Passing of Charles Tarleton (Ctarleton) - Advanced Prostate...

Advanced Prostate Cancer

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Passing of Charles Tarleton (Ctarleton)

gregg57 profile image

It is with great sadness and tears that I share news of the passing of my good friend Charles Tarleton (Ctarleton).

healthunlocked.com/user/cta...

He came into my life at one its most difficult moments. In early 2017, after two months of what I thought was some kind of bad flu, I had been diagnosed with stage 4 prostate cancer with a PSA of 463.

I arrived at a local support group one evening, almost shaking with fear. I probably looked like a deer caught in the headlights because I was. After introducing myself, I learned that I wasn’t the only one in the room with such a grim prognosis. There was one other man there who was also diagnosed with stage 4 prostate cancer. He had a whopping 5006 PSA! The group facilitator introduced me to Charles.

Suddenly, for the first time time since my diagnosis I didn’t feel so completely alone. After the meeting was over, he came over and handed me a small note with his email address on it so I could contact him. Below the address was a reminder: PSA 5006. I chuckled when I saw that, feeling a little better that mine was “only” 463.

That was the first of many support groups we would attend together, usually meeting beforehand for lunch or dinner to share whatever was going on with our lives at the time. Many times, those meetings were more valuable to me than the support groups we attended afterward. Sometimes I would come over to his house and spend time with him and his wonderful wife Wanda.

Charles was like an older brother to me, he helped me understand and brought calm into the frightening and uncertain world of advanced prostate cancer treatment. His knowledge helped guide me through some of the treatment decisions I had to make along the way. I learned from him that having stage 4 prostate cancer was not the death sentence that I had thought it was. The success of his treatment provided me with hope and stability as I navigated through my own.

Unfortunately, his body was also attacked by another cancer, stage 4 melanoma. Now he would “have to ride two horses”. I watched as he managed fighting two deadly cancers simultaneously while still maintaining a positive attitude. Not willing to give up, he took some difficult treatments along the way. By that time, Covid had limited the support groups we could attend and Charles’ disease was progressing.

When it was time for Charles to go into hospice, he took that in stride too, realizing it was the best care for him at that time. I continued calling or visiting him and Wanda at his home until his passing.

I miss you now, great friend. I hope you know how much of a difference you made in my life.

With love,

Gregg

73 Replies

What a wonderful tribute, Charles sounded like a great man and a great friend. I'm thinking of you and him and you both will be in my prayers.

gregg57 profile image
gregg57 in reply to vforvendetta

Thanks. I cried quite a bit writing this. It's always harder than I think it will be.

vforvendetta profile image
vforvendetta in reply to gregg57

I hope it helped you and was a good emotional release. It certainly conveyed how important he was to you. I always tell my loved ones to not hold back when they want to cry. Let it flow.

Nalakrats profile image
Nalakrats in reply to gregg57

Yes, I know gregg--->having recently gone thru the last months of Greatjohns life. So sad!There seems to be that we are having losses from members who joined in 2016/17. I am more than sorry, as I never got to communicate with Charles very much. I did have a few back and forths--but not anything like what you had in your friendship. God has a way of putting people together. We do need a WARP SPEED approach to Pca/and all cancers. I know it can be done-->but the will of those in control would rather manage their fiefdoms---> than work as a team, to save lives. In your sadness, for your loss-->I Pray for a Peace of Heart, Mind, Body, and Soul--and an understanding that Charles is in an Eternal Place, that is Timeless and Endless, and without pain and strife. I assure you this place exists!

Sincerely,

Nal

In my 3.5 years on this site, I have been a reader not a poster. I have rarely had other men on this site befriend me on instant messenger. However, Charles and I did have a continuing conversation. He was warm and sympathetic to me even though it was readily apparent that he was further down the road then I was. He was a good man and I will miss him.

gregg57 profile image
gregg57 in reply to Fitzbruce1

Great to hear that. Charles was a quiet, humble man, but he helped a lot of people.

