Need Advice

[Chrysalis3]

at the end of the day all i have to show for are excuses.

i didn’t take treatment (therapy and medication) seriously

enough because i was making excuses that it was too difficult to speak to my husband to coordinate a day and time to stick to and that medication was hard to continue because i made excuses that what my husband was telling me about the medication was valid. so my excuse is that i lost confidence. lost trust in myself and place it in other peoples hands and i did not take charge or take the control to make my own decisions or take action.

now i sit here with people soon to ask me why didn’t you stick to therapy ? what happened to the medication? why didn’t you stick to it ? oh you’re just a ball of excuses. how is it that in 3 years you have not moved forward one bit?

i’m a very i allowed my negative thoughts and feeling and roller coaster emotions to make decisions for myself and that people pleasing and not being authentic to myself has led me down a very superficial path.

i’m angry that even when i tried or i thought i was trying i really wasn’t .

i’m angry i have nothing to show despite the people i have involved in my disaster situation and all will look at me like i am this crazy , loose cannon of a person and no one will understand the role adhd has in some of these ebbs and flows of my life.

l

[Mamamichl]

I get the loss of confidence. I tried all 3 stimulants and they didn’t work for me. I really wanted them to work, but when I tried the first one without stimulants, it helped. I get not sticking to one treatment. Keep trying them if you can. You will find one that gives you relief. I know it’s hard.

It’s also possible the symptoms of your ADHD isn’t having a big enough impact on your life that you want change. Just say you’re not ready for the change.

[Chrysalis3 in reply to Mamamichl]

the symptoms are bad…very bad…crippling and that’s where i need the help. to be honest it’s very complex to explain.

[Mamamichl in reply to Chrysalis3]

it can be hard to explain. I will take your word for it.

[Queen_of_Tara]

How about trying one thing at a time and see how it feels? Like if you try the medication, put reminders in place on your phone or somewhere visible, keep the meds in the same place and a place you will easily access at the time you need to take them. Or if those aren't your challenges, plan for the challenges you foresee and write down a plan for how to overcome them. With medication, depends on your body and the meds, you need to give it time to work. If accessible, ask the doctor how long and plan a check in after that time has passed. Keep track of any doses you missed or if you took them late. Would that feel more doable?

[Chrysalis3 in reply to Queen_of_Tara]

thank you Tara, yes that is doable.

Right now it’s hard because just when i am coming into the space of really trying to help myself and deal with this tug of war with myself and my brain…the support from my husband or any understanding from him is none. so if i have a day or week that i fall off …its such an issue that we spend the next 3-4 weeks intensely arguing and by the time we can recover from that so much damage has been done that it feels like starting from ground zero again.

So the pressure is on like at 500 on top of the 500 that i already feel inside. it just feels like squirrels running all day everyday in my head.

[BlessedLady]

It is up to you. You cannot continue to blame your husband. You know the problem. You have to decide to do something about it On Your Own and stick to it

[Chrysalis3 in reply to BlessedLady]

why does it feel like i can’t break this cycle. how do i get out of feeling crippled? i know it’s in me.

[BlessedLady in reply to Chrysalis3]

You need to see a Psychologist. They can help you understand your behavior and can advise you on how to change it. But it will be up to you. You and your husband might want to see a Marriage Counselor

[Chrysalis3 in reply to BlessedLady]

thanks