Stuck in the vicious cycle

[TiffSun89]

hello everyone,

I found this group after googling a bunch of my ADHD symptoms and I really hope I can find someone who has some suggestions or can even relate to me. I was diagnosed with ADHD when I was 30. Before my diagnosis, I was diagnosed with depression and anxiety which I hear is quite common for women to be diagnosed with before finding out it’s actually from the ADHD. Anyways, I’ve been struggling most of my life when it comes to my mental health as well as binge eating. I have never been able to keep a job for longer than a year and I am seriously losing hope. I had to apply for unemployment insurance so I could afford to start taking Vyvanse (50mg) which I have been on for about 2 months now. I am also taking Prozac 40 mg. I really feel like I ak just never going to be good enough to live a fulfilling life. I am still depressed and still binge eat. I am probably the unhealthiest and unhappiest I have been in years. Is there any hope? I have zero motivation to even write in my journal anymore. Or even listen to music.

[curlydachshunds]

Prozac was ineffective for me. I think it numbed me out, but it did not alleviate any depressive symptoms for me. I had to try many different medication‘s, even the medication‘s I’m on now with my Peri menopausal symptoms-waking up in the morning, getting out of bed, is a struggle. Be brutally honest about how you feel during your med checks/psychiatrist appointments/ doctors appointments whoever is there to help try. be patient until you find a med that will work. I wish you all the best. Use all the strength you can muster to advocate for yourself.

[TiffSun89 in reply to curlydachshunds]

Thank you. I’m just worried to try a different medication because the Vyvanse is also to help treat my binge eating and I’ve been struggling to lose weight my whole life and don’t want to give up you know?

[curlydachshunds in reply to TiffSun89]

Heal the mind, the body will follow? When I’m feeling like myself, the personality I remember, I have so much energy I’m just moving through the world differently my relationship with exercise and food also changes.

[STEM_Dad in reply to TiffSun89]

You mentioned that you've been in Vyvanse for two months. Have you noticed any changes with your ADHD symptoms since then. (Also, has it been helping you to reduce how much you experience binge eating?)

• You might need an increase, to make it more effective. Or, you might need to try a different ADHD medication.

Also, does the Prozac seem to help with the depression? If it's not helping, then be sure to tell your doctor.

Depression can be complex. Identifying the contributing factors can take time and the help of both medical and mental health professionals (i.e doctor and psychiatrist).

