Lately been feeling very stuck in life because of ADHD and seems there is nothing I can do. It isn't like there is a cure for ADHD. Been stuck in the same job for 4 years now and seems because of my ADHD I'm going to be stuck there. Finally working my way up and getting promoted since I'm going to be stuck there but don't think I can work my way up to GM because of my low self esteem and ADHD. Wish I could get a more enjoyable job. I really want to be a comic book artist as geeky as that sounds, but why bother when I have ADHD. Even if I do become a good comic book artist people won't care especially once they find out I have ADHD. It's to the point I haven't even drawn anything in a long time because I just don't see the point of it even if it makes me happy. I feel like my creativity just doesn't matter because I have ADHD. I want to get unstuck. I'm tired of the same routine everyday but seems to be nothing I can do. Sorry if I'm sounding depressing but would like to break out of this rut I'm in but seems to be no way out.
Stuck : Lately been feeling very stuck... - CHADD's Adult ADH...
Stuck
*All (ok, many) comic book artists have ADHD. So freaking many creatives and creative adjacent ppl do. Not only that but lots and lots of comic book/graphic novel creatives also have a day job. It’s not one or the other. If you went to a con and stood in the middle of the floor with a clipboard and took a survey, so so many people all the way from the Marvel actors to the artists alley to the cosplayers would have ADHD or ASD or some kind of something going on. Neurodiverse folx are awesome.
*Edited this to be slightly less blunt 😊
I really doubt all creative and geeky types are ADHD and or autistic. I've noticed from being creative myself that creative people tend to be misunderstood that it's easy to label them as such when really they aren't but then again that's what I told myself about my ex BF only to find out that he actually was autistic. Still if there are so many people with ADHD making comic books and going to comic cons then why do people care about comic books. Surely they wouldn't care at all about comics books if they knew they were made by people with ADHD. Hardly anyone cares about people with ADHD.
I’m really sorry you’re going through this. I hope things turn around for you.
People care about the comic books BECAUSE some of the best creativity comes from neurodivergent minds like those of us with ADHD. Our storylines and artistic personality comes out in the comics so well. We think outside the box as one of our “super powers”. Another one is to have a variety of interests and basically become red mages, where we are jacks/janes of all trades. I wave my geek flag high.
I like comic books as well. Clearly for people to care about comic books as much as they do the people who make them can't possibly be ADHD because my personal experience has taught me that not very many people care about those with ADHD.
Ignorance is bliss it seems. They may not know that many of the artists and other people who think outside the box are ADHD but the like the content. In the education field, I get praised for some aspects of my ADHD it then written up for others. When I explained that it was part of my adhd, they disregarded it, and treated me as if I were four saying that I can’t say things that I said out of impulse. They really don’t understand us.Even the union said there shouldn’t have been a problem.
I am currently in a boli investigation with one of my past employers because the papers that say my issues all say stuff like “does not pay attention to body language” and “ananxious about x”. Of course I do! I have adhd and anxiety!
I actually found out I had ADHD because other comic artists I was spending time with were open about their ADHD and all of a sudden the penny just dropped. It’s so freaking awesome to be around people who get it, I can’t even be mad that I didn’t get diagnosed until my late 40s 😁 Of course I still have all my issues and problems but that’s another story …
Hi BunnyJen90
I can totally relate to that I was stuck in a job for 17 years it was torture but I didn’t have an opportunity to go any higher . So well done ! I left after buying a new house 18 months ago and best thing ever done it was hell no one spoke and when they did you could still hear a pin drop the people weren’t that nice either . I’ve only been for one assessment so waiting on another referral and hoping I can get something to help my symptoms. I am in another job but it’s not what I want either just doing it as it’s money and I don’t have to face many people . You can do it and believe yourself and look into what you really want as life is short . Do be to hard on yourself . Are you on any medication for ADHD ? Having ADHD won’t stop you if you want it go get it 😊. Good luck 🤞
I’ve learned that although generally we like organization, we tend to thrive in chaos in some ways too. We don’t like to be restricted, which is when we tend to feel trapped. I work in special education because I go with the flow so well, but when I have nothing to do, I make something, which isn’t always a good thing. 😅
Sorry to learn that you feel so stuck. I've felt that way a number of times in my career.
It took me a couple of decades to learn a couple of simple truths:
First, if you are underappreciated, if you feel that you are taken for granted, it is probably time to move on. Second, most employers don't reward loyalty with promotions or raises...they try to get the most out of their employees.
