DISCLAIMER: worst pain is not even because me, but because i had to watch so many other ppl suffer... That's why i am so indignated... Tho most ppl are pretty cancer and 2 faced hypocrites...
I never could focus on homeworks, as i was so fascinated by PC games a kid and i couldn't focus on anything i didn't find important/interesting/entertaining. I never literally did them maybe like 5 hours of total time i was in school, or even less. After 5 minute i got strong headaches like needles stinging in my brain, it was soooooooo painful, i started drawing on my mothers arm and resisting it! ALso because school tired the shit out of me, i hate every second, it was so primitive and i felt there so uncomfortable and sleepy because there are 30 ppl in unventilated room and so uncomfortable in jeans and uncomfortable desk... And if i wanted to ask why something is like that, i couldn't and they just teach you random nosense without context, that is not how you learn... It is literally joke, how low it is... So after school i was so tired i needed to spend every second playing pc games to even survive. 140IQs say school should be literally persecuted... I said same thing in parallel without knowing about it LMAO! I didn't even finish high school, because i head from everyone the didn't learn anything there are it was so painful to go there, travel in bus and go to mountain and they wanted us learn some details about machines in workshop where was sun leaking from rooftop in uncomfortable suit, i got always D, didn't remember a thing... And IT was so primitive i didnt just go there and got kicked out, because i wanted to learn real shit and it was drawn out and boring and mechanistic and uncreative... And tons of idiotic subject which were waste of time for what i wanted to learn... I am not 27, last 7 years have chronic pain. I procrastinated 7 years on things that take 30 minutes normal pp, it is painful like barbed wires in brain. Don't have even money to pay caretaker and all other services like NGO i tried were useless... I even tried daily to start working even hours and couldn't, or if i did after 8 hours trying i failed after 5 minutes and was rest of the day (4 hours in pain)... There is no one even that can help me have no family/friends and live in most degenerate country on the earth and whole multiverse... We don't have even basic food and healthcare, chatgpt is 10 times more empathethic than doctors. We leave homeless ppl on streets dying and people walk across them... Or sell homeless person on wheelchair broken phone...But 99.9% are really insensitive and nothing but barbars, except they are are really weak and stab you in the back, don't have even courage to face anyone head on...
Anyways i am working David Goggins can't hurt me, but i have literally blurred vision and millions of dots blinking that it creates illusion that objects i am looking at are shaking... And i have like 1000 wires tightened around whole head and face and like strings ungle from my face and i have spider webs, my life is unsufferable and i already was at all doctors neurologists/opthalmologists and on MR, CT, X-ray and they can't do shit... I have already destroyed life at my 20s and i don't even care at this point really... Anyways it took me even 7 years to just starting beating procrastination and bedtime procrastination, even trying go to bed over 500 times from 11 am to 3-8am... Everyday, i live with narcissistic mother also, i was slave to EDD in my own body years and my whole family always looked donw to me and told me: they they told me years ago to do something. Never had any empathy for me, only judged me and treated me worse than things... Like i am not kidding i was in 10/10 years... I can now deal with almost anything... Still i am so messed i have over 30 mental disorders... Everyone ADHD, OE, HSP, High IQ ppl all betrayed me just because they felt treatened and tried to push me down, bully me, or worse... And no one ever wanted to help me, yet ppl laughed at me, i was in 10/10 chronic pain. Ppl are literally horseflies, even dogs have more empathy... So when you complain about normal ppl, realize it is relative. Ppl can be very cruel to others unlike them... ALl ppl are hypocrites ultimately... Read nietzsche... Everyone wants to power, morals are just way for weak ppl to hold higher men down... Nietzsche was right on so many things... Most ppl are literally like dog eat dog... And you will be weak to see that, it is ok, we didn't evolve to see the truth, Truth is not to be equated with good, it is mostly negative i would say (except in some cases)...
I dont want even anything from you, i am just venting because it helps me. I don't respect anyone under 160IQ, there is not even possible anyone understands single thing i say under this treshold... Everyone in my whole life resisted me , but multiple 160IQs told me i am extremely intelligent, i will never literally let be gaslighted again by anyone... You are literally like bots, not even real being, you are so simplistic, it is derealizing...
I know i am in hell probably, because no one ever would understand and i could never really explain anyone what i was through even i am in right... You will probably tell me this clique get help or something.LOL I helped myself and i am thriving now, there is nothing wrong to help yourself, but except if you are literally in 10/10 pain and no one comes to save you, or no one wants help and yet they are offensive, bullying for no reason, that is warped... But again 99.9% ppl are not even ppl to me, but like unevolved animals still, i am not living for those... You will burn your own spite like snakes you are...
While i don't even try to accuse anyone here, i just say how it is, it is what it is... Again literally just venting have to lifehack my brain and habits step by step... I jsut started working basically still after 7 years of hell... It is tho so insane watch like ppl on chronic pain sub-reddit, or ADHD complain whole day, but they can do the same to others without any reservations. I posted normal post (yes actually i did these before i was tortured that i lost a way to speak)... ANd it got +100 upvotes, then ppl got mad on me that i don't accept their solutions, so you are supposed to accept solutions even if they don't help you and would actually harm you? That is preposterous, ppl are literally so egoistic they get mad if they advice doesn't simply work for someone... That's how egoistic and insecure they are. We live in age of infestation of weak ppl - David Goggins... Only insecure ppl bully others so... you don't get it, i was even bullied by mod on ADHD discord, just asking legit questions about to do program etc. ppl are literally like on another plane of existence, or on HSP discord, when i didnt say literally anything offensive and had normal converation, called me 100 labels and put intentions to my mouth and it is same for all gifted. It is just jealousy nothing else, ppl which can't write in their own blood they want yours, they are vultures nothing more... Because i got gaslighted that it is all me, when literally even when i was polite didn't say anything offensive i was getting so much blind hate. Also most ppl are really insecure and oversensitive and they get offended really easily, which is not my responsibility, i have right to voice my opinion... And all very high IQs argree with. Ppl use logic to justify their pre-existent believes and logical fallacies and have cognitive biases, as we evolved to sell our truth to other ppl not to find out the truth, because it doesn't help us survive. Most ppl again literally are so incredibly thick, it is derealizing. "there is no defense to stupidity" - Nietzsche... I never won a debate with single stupid person ever, isn't it absurd? So you see, but i won with ppl that are even smarter than me soooooo......... I get attacked for no reason and bullied either way and judged, so why would i respect you? YOu are so thick you don't even see it is, do you know how annoying it is if you are so extremely intelligent, 99.9% ppl are literally like wild animals to you and can't understand anything you say and can only stupidly laugh, or get really mean for no reason... Most ppl complain and attack other ppl on which they lack...
Realized have so much fucking to do and i have to calm myself before bed, i will enjoy your resistance.
"resistance is tribute to genius" - Oscar Wilde
"great minds always encountered resistance from mediocre minds" - Albert Einstein