Son with ADHD - Job Transition

[DRFor]

Our son suffers from ADHD - aged 32. He has serious challenges completing tasks, initiating tasks, and following through. He is an exceptional worker, a graduate of Americorps, with some college to his credit. He is frustrated with his current job - Amazon contract package delivery - and wants very much to secure better working conditions and benefits. We have identified multiple opportunities to pursue but he will not engage and follow through. We sense a fear of new experiences and the need to maintain a "safe" space. We would very much like to work with a professional who can guide him with his job search and other challenges.

[STEM_Dad]

Welcome to the forum.

I think it's awesome that you are so supportive for your son. My own parents have always been supportive and encouraging.

TL;DR

• Change is hard (and often harder with ADHD)

• Good support is crucial (e.g. support structure, medication, counseling/therapy, coaching)

• Joining a support community like this can be very helpful

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I've experienced similar struggles to the ones you've listed for you son. Fear of changing (even if the present situation is uncomfortable); difficulties with initiating tasks, completing tasks, and following through.

Identifying opportunities for him is very helpful, but unless he can picture himself in those roles, his fear of the unknown will cause too much resistance.

He also likely struggles with "Imposter Syndrome", which is a mindset that makes it hard to accept oneself as qualified or competent, despite being so. Your son having Americorps experience and having completed some college are great for his qualifications, and ought to help him to stand out from the crowd of other job applicants. To offset Imposter Syndrome, he needs to focus on his positives (skills, natural talents, experience, education, interests, etc.) and he might need help from a counselor or ADHD coach.

• What did he study in college? What are his interests? What motivates him in his work? Has he had any previous work experience that he found rewarding (perhaps in Americorps, in school, or in a previous job)?

A career coach, life coach &/or ADHD coach might be invaluable to help him get started. (If a career or life coach, they have to be familiar enough with ADHD to understand the level of resistance to change that it can cause.)

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If your son has an official ADHD diagnosis, is he taking ADHD medication? If so, does his medication seem to be adequately effective for him?

ADHD often has comorbidities such as anxiety and/or depression. These sometimes need medication to treat, but counseling or therapy can also be very beneficial. (The therapist or counselor needs to be very familiar with ADHD and the struggles it brings, or else it won't be a good experience.)

Joining a support group can also be very helpful. We all need community (it's a basic human need), and finding a community of ADHD peers would probably be best for him. Encourage him to join this one (the anonymity helped me to be able to share difficult things more easily).

• If he is an avid Facebook user, then I would also recommend the Men's ADHD Support Group. It is a private Facebook group, which I learned about and joined within the last two months. The community there is as welcoming and helpful as here. (Though membership is not anonymous to other members, group members can post anonymously.) facebook.com/groups/mensadh...

I have a long commute, and have found that downloading ADHD podcasts to my phone to listen to on the road is much better for me than listening to the radio. There are many good ADHD podcasts. The ones that I regularly listen to are: ADHD reWired, ADHD Essentials, and Hacking Your ADHD.

• In a recent episode of ADHD Essentials, the host Brendan Mahan was very down to earth about struggles in his life that caused him to back off on how much he could commit to doing his podcast. It was very relatable for me, since I went through personal struggles which made me back of on things I felt I should be doing. (I had felt a lot of shame, but the perspective that even a podcaster whom I consider to be "successful" who is in a supportive environment can have similar struggles. So, my own struggles as a recently divorced single dad who had to move far away from my support system of friends and family... well, my struggles seem to have been unavoidable.)

Change is hard, but it can be done. Change can be rewarding. (e.g. I have no regrets moving for my kids' sake. My relationship with them has never been better. I've also gotten a better job, but it took some time. I had to take a different job that didn't meet my needs for a while, before getting my current one.)