Work organizations are usually very bureaucratic, and the people who often rise in the ranks are the ones who fit the bureaucratic mold, not necessarily the ones who have the best leadership skills or technical skills for their trade.
That doesn't mean that we can't rise in the ranks. I've known plenty of people who have ADHD (or very much seemed to have ADHD) who had risen to management and other high positions. I've known people who have (or seemed to have) ASD who were the cream of the crop in their specialties.
I've also known lots and lots of neurotypical people who were in the lower levels at every job I worked at, who were lacking any ambition to move on, or griped a lot about not advancing.
It's true that we are often judged according to our ADHD struggles, more than our ADHD gifts.
People with ADHD are more likely to be creative and innovative than our neurotypical peers. Many of us also have gifts of empathy and passion. We tend to have a lot of untapped potential, because we struggle the things that neurotypical often do with less struggle... like keeping to rigid timetables, and filling out forms and reports that nobody seems to care to read.
I listened to an ADHD podcast Q&A episode the other day, and a caller who was talented and passionate about teaching and providing training to teachers was sharing that he almost got fired for not completing one form ...he did complete it, but not by a time that was arbitrarily set. And it had nothing to do with the actual work or purpose of the organization. He wanted to do more of the core work, and simplify the paperwork. (I'm a computer guy... There are ways to simplify and speed up the reporting process with templates and other timesaving measures, rather than taking the work producers away from their productivity.)
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I loved comics in my first couple of decades on planet Earth. I had dreams of becoming a comic writer & illustrator, and wish that I kept practicing making art. I thought I had to grow up, but I realize that I missed out on a lot of potential enjoyment. (Later on, I development a desire to be a writer, a novelist. I've spent years and years developing ideas, but not much actually writing, yet.)
I'm at a point where I have realized that I might have less time ahead of me than behind. So, after kicking around the idea for the last 15 years to start a website, I've bought a domain name, so I can start posting the stories that I've wanted to write for the last 20+ years.
I say, don't wait. Be the artist that you are. If you enjoy drawing comics, then do it because you enjoy it. If you turn that into a second income, great! If you can grow the into your career, that's fantastic! But you should do it because it fulfills you, because you find enjoyment in it, because it lets you be more you.
“It's true that we are often judged according to our ADHD struggles, more than our ADHD gifts.”
Best… quote… EVER!
Please pm me this podcast. Also, my partner also has adhd, and although he knows he’s not the best picture artist, he does have a talent in writing and soft skills. He’s been thinking about getting his writing out there as you do. We would like to learn more about that too. Your comments are always my favorite. I agree that the OP should see if they can pursue making comics, but not quit their day job… but that day job may need to be changed.
I've given up on finding other day job. I was rejected countless times before getting the job I have now and still seem to get rejected. Maybe getting back into drawing when not working will help some but I've decided if I do get back into drawing not showing my artwork to anyone as I'm pretty sure no one will care for my artwork.
These days, even a cartoonist drawing stick figures can develop a following. youtube.com/@ChrisHallbeck
No matter your particular style, there can be an audience. You wouldn't need to impress everyone with your work, but I'm sure that it would appeal to some people.
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I think that the vast majority of people on Earth share a common trait: we are each our own worst critic. (Narcissists seem to be the exception, but they make up about 1%.)
True artist tend to be their own worst critics me included. Still I don't think I can get a following because of ADHD. Once people start to realize I have ADHD they will no longer care for my art.
Then do t tell people you have adhd. People don’t promote their conditions regularly. I do t know people have asd unless they say something. Heck, it’s impolite to ask a lady if she’s pregnant and it’s more obvious than having adhd even. Do t ask, don’t tell.
Good point.
A general recommendation is not to tell people that you have ADHD, unless you have a particular need to do so (such as with a school administration to work out school accomodations, or with human resources at one's employer to enable you to ask for work accommodations).
Many people do not disclose their ADHD.
I choose to do so, and I've had a good response so far. Several colleagues have opened up to me about their ADHD (if diagnosed), or relate to me because of their own struggles (if they are not diagnosed, but seem to have ADHD). I tell people mainly because I want to help reduce the stigma of ADHD, also because I want others who might have undiagnosed adult ADHD to know that it's okay to consider getting a diagnosis (at any age), and also because I want my current to understand that I have challenges that affect my work performance sometimes (but I don't let. ADHD affect my work quality).
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I don't recommend to anyone to disclose their ADHD if they are not comfortable doing so and if they do not want to do so. It's a very personal choice, and potentially very impactful, because once you make the information public, you can't hide it away again.
