Advice Needed and New Here

Sorry to trouble all of you. First off, nice to meet you, and I hope you are having a great day.

I am in need of some advice with regards to what I should do. I graduated university in 2023, with an absolutely amazing maths degree, because I followed Cal Newports advice would recommend his books if you haven't already. Anyway, I have done nothing since, no jobs, no internships, no work experience nothing. I went from being the person that was the first in the library each morning, and the first to turn up to lectures, to the person that does absolutely nothing all day every day, because I don't know what I need to do and nothing sticks. Nothing. I get excited for a day, and then I wake up and do nothing just lying bed getting nothing done. I recently got diagnosed with ADHD, like this week, and I am waiting on titration. There is a chance that it doesn't work for me, so I am preparing for the worst. What do I need to get a job? How do I stop myself from being overwhelmed, by all the things I need to do? It feels like I got lucky at university by having the freedom to set my own routine, and I managed to do amazing because of that, but I think I will struggle in a job, and will almost immediately get fired, by not following instructions or just getting overwhelmed, or being overwhelmed by the job search process with regards to what I need to do. There are so many things I need to think of and do, and I just can't. I am in the UK, so I don't know if it is ok for me to join or not, but I got overwhelmed by reddit and realised it is not good for me, so I thought I would give this a shot.

I spend all day reading about things, but not actually doing anything, and I don't know how to fix that. I read a lot of companies in the UK, want to hire people with ADHD, for their divergent thinking, but I am not entirely sure which and I am not entirely sure, how to go about applying and what I need to do. It seems so silly, I am amazing at doing work, but if I am left to my own devices I get nothing done, and companies look at what you do in your free time, to see if they should hire you, but I just do the work required of me to a high quality and then do nothing else. There are graduate schemes in the UK, that I have missed this year, I could try applying next year, but I have also got this massive absence where I did nothing, that I can't explain. I could also apply to graduate jobs, but I am not entirely sure what I need to do before I apply and so on. It is all so confusing and overwhelming, so I get nothing done. The thing I have found works for me is focusing on a few things and doing them well, but the problem is I don't know what is needed to get a job, I don't know what I need to do, and what I need to prioritise so nothing gets done.

Here is what I think I need to do, improve my social skills, as they are currently at nill. Nada, which is bad. Secondly, improve my technical skills, maybe try doing some certifications in order to get jobs, but I don't know which and what I need to focus on. Gain some work experience, but I don't know how to do that with ADHD, I am like the laziest person ever, but if you give me a task I will unintentionally be absolutely amazing at it, but you can't manage me. I need to escape this mess of doing nothing every day, but I don't know how to. I need help. What do I do? Do I just wait for medication, and see what works, and then apply for jobs after that?

Sorry for the long wall of text. I am worried I don't really have ADHD, and I am just being lazy, and I need to try harder. But I don't know what I need to do. What if I really am just lazy, and got misdiagnosed and now need to grow up? Will medication even fix this?

[STEM_Dad]

Welcome to the forum Hidden !

You are certainly welcome here.

Not only does this community have many members from the UK, but I believe I've read that HealthUnlocked.com originated in the UK.

How you've described yourself and these struggles you've experienced, it certainly seems like ADHD. No worries about the long post...many of us tend to write long posts (especially for the introductory post).

I understand the resistance that you're experiencing. I started in the working world looking for a part time job when I was a 19 year old college student. At a time when job applications had to be submitted in person, being very introverted at the time, and looooong before my ADHD diagnosis, I went around putting in job applications with a couple of friends.

What I was doing, and what I've done at many jobs I've had, was something we now call "body doubling". For some reason, for many people, it's easier to get into working mode when working alongside other people. (We don't have to be doing the same thing as the people we are body doubling with.)

• The pandemic led a lot of people to do virtual body doubling.

If you got used to working in a certain kind of environment while at university, then another tactic to use when applying for jobs is to work at it in a similar environment.

• For example, if you did a lot of study or schoolwork done at the university library, then try working on applications at your local library.

Your first job is more of a learning experience. You might try internships, or an entry level job that doesn't even require a degree, just to get yourself started. Or do some volunteer work.

I initially developed people skills and communication skills a sales job at a shop. With your degree in maths, maybe you can get a tutoring job at a university or with a tutoring service. Then, you can use you skills in a similar environment to what you're used to, and it will help you to develop your people skills.

(By the way, based on your post, you definitely seem to have good written communication skills.)

[AlaskaSourdough]

I like what stem dad said. But also...

Your concerns sound a lot like what I am experiencing and therefore can pretty much guarantee you, you are NOT lazy! ADHDers have a hard time connecting the dots with certain things and what you are desperately trying to figure out is the same/similar place I am stuck. I take great comfort in knowing that we are absolutely brilliant in at least one area. So, my current quest is to find at least one thing I do really well. Also, many of us are entrepreneurs. Maybe try a little thinking outside the box and start your own business? Who says we have to work for an established company? Maybe the established company is the right fit for you, maybe not. Best wishes! PS I have not been formally diagnosed yet but have been doing my own research into ADHD and am certain it fits my experience. I have never taken meds for it and have heard mixed results from those who have. Try exercising right away, first thing in the morning to boost dopamine. If one med doesn't work another might. But typically you can't go wrong with natural methods.PPS Since you have been reading a lot, put that down in you resume for what you spent the last year on. Whether it is technical research papers or novels, you are a well read person and that can be a great asset!

[No60]

I don’t live in the UK so I don’t know what resources you have available to you. I would suggest that you check out Chadd.org or ADHD rewired.com with Eric Tivers. Maybe joining a coaching group which is offered on ADHD rewired. There are many free podcast available as well. Don’t call yourself lazy because you are not. This is a bad term created by neurotypical individuals who don’t understand neurodiverse individuals.

Getting on medications for your ADHD is important but so is getting cognitive behavioral therapy specific for ADHD as well. It will take some time but it has proven to help many individuals.

[2GOB4]

I thought I was lazy too but I’m not. And you are not either. My ADHD is the inattentive type and I have great difficulty in making decisions, but like you if I find something I like I can hyper focus on it and learn it easily. But if it’s something I’m not familiar with I get lost or lose interest. Read up on the 6 different types of ADHD and you will probably find yourself in one of them. For me it was a late in life awakening. Best wishes for success.

[Slmndrs]

One thing that helped me is always having a job, even if it’s minimum wage and not at all career related. It’s very hard for me to structure my own time, and having a place to be and a time to be there was actually really helpful - even though I had less free time, I got so much more done with it. Those kinds of jobs can sometimes also be good for practicing and building social skills and low pressure relationships.