I have a hard time cleaning and taking care of household responsibilities and my own self care. I start to get chores under control and then I panic, which leads to me freezing with anxiety. The only way I know how to break that cycle is to play video games, but then that nasty hyperfocus kicks in and 6 hours go by.
I hope one day i can get over this. I try to do it in bursts, so I don't get overwhelmed, and I have barred myself from online games that don't have the ability to pause so I can just stand up and do and not warp into "just one more round" rinse and repeat. It kinda helps, but it still doesn't get rid of this weird and irrational feeling of fear? I think its because I have trouble problem solving? or is it me being scared to panic? I don't really know.
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aWorriedOne
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I hear you on that one! I used to work cleaning houses professionally, and the only way I could get through it was by listening to podcasts, or playing upbeat pop songs that usually keep me dancing and moving along. It can make cleaning even fun (eventually). Another trick I do is to do more than one chore at a time, each in short bursts. Hope it helps!
I get the same anxiety when I think about reviewing my budget!
There are high rates of anxiety among people with ADHD and ADHD makes it hard for us to emotionally regulate ourselves (manage our feelings and moods and impulses).
That anxiety is perfect for a therapist. Find someone who does CBT or who is super practical. And they will design exercises-experiments for you ... where you slide into the anxiety ... back off slightly ... write down exactly what you're feeling ... stretch the amount of time you can do the cleaning without the anxiety.
Does that anxiety hit you during other tasks, like at work? Or just other situations?
The attacks do hit me during other things, it definitely doesn't just affect my cleaning. I have a bit of trouble regulating feeling scared, i feel like it is a step up from anxiety and more so cold sweat throbbing chest kind of fear. Unfortunately, a therapist isn't within my budget at this moment, but after I get what i need done, i for sure plan on looking into one! I do practice CBT on my own, which does seem to help me breathe through the moment, but not always successful.
I appreciate your tips, I will try them out as I go~
I felt like you were speaking what's in my brain right now.
I completely relate. Video games are my only way I can switch off right now too. I am also a hoarder and the flat has gotten bad, especially since my husband has been ill. Now I am chasing my tail trying not to burn out or get too anxious to clean the daily bits let alone the rest of the flat, as well as caring for him.
I don't have anything constructive sadly, aside from saying before and after photos have been a good motivation tool for me to see my progress. I don't know if that may help you at all.
Otherwise I just wanted to let you know I hear you.
Thank you for sharing that with me. The place I live at right now is actually a hoarding home, I am trying to help my parents get their environment as liveable as I can before I am too far away to help again. It is quite overwhelming when the anxiety of a never ending mess sets in. But it isn't truly never ending, that is just that pesky anxiety making it seem so.
I hope your husband gets better and I have faith you'll be able to meet the goals you want to make!
KC Davis Struggle Care!!!!! She has so many great ideas on her website, Tik Tok (apparently—I don’t use TT), podcast, and even I think addresses hoarding, other specific circumstances and solutions. No judgment, just kindness and advice for coping 💕💕💕
Hi there. I feel the same. Though it’s phone use rather than video games for me. Are you medicated? I’m hoping to start meds after my appointment next week and trying not to get carried away thinking about what wonders they’ll do for me!!
I came across this planner (see photo) and have used myself it a number of times before with success. It really focuses you in on 3 goals for the day and prompts you to break down the task into steps. It relieves your brain of deciding on the next step and also removes the overwhelm as there’s only 3 jobs. You can park everything else til another day/ til later.
I just made my own version of this in a Microsoft Word document and printed off a stack of them.
Good luck!
ADHD task planning sheet - breaking down top 3 daily tasks into steps
Yes, you are definitely not alone. Sometimes I take "brain breaks" where I set a timer (a time timer where I can visually reference my time remaining), and that hyperfocus time gets to be guilt free. When I structure it as a positive instead of a negative, I feel more motivated to get back to previous productivity.
I was in CBT for years, but recently started working with an ADHD coach. My coach understands ADHD, because she has it, too, and the amount of support and insight I've gotten in my short time with her (weekly for two months) has been unparalleled.
I also listen to KC Davis' Struggle Care podcast on my way to work, and that gets me excited about trying new things and understanding the way my brain works better.
All different things work for different people. I'm proud of you for reaching out and taking initiative- that takes a lot of mental energy, too.
I learned that all mental health providers have to have a webpage of their views and specialties. I kept finding myself with crap counselors who didn’t understand my adhd, then was told I could look them up by name and certification, and they would have a webpage.after a couple hours, I found one that understands my adhd, anxiety And PTSD. She actually has adhd, so it’s interesting conversations altogether, but it’s big that she actually gets it.
I'd love to one day be able to have an ADHD coach, but financially, I am a bit restricted. My next step, i think, is to pay for a doctor's appointment to look into medicating finally.
I hate the overprocessing and anxiety that comes with adhd. Mine comes when I’m at work and socializing. I get the video games being a coping mechanism. I’m a huge Zelda fan and have been bingeing on the new one. Something that helps my partner is setting a timer. Relying on items to tell you that you are done helps us not feel like we are making the decision when the time comes. 30 minutes cleaning each day can help. We also have a plan each Saturday morning (or Sunday if events happen Saturday) to do deep cleaning and plan not by time, but by task. My next weekend task will be cleaning the fridge. Last weekend, it was dusting the basement (my dad had so much down there that we wrote in it like on cars). Picking one deep cleaning task allows you to feel the urgency of getting it done so you can “earn” your video game time or another reward.
my partner says play… loud… music. It breaks the cycle for him. I like to play idle games that I get going, then get house work done while waiting to be able to collect again. With my zelda game for example, it takes 0 minutes for dragons to respawn their parts, so I sit on them while doing other tasks, setting 5 minute timers.
I am the same so what helps me are the games on Flylady cleaning groups. A caller chooses a game. 6x10 for example. Then she posts a number every 10 minutes. The players comment what they will do for 10 minutes. Then the caller calls another number, etc. Until all 6 numbers have been called. It's very motivating and I get so much more done. These groups are private so you have to be added but typically the admins. add the same day. Let me know if you are interested.
I understand. There are times when that happens to me too. That's when I make a detailed (very detailed) list. It helps me focus. Hope you find what works for you.
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