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At least in the USA, an ADHD diagnosis is private information which is protected by stringent laws and regulations (HIPAA). Nobody else has a right to your personal medical information, outside of what's necessary to provide you treatment (i.e. healthcare).
Similarly, FERPA laws project such private information in education, and disability laws such as ADA protect such rights to privacy in the workplace and other public areas of life.
No one needs to know you have ADHD, unless you want them to know.
True but I think people can somehow just tell with me that I have ADHD. I still am thinking it might be best not to share my artwork for fear of others not caring about it. Still I would like a more enjoyable job but why even bother when no one cares to hire me because of ADHD. I'll never amount to much because of ADHD anyway and even if I do no one will care.
While I've never outright thought "I'll never amount to much", I know that I've felt that way many times.
But I was also brought up by parents who did their best to teach me to believe that I'm capable of doing whatever I want to do. They had their own struggles, and at times they also each felt defeated. They hid some of their struggles, but were open and honest about others. Their encouragement has always stuck with me, but their example is what really taught me the lesson. They may have failed a lot in life...but they didn't give up on life. They accepted the reality of the situation in the present, but didn't stop looking forward to the future.
(My parents both display ADHD traits, but I would say that in severity they are both mild. But for decades my Dad seemed to have moderate ADHD. Many people in the outside didn't notice much, but I saw them up close and personal...and I saw a lot of my own ADHD traits in them. Mine are definitely moderate, and were edging into severe impairment at the time I got diagnosed, because of the double-whammy of ADHD and severe anxiety I had at the time.)
I know that people are some evidence of my ADHD. My time management issues are very evident. But, I seem to be well liked, and trusted enough for them to keep coming back to me to help them with their technology issues. (I do tech support and other IT work. I'm a Jack-of-all-trades in IT work. I don't specialize in anything particular, but I know enough about everything to be the intermediary between end users and the IT specialists...who often lack connection with the end users, and sometimes lack social skills to work with non-techies.)
Although sometimes I think I will never amount to much, other times I was determined to. I tried to become a teacher, and although finished mag a cum laude, couldn’t pass student teaching because of my adhd. Many times I feel like a failure, but I still feel good about helping people learn.
I think the difference is that you have a good support group with your family. My family is the source of my ptsd and so toxic that both have lawsuits on my partner and me even though they created the issues. My partner won one case already, but it’s been more trauma that adhd will focus on the negatives with. My parents even don’t acknowledge but make fun of my “abc disorders” and say they “have P S T D” too. It’s really disheartening. Best thing to do is to recreate boundaries and lose contact again.
If you don't mind me asking, what type of work or what work field do you WANT to be working in? If you could do whatever you want, what would it be?
your perception is biased.
Structure your life to draw as much as possible, pay somebody if you can, to help you at home and win free time.
Take your days off feom work.
Work on Saturdays if it saves tou time during week.
Move in with a roomate if you need money, somebody who also needs time foe their art.
Work at night at your job if you have to.
But do it. Your art has to live.
My perception is not biased it is based on my actual life experience being diagnosed as ADHD at a young age. I guess you don't understand because you were never taken away from your friends as a kid to be put in special classes. I know I should move forward but I just can't. As for my art I'll draw but no one shall ever see my art work because once they find out I have ADHD they just won't care anymore. I'd really like to be a comic book artist but I guess some people aren't meant to have goals in life as they will never amount to anything no matter what they do.
I don't understand the logic where people won't be interested in your comic books because you have adhd? If the comic book is good, no one cares about the adhd.
Not from my experience like I said from my experience no one cares about those with ADHD if they are willing to take a kid with ADHD away from their friends and put them in special classes. So obviously no one will care about my comic book either which is why I'll never show it to anyone. Don't see your logic that as long as my comic book is good it will sale and people will like it despite my ADHD.
Honestly, I would buy it BECAUSE of your adhd. Many people have it and could relate to your experiences. Remember, you don’t have to please everyone. There is a market for people to do it though. Even if you don’t do an actual comic book, there are many websites that do comics too. Did you know Stan Lee had adhd? He is one of the biggest comic book writers of the world. My partner says Stan lee would wake his artists and writers in the middle of the night with his ideas.
here is an article explaining it. Hope links are allowed here
inc.com/sean-wise/5-things-...
I really doubt Stan Lee has ADHD or else he wouldn't of been so famous. And maybe you would buy my artwork but I'm sure most wouldn't.
Please do your research. He actually was in a video documentary about it.