• ADHD can definitely be a factor in depression, especially when it is untreated or undertreated.

~~~~~

Depression can certainly trigger binge eating. I was diagnosed with mild depression last winter, and before I started taking an antidepressant (an SSRI), I was binge eating for a few months

I am not normally prone to binge eating, but before I started on ADHD medication, I had a major sweet tooth...I found it very hard to resist donuts, chocolate, or cookies if they were available to me.

Food cravings can be a dopamine-seeking behavior. Dopamine-seeking behaviors can be the body's attempts to meet a dopamine deficiency.

• Something that you can try is mindful eating. I've heard it suggested on a podcast. The idea is to slow down while eating to be aware of the enjoyment you get from the taste and texture of each bite. (I've only tried this a few times, so I can't attest to how effective it is to curb binge eating. It did slow me down to appreciate what I was eating, instead of rushing through a meal or snack.)

Other dopamine-seeking behaviors which might also help to alleviate some of the feelings of depression include exercise and socializing (spending time with friends and loved ones). I know that it can be hard to do these things when you don't feel like it. My ADHD and depression are both well controlled, but I still have regular noticeable struggles with both, and I neglect to do these basic things that I know can help me.

[TiffSun89 in reply to STEM_Dad]

Thank you for all of the advice I really appreciate it! I finally have a doctors appointment tomorrow so will be discussing my meds with her.

The Vyvanse definitely helps with my binge eating but I still feel quite depressed and sad despite still taking the Prozac. I have energy in the morning after I take my Vy but it seems to decline around noon and that’s when the blues really kick in even after I’ve taken my lunch dose of Prozac.

[Buttercup31]

I took up to 70 mg of Vyvanse for 1.5 years and it did nothing to help my binge eating ( and very little to help my ADHD). I recently switched to Adderall 40mg) which is working wonders for my ADHD symptoms. As a result, my binge eating practically disappeared. I lost more than 10 pounds without even trying. It seems that it was a symtom of my under-treated ADHD and not a separate problem. (I also take med for depression and anxiety, but now that I. Getting the ADHD under control I am going to work with my doc to try getting off of those).

Good luck. I have been in that hopeless place and know how awful it is. Please don't give up, there is a combo of meds and support that will work for you.

[TiffSun89 in reply to Buttercup31]

Thanks so much. This kinda makes me wanna talk to my doctor about switching too now that I know there are other options to help with my binge eating. Mind if I ask which antidepressants you’re on?

[Buttercup31 in reply to TiffSun89]

Sure. Currently I take 225 mg of Venlaxafine and 300 mg of Bupropion. I have been on meds for more than 25 years and have taken Prozac, Sertraline, and Concerta (as well as probably a few more than I don't remember).

[TiffSun89 in reply to Buttercup31]

And you feel like those together help manage your ADHD symptoms and anxiety?

[Knitting20projects]

I would probably first assess your response, if any, to the Vyvanse. It sounds like you have not improved on it. I would probably make improving your ADHD management the first priority. If you haven’t responded to what I think is the max dose (?) of vyvanse, I would ask your doctor for a different stimulant trial. I would make it crystal clear to them about your level of functioning, down to hygiene, tidiness or clutter of home, ability to do basic everyday living skills, etc, on your current dose of Vyvanse. It’s possible your ADHD could need more than 1 medication, even, but first I would probably ask for help finding a stimulant that is effective for you. Hopefully there is one. After your ADHD is appropriately treated with medication, I would then have them reassess your level of depression and see what to do there. I say this because sometimes people have much improved depression symptoms once ADHD is properly treated with medication. Not everyone does & you may need a different antidepressant. Of course, waiting to change your Prozac is assuming you do not have severe depression, thoughts of self harm, etc. If you have those, you need to go to the ER ASAP or contact your doctor or the crisis hotline in Canada. Sending you best wishes. There should be hope for improvement!

[empleat]

I can't relate to absolutely anyone, to like 99.999% ppl and even to my own kind, as gifted have very idiosyncratic personalities... Everyone only let me down in life...

I have all this even worse than you and i know how you feel. It is ok to feel this way. If you want to fix your life even for you there is still hope: listen to David Goggins can't Hurt Me (will change your life trust me)... Worst is not having any motivation or drive, if you have no meaning of life... Without motivation you can start doing something first, but with depression it is harder...

Seems like you are suffering a lot you can use it. No one can promise you anything and you will have to suffer if you want to get better, you can believe me it is possible, even if it may be near-impossible (not 100% times ofc. but)... If you have nothing to lose that can be really powerful...

Binge eating: L M A O, i was abused with pills and got obese and still couldn't fully lose my weight. I couldn't even find breakfasts 8 years and i am bored of food to death even scouting in front of fridge and can't decide minutes what to eat and it gives me headaches... It is like torture i tried over 2000+ times and failed to find breakfast, i don't have mood for anything as first food in the morning and i have to wait 2-3 hours before i wake up. I am sleepy at day from sleep pills and suffer from dysania and hypnogogia and cfs, chronic pain... I eaten like 0.5 of ice cream in one sitting, or i get hungry after 5 minutes after lunch don't eat during day and then overeating before bed... Try to eat low Glycemic index fruits and try to work on your anxiety, overeating cannot be fixed without fixing these emotions and part is from microbiome in your gut, try to fix that! It can be overwhelming, i can't still even work on certain problems at all, i can try and i won't get any work done and i don't have where to resume from... I can't do it consistently due to my executive dysfunctions..

But know you can do more than you think, you can try and fail that's ok...

First thing i would not take prozac that is SSRI, there much better Anti-Depressants today!

I Am so unhappy, i suffer from depression and existential boredom, i am unhappiest person that ever lived... I Am holly i don't care about anything at this point... Not sure why i am ever writing this... from anxiety... If you knew how bad i have it you would probably still laugh... I have already completely destroyed life at 20s... Can't even see have millions of dots flashing in my eyes (there is no cure), destroyed nerves/spine, brain damaged... Existentially depressed to oblivion...

Stuck in vicious cycle my whole life, it is catch22 to do A, i would be already be able to do B, to do C i would be already able to do B and to do A I would have to be already able to do A... I have extreme ADHD and executive dysfunction my whole life, i never could do what i don't find interesting/entertaining/important, i never learned anything in school was just day dreaming and never did homeworks, even 5 minutes was like stinging pain in my brain, doing something so useless it was actually physically hurting me...

I suffer from OCPD, OCD, PURE O, intrusive thoughts (which i cured myself, almost don't have at all, depends which ones), emotional dysregulation, and anxiety every second just to exist is like rocks in my chests and knives in head and on chest and dyspnea kinda... Suffer from insomnia years, i am not even sure i sleep these days somedays, can't get even 8 hours sleep, as it usually takes me 3h+ to fall sleep and then my mother wakes me up when she goes to work... I Am sleep deprived years... Or radiator was making noises in winter, i thought it will be kill me...

This is not even 0.00000001% of what i had to suffer alone...

Only thing that really helped me was David Goggins Can't Hurt Me, all other things are shit...

Anyways i am demented trash who lost 50+ IQ points, because no one would help me... In this word everyone is on their own shirt, no one is going to save you... So what is ever point of helping other ppl, when if you dying no one is here to help you? And we are all alone...

At least i am turning my life and getting work done, i procrastinated 8 years on things it takes 30 minutes normal ppl, ruminated even for hours and i have indescribable anxiety... I can't even mediate i can't focus (brain fog) i am like in warzone every day every second. I have incurable blurred vision, 24/7 headaches like rock 8 years and i actually got better all alone thanks to this book, while i didn't yet to get use even 90% of its content properly...

I am annoyed by moronic society which dose ppl with pills for ADHD instead giving them support and helping to adjust their environment... IT is so ubeliveably stupid... Same for depressed, there could be children dying and they would give you pills and now you can't be depressed about it because you took pills, so you are faulty... Psychiatry is area of retards...