What are the random things about you that you think might now be ADHD? I've been running into traits and characteristics and habits and pet peeves ever since realizing that I had it, and they all seem to stem from ADHD. So I thought I'd ask what those "aha" moments were for you guys.
My inability to use two hands for any "quick" task. I seem obsessed with only doing something one handed and on the fly, then I get irritated when I have to stop, put down the other thing I'm doing and engage fully with the task. This leads to a lot of delays as I try to casually open that bag of snacks or backpack zipper or gum container with one hand while driving, or while carrying something out of my room. Dang it! This is a two-hand job! My brain hates it.
I hate making two trips. I want to carry all the things into the other room in ONE GO. This causes accidents and frustration when the four cups I try to carry out of my room spill.
I hate moving slowly. I spent 10 years as a massage therapist who always finished their sessions 10 minutes too early before I figured out I had ADHD. I try to be the quickest at everything. I walk quickly, talk quickly, type quickly. It's definitely a sign of impulsivity.
What are your ADHD quirks that you thought might have just been personal to you, but that you now see are connected to this disorder?
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Fayerweather
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It is staggering to discover how many of the unique things and behaviors turn out to be drive by ADHD and not some personal choice or differentiating characteristics. I remember questioning what was me and what was biochemistry, when I first discovered I had ADHD.
I was on the outskirts of friends and at school, not well accepted and thus kind of a loner.
I was not very skillful at sports, didn't perform well and developed no interest in them.
I was particularly good at trying new things, learning new things, but that was dopamine seeking not a characteristic. Similarly I was turned off by routines and ruts.
Bored doing the third, fourth, fiftieth of the same activity, tried to rush through them and felt a kind of psychic discomfort at repeating an action that had no mental discovery or novelty to it
I told myself I was gifted at handling new things and impatient with routine.
Messy disorganized desk and school binders, forgetting tasks, procrastinating - all those things that I thought were unique to me - personality or character defects like laziness.
Enjoyed trying things like skydiving, motorcycling, scuba diving - took risks like climbing on rooftops or driving way too fast. Told myself I was adventurous as a personality trait.
It was eye opening when I attended my first virtual support group meetings - seeing many dozens of people with almost identical preferences, characteristics and behaviors. That dramatically illustrated how powerful an effect ADHD has on personality and behavior.
After diagnosis & now discovering other ADHDers with the same personality traits, it constantly amazes me as to how I/we all spent so much time without friends in our lives while other undiagnosed like us were going through the exact same thing! Where were those other wild children in my youth? … ahhh I remember now, we ‘forgot’ to keep in touch 🤦🏼♀️
Yup! All these unique and quirky things about me are ADHD. I'm sure there are flavors of my personality that shine through all over the place, and that we all experience these symptoms in slightly different ways. Like, I was NOT a risk taker when it came to dangerous things like sky diving. But I definitely did a lot of drugs, drove drunk, shoplifted a lot in my teens and 20s. Because I didn't do stuff like get on motorcycles or fly off to foreign countries or go on shopping sprees with a maxed out credit card, I assumed I was quite patient, sensible and responsible, but my behaviors were just as impulsive and dangerous as jumping out of a plane. (that's awesome by the way)
Same here: No or few friends in school and that has been consistent throughout adulthood. I blamed my lack of friends on the school, on how far we lived from town, I was too young and then I was too old. I wasn’t cool enough. Etc etc. I didn’t see until the past few years how blunt I can be, how I tend to push people away, how I can over react to things said or obsess over small things no one else noticed.
My mom had me in ballet because I would walk up the stairs using the same foot to lead, each time I took a step up and she had been taking special education classes and knew that the stair thing was an indication of deeper issues.
My mom took me to get my hearing checked because I didn’t respond when she called. They said my hearing was perfect. I now know I had processing issues. That, by the way, no doctor had even hinted that processing could be the culprit.
I had trouble getting my school work done. In school all the other kids would finish way before me and then I had to struggle with the distractions of paper rustling, pencils getting dropped, kids sharpening their pencils, the squeaking of the chairs against the floor. Etc etc.