I have heard they did a documentary for what would of been his 100th birthday on disney plus but have yet to see it. I have thought about buying a disney plus subscription but I also hear the price is going up. Still as famous as he was I find it hard to believe he could of had ADHD since most people don't care about those with ADHD.
Life is overwhelming, I don't know how to survive in this world, and I can't afford my medication even when I have a job, I can't even figure out how to prioritize what bills to pay when I can't pay them all, I'm afraid I'll be living on the streets or in my car that has no A/C because my lease is up in two weeks and no one will rent to me when I can't afford to pay a security deposit especially with a terrible credit score that I didn't deserve, but no one will take no for an answer when I tell them not to get us in more debt that we can't pay. I'm in a serious pit of trouble and all I want to do is go home, because no one can live with me when I can't figure out what to do next. I know where my home is, but I don't want to fail God, because I know the world around me is so lost and I am so tired of fighting with it. I can't conform because God has called me to try and be a leader for change, but no one will follow someone who has no sense of direction, so I feel like such a failure and when people who even claim to love me and genuinely try to help me live in this world give up on me and belittle me all I want is for someone to understand, but as much as they read about me they can't do it for me or make me understand what to do next.
What does any of this have to do with me being stuck in life? Do you have the wrong post? 😕
I think Jasperdad1 wanted to create a new post instead of replying to your post BunnyJen90 . Adhd inattentiveness for the win lol.
Jasperdad1 I feel you. My family is homeless atm too. Most people don’t understand our woes. Have you tried calling 988? They can help you be ok in the moment. Also, calling 211 is a helpful resource for bill help. You can also contact community mental health (cmh) to get some long term help. Make sure to ask for someone with adhd experience.
It sounds like you are having a really rough time. Your post might get buried in this thread, though. If you copy and paste this into a new post, you might get more feedback. Hang in there 💜
You are lucky to have the best possible “way out” for someone with ADHD- a creative talent!!! All you need to is eliminate the negative self talk and start drawing! Then make sure you have people in your life who support and encourage you!
I’m not discounting your experience, and as an artist with ADHD I fully understand the challenges. But if you find time to make your art it may develop into something concrete, and at the very least it will be fulfilling, and a reprieve from your job, and make you feel better about your life.
Still I'm not sharing my artwork with anyone because once they realize I have ADHD they will not care.
I believe this is wildly inaccurate, but appreciate that you may have previously experienced trauma as a result of disclosing your ADHD. I hope you get help at some point so that you will be able to move past it.
BunnyJen90 Your feelings are real, and they are valid. I wish I could make things better for you, but so I can do is try to be encouraging and understanding. Feeling stuck and like your life is going nowhere certainly is a very difficult way to be.
All of us on this forum, you and me and a bunch of other people we have something in common with, we come here to be seen and heard and understood. We are looking for connection and compassion, maybe answers to our questions or information that might help us.
I'll admit, it really sucks to have ADHD. And for anyone who has autism, OCD, anxiety, depression...it really sucks to struggle from those, too. I'm putting aside the labels for a minute, and addressing the struggles. People can be misjudged by having a label be put on them.
What happened to you in school, getting taken away from your friends and put into another class, sounds like it was traumatic. Struggling for a long time to find a job and then getting stuck at a job that you don't enjoy is rough, and that in itself can hurt your self-esteem.
I didn't have the same experience in school. I did move a few times, which was hard. I never had very many friends, but I was somehow okay with that most of the time. But like you, I got stuck at jobs a few times, and it definitely hurts to feel like you have no other options.
Even without an ADHD diagnosis, people can treat you differently if you struggle with attention, or whatever you struggle with. That's because people very be very judgemental sometimes.
But I've been fortunate enough to find people every now and again who are encouraging, who are accepting even when I struggle again and again, and repeat the same mistakes.
I hope that you're able to meet people like that, who will just accept you for being you, for being human and not for any labels or assumptions.
I hope to still see you here on the forum. I know it's helped me out to have peers to talk to here who can relate.
Maybe That's what I need is people who understand for once. been trying to find those people and think I'm having some luck with this Facebook group I'm in.
It's very important to find people who can understand what you've been through. We all need meaningful social connections.I'm glad that you're having some luck with that group. This group is still here for you, too.
I live in another country and I don't know if I understood your post well but I wanted to understand. Do you feel that when you learn that you have ADHD people think you are just made up or because you are not competent? I have ADHD and I could never stop at a job because I got bored quickly and wanted to change areas to draw and your statement left me worried and confused.
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