Anyone else relate?

[Jay_25]

is it just me, or a symptom, I know no one likes repeating themselves but I feel like for me specifically it irks me, like I hate it with a passion. Or like when people are being passive aggressive?

[wtfadhd]

LOL!

not sure if its ADHD but i too, have absolutely have zero tolerance for passive aggressive behaviors. LOL

[PinkPanda23 in reply to wtfadhd]

Drives me nucking futs! It makes me very defensive, like they think I'm stupid and didn't get it the first time. And I'm married to a sweetheart who repeats everything because part of his diagnosis (not ADHD) is an obsession to be clearly understood. Just different neurodivergent folks living together. 🙂

[Jay_25 in reply to PinkPanda23]

See I knew I wasn’t the only one.

[LoveFeelsBest in reply to PinkPanda23]

Well that sounds challenging but interesting

[Jay_25 in reply to wtfadhd]

for real, for real it’s terrible lol.

[LoveFeelsBest]

Yeah. I notice professional bullshitters commonly repeat themselves to emphasize their point when they had no substance to utilize. The use of superlatives also bothers me. Anytime no one has much of a point they say “all” or “ always” or “every single” then I automatically label them fuckheads not to be trusted. But I guess it is human nature to embellish and exaggerate especially when we want attention or to be heard.

[PinkPanda23 in reply to LoveFeelsBest]

"Professional bullshitters." 🤣😂🤬

[Jay_25 in reply to LoveFeelsBest]

Well put for sure

[Mamamichl]

I wish I didn’t have a processing disorder, since I have to ask people to repeat themselves so much my 10 yo raises her voice to me. It’s also had me lose jobs.

Repeating myself used to irk me too, but I have calmed down in my 30s. For me it was not efficient. These days, I pay attention more to feelings than words.

[LoveFeelsBest in reply to Mamamichl]

Maybe I have a processing disorder but there’s only so many hours in a day. If I was to focus my energy and attention on all my faults or disorders I wouldn’t have time to utilize my strengths and assets. It’s prob best we all surround ourselves with understanding neurodivergent folks so we don’t have to worry so much about being judged for being so unique

[Mamamichl in reply to LoveFeelsBest]

Oh. Just remembered. I went to have a neurological evaluation last month, and they said that processing disorders are not in the dsm as a real disorder. It’s just a symptom that ranges in several actual diagnosable disorders.

[Jay_25 in reply to Mamamichl]

That explains a lot, with the overlap in diagnosis

[wtfadhd in reply to LoveFeelsBest]

omg love everything u wrote on this thread. but i disagree that all neurodivergent people are accepting n dont judge! lol.

i think alot of us struggle in a unique way n therefore we judge people all the time bc were irritated with the neurotypical world… , ie “ bullshitters, vanilla, etc etc😂.

at least i personally struggle with this. im working on it!

[Jay_25 in reply to wtfadhd]

I feel like to an extent you are both right, it differs from person to person. Everyone is judgmental to a point, doesn’t necessarily have to be a bad things as long as it’s coming from a balanced or neutral. Isn’t that how we make decisions, or know if someone’s good for us or bad for us. ADHDers are literally walking lie directors.

[Jay_25 in reply to LoveFeelsBest]

That’s a bar, I’ve been saying for the longest that there should be a place, whether it’s common hang out areas or sum adjacent that caters to neurodivergent people. (Introverts, ADHDers, etc). Since for the most part we are on the same wavelength, imagine the camaraderie.

[Mamamichl in reply to LoveFeelsBest]

I know what you mean about time. Although I’ve been spending time actually looking into my differing abilities, I have been listening to audiobooks and doing DBT to gain confidence and learn about the super powers I have as well.

[Jay_25 in reply to Mamamichl]

I can vouch for the feelings over words, I guess that would be under the lines of “it’s not what you say, it’s how you say them.”

[STEM_Dad]

I think that I'm much more tolerant of those issues. It probably depends on the context and the situation.

Then again, I often have to have people repeat themselves because I didn't catch what they said the first time. I also tend to repeat myself, often without knowing that I did.

I've been called out for being passive-aggressive, sometimes. (Mostly by my ex.) It's the only sort of aggression that I am capable of.

~~~~~

What upsets me are:

• Manipulation and gaslighting

• Being talked down to

• Witnessing others be manipulated, gaslit, or talked down to

• People who are being aggressive

I can respect people who are being assertive. I can tolerate people to are passive-aggressive (to a point...if they always are, then I'll have a problem with it).

I just can't tolerate bullies and manipulators. (And I realize that some people use passive-aggressive behavior to more surreptitiously manipulate or bully others.

[Jay_25 in reply to STEM_Dad]

I like that “surreptitiously manipulate” well not in a good way of course just the way you put it. And I agree, someone belittle someone else, and that’s kinda what I was referring to in the post. Doing it with negative intentions, and when you’re repeating yourself to a point where it’s like you toss her hands up in the air, not literally.

[STEM_Dad in reply to Jay_25]

Now I think I understand what you mean about people who repeat themselves. Some people repeat themselves because they are forgetful, and forgot the had already said what they said. Or, their mind is just stuck on that one thing. But I don't think they are who you're talking about.

There are some people who repeat themselves in order to bring attention to an issue that they believe is critically important. (In this case, I'm thinking of Civil Rights movement leaders from the '50s and '60s.) I think you don't mean them, either.

There are other people who repeat themselves in order to manipulate, either to manipulate other people or to manipulate a situation in their favor. I worked in a department led by an administrator who did this. For months, he talked up a particular project that he was taking credit for, while not giving much attention to the dozen or so other important projects going on at the same time. By the time he did the rollout for the final project, he scheduled a required meeting and presented ad nauseum for 45 minutes on what should have been a 5-10 minute tutorial.

... classic narcissism. Attention seeking to support their own ego, making trivial things that they do sound like they are the most important thing at that time.

Or worse, when someone repeats a lie frequently, because they want everyone to believe it to be the truth.

[Jay_25 in reply to STEM_Dad]

I was more so speaking to the last part with manipulation and narcissism, but otherwise good takes.

[highnoon22]

Oh dear...do you mean if someone asks you to repeat yourself it irks you? I'm guilty! I have a hearing disability and wear hearing aids and still I have to ask someone who speaks softly or too fast, to please say it again. I might have misunderstood your statement.