What a great tribute to your friend and fellow PC sufferer. How wonderful that you were able to share your journeys and gain strength from each other. I have to say we also gain valuable knowledge and support from your posts, so thank you. G&J

gregg57 profile image
gregg57 in reply to hansjd

Thank you for sharing.

This is sad news. I looked forward to his well written posts that I found very educational. Thank you for this wonderful tribute. I'm sure he and Wanda appreciated your friendship.

An amazing tribute to human empathy and friendship.

I am so very sorry to hear this news! Bless you and bless him.

Sad to hear the news of passing of Charles Tarleton. My heartfelt condolences.

Thanks Gregg. I appreciated his posts as I appreciate this one. A fitting tribute, nicely said. May he rest in peace. We are losing far too many these days.

I'm really sorry to hear this.Thank you for sharing how your friendship began.

My prayers for Wanda, his family and his wonderful friends like you.

You are not alone 🙏

Terrible loss. My sincere condolences to you in particular and this group in general. Another great PCa hero-warrior has gone to Valhalla.

Gregg,

I’m sorry to hear the sad news about Charles. Thank you for letting us know. I cried as I read your post as it was so heartfelt. Charles was an amazing man. Even with all he was going through I received a few private messages when he was in hospice care. Although my wonderful husband is doing fairly well (undetectable PSA since March, 2021) we both know hospice care will be something he will most likely need sometime in the future. One of the messages Charles wrote to me was what I could do as a loving wife of a fellow PC warrior when the time comes to make things easier. Even in the worst circumstance he took the time to write such a kind and detailed message to me. It’s a message that means so much to me and my husband, Steve (Stevana on this site). My heart breaks for what his wife Wanda must be going through. Please let her know how much Charles meant to us on this site. Saying prayers for her, their family and his friends, like you, who loved him. 🙏💕

Count me in as one of the many people Charles helped. I first met him at a PCRI conference in Los Angeles, when he announced to an advanced metastatic support group that he had a PSA higher than 5000, I thought I must meet this man. We became friends, had several dinners together, I met his wife Wanda, and we corresponded over the years. I knew Charles was failing and in hospice but this still came as a shock. So very sad!

The first person that we wrote mesage to ask experience on Hearthunlokked was Ctarleton. He shared his insights to answer our questions. I sometimes still re-read his messages. I knew he was in hospice but just silently followed his information. Now he is gone, I have no chance to tell him how grateful I am for his encouragement in my father’s battle with PC. My condolences to his family

CAMPSOUPS profile image
CAMPSOUPS in reply to Dawn80

It's ok. Imagine in your mind that he knows.I do that with deceased loved ones when I remember something I never communicated about.

My deepest heartfelt condolences out to you brother Gregg and Wanda as well. It’s so sad to hear of another brother’s time coming to an end. Charles sounds like he was such a great guy.

Best wishes ❤️❤️❤️

What a great friend, so sorry for your loss

gregg57, I wish with all my heart there was something I could say to take away your pain. Take the time you need to mourn his loss. There is no rule book.

Darryl profile image
DarrylPartner

Thank you for sharing this deeply sad news. Condolences.

0oh Gregg..... it never hurts any less when we lose someone dear to our hearts here but sometimes it hurts more😢. Charles will be very missed. My most sincere sympathy to You, Wanda and all who dearly cared for and loved Charles. A great loss to our family group and a great loss to the world😢😢😢😢.Most sincere,

😢Jackie

Sisira profile image
Sisira in reply to erjlg3

Hi Jackie 🙂.

erjlg3 profile image
erjlg3 in reply to Sisira

Hi Sisira,I hope you are doing well and feeling good.

Hugs 🤗

🌻Jackie

Sisira profile image
Sisira in reply to erjlg3

Thanks Jackie. I'm in good health 🙂.

erjlg3 profile image
erjlg3 in reply to Sisira

That makes my heart smile Sisira🤗

A lovely remembrance of him, thanks. It brought up all my suppressed memories of all the men in my support groups who have died. In over 10 years of support groups, there have been far too many. I think I will in the future follow your lead and write a few words in tribute to them, hoping there will be very few. It is important not to forget. Thanks.