I forgot my homework, I forgot my bag, I forgot my jacket. My mom had me in multiple after school groups and I was never where I was supposed to be, when I was supposed to be there.
I was impulsive and had a terrible temper. I was always in the office at school for fighting or being obstinate with adults. I was constantly grounded or given punishment at home. I once pulled the chair out from under the shyest, sweetest girl in class during a circle discussion. It was in front of the entire class, including the teacher. They all heckled me immediately and to this day, I have no idea why I did it.
My class work was never up to the level that I tested at on those mandated tests we took every year and on every report card it said that I wasn’t working to my potential and that I was constantly day dreaming.
I was in school during the eighties and early nineties, though, so even as my brother got his diagnosis in elementary school, I remained on my own, with no help, struggling through each year, never reaching my full potential, because I was labeled lazy unorganized and unruly
Now, I can look back and see myself and my behaviors with a more forgiving eye, but I can’t go back and change it.
I used to just think of myself at "quirky" because of my quirks.
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I definitely identify with the second trait you listed: I would sooner strain myself carrying more in one trip, than make two trips. I've been this way since I was a teen or pre-teen.
I'm much the reverse when it comes to rushing to do something. Whenever possible, I take a slower approach, analyzing a situation to make sure I'm taking correct action. That's because I'd rather that extra time to do something right the first time, than have to go back and redo it. (I have predominantly Inattentive ADHD, with very little impulsivity. My own impulsivity is usually in response to novelty and interest, not a regular part of my ADHD traits.)
Novelty-seeking is definitely part of my ADHD traits. I also tend to have revolving special interests...I cycle in and out of the same special interests, and adopt new ones over time. It's very different from autistic special interests, because I'm not persistent with one or a few...I have had many special interests. I'll hyperfocus on one, move to the next, might go back to the first one in a few days or a few years.
* It was hard for me to stick with a college major. I pursued 5 different majors, and ended up not graduating. If I were to go back to school now, I'd pursue a different major, and then have a different interest I'd like to study in grad school.
* I work in Information Technology, but I want to understand something about everything, so I haven't been able to buckle down and specialize in app development or network management or anything else. I am a "generalist", because I do a little of everything... I'm a "Jack of all Trades, Master of None" in the IT sphere. And that's why I still work in technical support, instead of pursuing a specialty like most IT workers do.
(I also get to combine my interests in psychology, engineering, and design with my tech support work, occasionally...as well as keep my customer service skills sharp, which I developed in my retail sales days of my early career.)
I used to think that saying as a bit of an insult , a person who can do many things but is not an expert in any of them, but it’s actually intended as a compliment. The full phrase is “a jack of all trades is a master of none, but oftentimes better than a master of one.” (Originally written by Shakespeare)
Thank you for the full quote. I have never known before they there was more to the saying, but it makes more sense that way.
Yes, I feel very useful in my role. I have many skills and knowledge of a breadth of things which come in handy. I wouldn't have my current job if I didn't have such a diverse skill set.
And I've found that many of the people who specialize forget how to do the things that I can do with just a little thought, or a quick Google search to point me in the right direction. (Newest arrow in my quiver: I used Chat-GPT for the first time yesterday to find troubleshooting steps to two problems that my Google queries didn't help with.)
ChatGPT is an AI model which has been trained to interact with people in a more conversational way. It's not a "virtual assistant" like Alexa or Siri. It's much more capable than them in some ways (but I don't think it is made to play music, control smart bulbs, or place add things to your Amazon cart).
Right now, it's free to use during the "research preview", but I'm the future I expect it will be a subscription service.
I think I'm one of the last people on my IT work team to try it out, and I was pleased that 2 out of my 3 query attempts were successful.
"I have had many special interests. I'll hyperfocus on one, move to the next, might go back to the first one in a few days or a few years." Yup. This is me to a T. I watch five or six shows at a time, become obsessed with a hobby for a few years, then on to the next, then back to the first again. I am always fascinated and obsessed by something. It was science fiction novels, then it was politics, then it was true crime, then it was fanfiction, now it's obsessively researching and talking about ADHD as I figure out how my brain works.
