Ok, so I have tried to word this properly but struggled, so I will give examples instead….if I know there’s an Amazon package coming today I feel like I should stay home, or if I have a doctors appointment tomorrow I can’t make any other plans. I would say “oh I can’t do that call on Wednesday because I have an appointment” (even though in reality I can do the call before or after my appointment). It sounds so silly but it’s like my brain can only handle one responsibility at a time. And I’m an old grown a** adult! lol
I assume this is an adhd thing, but maybe it’s an anxiety thing.
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Amiwrong
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Hello Amiwrong,You are correct it is an ADHD thing. There are tons of reels out there about it. I'm not sure what it's born of because the ADHD brain loves lots of stuff.
I think there is Anxiety built in like "I don't want to forget/mess up/mis-plan because this thing is important"
It feels like an over compensation for past events that were forgotten or mis-planned or were late to.
The hardest part is to allow for One Big Thing a day to = productive.
One thing per day isn't bad, but society says it is. Society says you have to or should be doing more. No you don't. If you plan around one thing per day and can be kind to yourself when society says "you should do more!" You are all set.
All that to say, you're in good company. If you ever need support for your One Thing days, come here and we'll root you on😀
BLC89 thank you. It’s easy to forget that society’s norms is where the guilt stems from. It’s true that there’s a fear I will forget say a doctor’s appointment, despite multiple reminders set on my phone. I just don’t know how typical people do it! I’m envious lol
Good answer I have forgotten so many appointments so i fixate on the one coming up. It doesn't stop me from trying to squeeze in one more thing. I love it when I make plans a week out and when the day comes I don't feel like doing it.
the answer is yes. Some of us will act that way. I actually set aside double the traveling time for appts. My brother will pace his room for 6 hours waiting for the time to leave for an appt.
Oh wow, that’s a long time pacing. But thinking about it, if I’m not leaving my house because I have an appointment at 1:00 and so I’m waiting around for the time to leave, I’m essentially doing the same thing.
Why do you set aside double the travel time? Is it to ensure you won’t miss it or be late? Often I have to set extra time because I’m bound to get lost, take a right instead of a left, or take the first turn off instead of the second because I didn’t understand what the gps was telling me lol. Happens a lot. And I wonder why I’m always exhausted lol.
Sometimes I get lost, but it’s usually due to accidents and construction. Even if those happen, I’m on time, people worry though that I’m half an hour early sometimes.
I found that since menopause I’m more the type that is a hot mess and even with my worrying and overthinking about time I still manage to be rushed. This changed happened at menopause.
Hi Amiwrong, you are not alone! I'm sitting here at 9 AM drinking coffee and starting to "get ready" because at 11 I have to leave to meet my friend for lunch. I'll pick her up at 11:30, and I won't relax until I've found a parking spot downtown near the restaurant and am safely sitting in a booth. When I get home hours later, I'll be mentally exhausted and done for the day. Absolutely ADHD, and I make plans knowing this about myself. Fortunately, I'm retired now, so I'm not feeling society's guilt trip as much when I accommodate myself to the quirks of neurodiversity.
I love that last sentence! Omg if I had to park downtown I’d have to leave even earlier! Downtown is my no go zone. Parking makes me so anxious, not to mention the overwhelm driving past the business of the buildings, one way streets, just too much! My brain hurts thinking about it 😂
These comments are making me feel so much better about all these extras I feel I have to do in life when not everyone else does.
I was thinking, could it be more than fear of missing or being late? I ask because I think I do the same with bigger things in life too. For example, I want to buy a house which were kind of trying to save for, but until I get the house everything else is on hold. Yes, it’s partly the money, but it’s also some kind of mind set. Like I can’t do one thing until the other thing is done, even if I’m not proactive with completing the first thing. I’m not sure if I’m being clear lol.
Here’s an example, I’m going on an overnight trip with my partner. We don’t live together but I go to his place once or twice a week. We planned the trip last Thursday to leave today, so in my mind I won’t go to his house to visit because we are taking this trip (which is a big deal for me to leave the house, etc). It’s not even like the planning part is a big deal. He’s doing everything I just have to pack an overnight bag (which still takes me a very long time but still). Maybe this isn’t a good example either lol.
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Advice please 
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