Sisira profile image
Sisira in reply to Tall_Allen

Appreciate your humility .

Lovely Tribute Gregg!Charles would be grateful. You are the definition of a good friend.

Sorry for Your (Our) loss Brother,

Mike

gregg57 profile image
gregg57 in reply to Spyder54

Thanks Mike.

Wanda told me she wasn't sure if Charles had the chance to tell me he wanted me to write something for this forum. He didn't tell me directly, but I knew.

Beautifully said, Gregg! What a sincere and appreciative tribute! Sending HUGS to you for the passing of your friend and mentor.

Wishing peace and sending love to his family and friends <3

Fondly,

Sunlight

Thanks Gregg for your sad but heartfelt post. As Charles was your mentor, you now carry on his legacy with your posts here that help others. My sympathies to his family, to you and all his friends here.

You need to pickup the torch that Charles left burning Gregg and move forward like he would have wanted you to. It's your turn. Someone has to attempt to fill his shoes here.

With great passion and sensitivity his loss was not actually.I believe he left you his message encrypted it’s ironic how God works.

I so hate this C. I will never say that nameEvery man that leaves this life, has one name

to me Hero ❤️🙏

Hi gregg57

Please convey my heartfelt condolences to Wanda and Family.

Haniff

RIP to your dear friend, who clearly touched your life immensely.I wish you all the best with your own trek going forward

Take care

Gregg, what a wonderful tribute to your friend and mentor, Charles. Condolences to Wanda and family. May he rest in peace.

I have to mirror Greggs post as I had the same experiences with Charles. As a neube in 2018 and at my first local support group meeting he quickly reached out to me so I could learn that my 1303 PSA wasn't so bad after all and that instead of not being around for the end of 2018 as predicted by my first oncologist that standing before me was living proof I had a chance at a bit more time.A frightened neube couldn't have asked for more. Learning how to share with a bunch of new friends is the best medicine and Charles was the best advocate about the possibilities available.

I miss you Charles and will remember you always.

Dennis

2Dee

What a beautiful Tribute to charles and his legacy. I have lost two fellow warriors not on this forum, that I spent a significant amount of time with. One in a clinical trial, and another in a care facility for radiation. And ironically he lived in the same small town I lived in. Its very difficult gregg, especially when we know our fate will be similar, and to watch them suffer. Although it sounds like he was loved, and to me that means he lives on. Take care.

Such a beautiful tribute. I would say you were quite lucky to have had one another.

Most sincere tribute to your good friend Gregg, so heart rendering! May Charles rest in eternal peace and my deepest sympathies to his wife 🙏.

I concur with all who wrote before me. A wonderful tribute. I followed Charles on here as well since my husband's diagnosis in 2017 stage 4 and PSA 677. He helped so many here- those he messaged and those he helped through his comments and posts. What a loss for his family, friends and this community. But what a blessing he seems to have given so many. His words on this site will continue to help others.

Polly

Beautiful tribute to your friend.He seems to have been a blessing to so many.Rare quality only a few have.Prayers for his family and all the men who have lost a fellow warrior.

Gregg sorry to hear of Charles passing. Condolences to his family and friends. I am grateful too know that Charles is wrapped in our lords arms and suffering no more.

Wonderful tribute Gregg. Prayers going out for Charles’ family and friends.

Thank you. This is an inspiring story.

Kind words gregg, sorry to hear the sad news

Thank you for sharing your beautiful tribute. Our condolences. Om Shanti.

Thank you for sharing and condolences for your loss! It's an all too often sobering reminder of how frail our station in life really is, regardless of illness or injury which only compounds these thoughts. Again, so sorry for your loss!

Best Regards

Thank you for your moving tribute to Charles. My most sincere condolences.

Beautiful tribute to a friend and mentor. We should all be so lucky to have such a person in our lives.