I'm pretty impulsive, but not at all hyperactive, and don't have any perfectionism, which is a common trait in ADHDers, so I feel like a lot of us embody one trait more than others. Very interesting. Thanks for your reply!
I definitely have dealt with perfectionism a lot over the years. On the flip side, I'm very accepting of others as they are, very tolerant of others' mistakes or lapses, but not my own. So, it's taken some conscious effort, but in recent years, I've much more accepting of myself and my limitations. At the same time, I've also been becoming more trusting in my own judgement and a little skeptical of others'judgement, because a few years back I got seriously impacted by the poor judgement decisions of a couple of people in management at a previous job, when I'd given them too power over me.
Oh wow loud noises drive me CRAZY, I am quick to anger, cannot stand things not done right, things out of place. I do not sit still even when I am sitting still. I pick my skin on my fingers. I cannot stand being touched sometimes. There are good things too...I am creative, eccentric and unique!
Have you been assessed for sensory disorders? An occupational therapist who k ows how to treat these disorders could do this assessment & provide assistance with techniques to cope/overcome sensitivity to noise for example.
I have a lot of those issues, though maybe less severe. I hate loud noises. Hate the sound of people chewing. I have no issues with touch, but temperature, noise, the way my clothes fit, even the slightest feeling of something touching me that it's comfortable will nag at me relentlessly until I fix it.
hate loud noises? - probably is hyperacusis. Hate the sound of people chewing? - this is mysophonia . These hyper irritants knock thoughts right out of your head, forget what you were thinking about, or just agitate our nerves.
I too hate having to make 2 trips but my issue there & those with many of my patients with ADHD seems to be more of an efficiency foucus. I make up a routine with a focus towardthe quickest & most efficient way of getting things done as do many with whom I work. One worked in a bakery & others were amazed at how quickly & efficiently his cake baking process was. One created a better, quicker way of filling ice dispensers &was really frustrated when his manager told him to return tothe former method despite thebenefits of his method. Even after we've been successfully using a routine, we constantly re-assess efficiency. Nowthat I am writing about it, I suspect this may berelated to the also frequent tendency toward perfectionism
I have very few perfectionistic tendencies. But the efficiency thing resonates with me. I think I hate doing one thing when I could get two things done instead. That's what's probably behind my hating making two trips. At home and at work, I try to plan things out as efficiently as possible to keep from wasting time, so I like to do two things at a time. Sometimes this spins out of control and I make a mess of things, but I like the idea of us liking to be efficient and creating good efficiency workarounds. That's a nice thing to believe.
People throughout my life have regularly commented that I know a lot of songs, word for word. I never thought much of it, since it’s not a really useful “talent”, but since I am now more aware of ADHD traits, I realize that I tend to listen to the same song or album repeatedly and I definitely feel calmer when I sing them word for word. Now I realize that this is a form of stimming, and all my life I just thought I liked to sing and knew the words to a lot of songs.
Yes! Me too! I used to sing along to every song on the radio and often listen to my favorites over and over again. The singing is calming and therapeutic. Never thought that was connected to ADHD until this moment
This just blew my mind. I know EVERY song, or so it seems. As a kid, I would write the lyrics to ALL the songs (back in the mixtape 80s and 90s!) and, of course, I'd then know them ALL. And now? I still do--and the new ones, too.
I haven't been listening to the radio as much lately, but yeah, same. All the popular hits on all the stations, plus all the oldies. I think knowing the lyrics is reassuring, because I can prove I can remember something. And of course, singing is soothing.
Random thing that only makes sense today--well.... So, I'm a special ed teacher, newly diagnosed. Today was our talent show and my para and I were doing a skit. The show was in the afternoon. I spent the whole morning dancing around my classroom with my students, having a fun Friday before spring break before our school show. I COULD NOT sit still, like I was BIG TIME WIRED. After we performed, I was still so revved up. I would have thought it was just the coffee, way back in the day, but now? Nope, this is waaaay more than coffee.
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