Am I the only one who hates sending holiday cards?

[ArtsyBrain]

Does anyone else out there have trouble sending holiday cards? My husband sends them out to all his friends and family and thinks I'm lazy and selfish for not doing so. But for me, the thought of having to: pick out the cards; decide who I'm going to send them to; look up all those addresses; think of something to write inside to make it more "personal"; find the stamps; and then there's inevitably some where I spell someone's name wrong and have to decide whether to use white-out (which looks so tacky) or just chuck it and start over with a new card, etc. is overwhelming to me and just adds more stress to an already stressful time of year. So I don't. Even sending e-cards seems like a daunting task that I avoid. I would much rather pick up the phone and give my closest friends and family members a call. It also seems more personal. I figure anyone who's a true friend or family member won't be offended that they didn't get a card from me. But my husband always makes some negative comment that makes me feel bad every year. Since I was just recently diagnosed with ADHD, I never realized that my feeling overwhelmed by, and avoidance of, something that should be a simple task could be related to it. Does anyone else struggle with this tradition?

[BeamBlue]

Cards are nice, but they are not the only way to connect with loved ones during the holidays. I think your preference for calling is much more personal and is a very acceptable replacement for cards. I also get overwhelmed with cards and I'm not the best at being a consistent friends. So what I have started to do is every January I make a list of the friends that I don't talk to regularly and every week I make it a point to connect with one of them by phone, a thoughtful email, text or in person. That way it isn't overwhelming and I can really appreciate the time spent with that person.

[ArtsyBrain in reply to BeamBlue]

That's a great idea! Maybe I'll try that this coming year.

[STEM_Dad]

I can never remember to send holiday cards (though maybe I should give it a try this year). When I was married, my wife didn't want to bother with doing so.

I don't think that you need to include personal notes on every card you send. My parents print out a letter that's a recap of their year, which they fold up and tuck inside the card. My mom hand writes a well wishing message in the card, with a scripture reference. That's it. (They prefer to share more personal things in phone calls.)

[LisethHIS]

Hi ArtsyBrain,

Thank you for contacting CHADD National Resource Center on ADHD. When it comes to you writing cards, it really a personal choice of how you would like to communicate with others. Perhaps you can share this with your spouse. d393uh8gb46l22.cloudfront.n... and chadd.org/adhd-weekly/relat... writing cards overwhelms you overall, just explain it to your spouse.

If you have further questions, please let us know. We are here to help!

Liseth

Health Information Specialist

CHADD’s National Resource Center on ADHD chadd.org

[Mamamichl]

I’ve only started giving out cards over the last 4-5 years (I started during Covid so people knew I still thought of them). Maybe you can make a running list and just send out a “thinking of you” card every month or two and go through the list over a year. I do know how doing so with your whole list in one go is overwhelming, time consuming and expensive. This is the first year we can’t do it because we’ve been homeless this year. I usually also do a family newsletter to go with the card so that people have our pictures as well as know what we’ve been up to this year.

As for you and your partner, don’t let him guilt trip you into doing something you do t want. You two need to communicate expectations and wants/needs. This may be something you need to put a boundary on for him and tell him he needs to back off.

[ArtsyBrain in reply to Mamamichl]

Hi Mamamichl! I'm so sorry to hear that you're homeless right now! That's happening to a lot of people lately with the economy and inflation the way it is. And, yes, I need to be more assertive with my husband. Sometimes I just say nothing to avoid a conflict. Several responders have suggested an update letter. I might try that. I hope you will find a way to have at least a pleasant Christmas. If nothing else, remember that Jesus was born homeless. I hope things improve for you in this coming new year. I will pray for you. Hang in there!

[Mamamichl in reply to ArtsyBrain]

We were trying to purchase a home but it took all of our savings and fell through anyway. We did find a place to rent about a month ago, so we were homeless for 4 months. Thank you for the encouragement. I have learned that things are not change unless you’re assertive. We were homeless because we thought moving in to help my dad was good idea then became verbally assaulted weekly. Then my mom had us in her rv for 17 days, kicked us out and sued us for small claims. I’m tired of their harassment and put in for PPO on her and her husband (parents are divorced). I just want them to leave me alone,

[DreamingOfNormal]

I used to… Now rather than cards and/or a “newsletter”, I pick out photos of what we did in the previous year. I compose it in Pages on my iPad, print them out on a sheet of 8-1/2” X 11” paper. I usually start early in the year, since I have photos. Our greeting is on the page, & I mail merge with our address book & print envelopes, too! All I have to do is fold, stuff the envelopes, put on a stamp & I’m done!

[PinkPanda23]

Yes! I solved the problem in the past by ordering photo cards with matching envelopes that already had our return address printed on them. All I did was stuff envelopes and either write the addresses on them, or use a label program to print them. Using a program made it easy to re-use the list every year. But this year, I'm caught short and feeling all the anxiety, guilt, regret and pressure I ever did. Dammit! 🙄 I will still send a few, but not the 60 or so I sent when I was proactive. And I will work on giving myself a break about it...Happy Holidays!🎶

[JustKeepSwimming123]

Um no, I don't struggle with it because I don't participate in it 😂 Are you in the South or Midwest US? Didn't know this was obligatory to participate in. I'm in the south and I still never felt pressure to do so.

[Burhanerdem]

Some people like to send a card during the holiday time just because his/ her family used to teach them how important to send a holiday card despite some family never get used to send a card which is normal. If you do not think this does not put you down you do not need to send it.