It is sad to read of yet another person's passing. Hope Charles rests in peace now. A lovely tribute from you. Since my husband's diagnosis in the summer of 2020, I have read with sadness of a few passings and have to remind myself that a lot more men are doing well. Difficult to avoid a sense of fear when reading about the suffering of some. Sending you and Charles's family a prayer from me. 🙏

Greg I don't want to sound too mushy but you always rise to the occasion here, come to the plate in your posts and replies. One of the hardest things you had to type out here and you are again so present of mind that you gave us a beautiful insight into who Charles was in person. I truly feel for you at this time to lose him as a friend indeed.

You Gregg I have paid attention to way back when I snuck in here to look around before actually joining. Your PSA somewhat high and like me chemo initially. In short I am a little ways behind you and currently hoping the Zytiga I started 5 months ago has a long run.

Charles of course I latched onto right away and always kept an eye on here and followed him closely he with his 5000 PSA and me with my 1621 PSA.

I am sad as we all are and really now knowing him so well amplifies the sadness.....

Very sorry for your loss Gregg. Bless you both🙏🏻RIP Charles🙏🏻

Gods peace on you bro..

Again, another star blinks silently into existence in the evening sky, brightly lighting the way for those of us who will follow.

Sincere condolences - each time we lose a member here, or elsewhere in our lives, it is a stark reminder of our fragile limited humanity, and to cherish those we hold dear while they are here.

The only true death is when you are forgotten. This site ensures that will not happen easily.

Pax

Whoah nelly! 😩😩😩Rest in Peace !

I hope no one objects to my reprinting a partial post from Charles.

Hospice Notes 12/27/21

I took my first lowest starter dose of Hospice-prescribed Lorazepam, the commonly used anti-anxiety medication that can "take the edge off" of these medical, mental, emotional issues as they may start drifting too close the dysfunctional deep end of the pool.

I hope it all starts working out better soon. The sadness, suffering, minor setbacks in the interactions are difficult. I feel bad. It gets so crazy, and it's no fun feeling like I'm collecting the assorted rags and other costuming bits to put together a full Ogre costume one of these unsuspected weekday evenings.

Charles

What a nice man. I once had the opportunity to speak with Charles. We both shared the same maladies, Pca and Melanoma. May he finally rest in peace and end the suffering which he had to endure fighting the devil. He is with the angels and watching his loving wife and all the members of his family and his friends. He undoubtedly read all of the moving tributes to him from our members, especially from his wonderful friend gregg57. So sad.

j-o-h-n Friday 01/14/2022 8:28 PM EST

GeorgeGlass profile image
GeorgeGlass in reply to j-o-h-n

well said John. thanks for sharing.George

erjlg3 profile image
erjlg3 in reply to j-o-h-n

🌻❤

I'm so sorry, Gregg. For me, Charles was a strong, consistent, comforting voice here at HU, and I will miss his voice. - Joe M.

You both sound like great friends who supported each other thru trying times. Nothing better than that. I’m sorry for your loss and wish you the best in your fight going forward.

If words could cure..........r.i.p charles....

Two things about Charles - He had the same last name as my professor of military science when I was a cadet, and everytime I read something from him, or corresponded with him, I always thought to myself, wow, that guy is really smart and well spoken. I'm glad that his life was in such a place that he could take his demise with grace and composure, but it's still upsetting to hear of his loss. What bothers me most on this site is when someone seems to be doing pretty well, with a low psa, and then they go downhill quickly for a couple of years. I suppose that some people go faster and some go slower. Sad when we lose someone quickly 😔

RIP

When was he first diagnosed?

gregg57 profile image
gregg57 in reply to dhccpa

All the details are here in his profile:

healthunlocked.com/user/cta...

dhccpa profile image
dhccpa in reply to gregg57

Thanks

Your post sums his life up. He was someone that unselfishly helped others with the knowledge he gained from his own experience and his emotional support despite his own illness.

It isn't often that we meet people in this life who will unselfishly help others when they have their own challenges.

Currumpaw

With deepest sympathy on the loss of your dear friend, Charles.

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