ADHD knocked me out at birth. It left me with low self esteem, severed depression, and incredible feelings of isolation. My parents were not enough. My dad had ADD. And so, friendships were pick and choose. Either it was friends of my parent's kids or a collection of people who were not necessarily unpopular, but maybe different in some way.
The course of my life has sort of been trying to wake up from a deep slumber, feeling like a wide awake drunk, in that I see everything that is going on but felt unprepared and unable to speak how I feel.
A lot of people, may say "Duh. Why did You let this happen?!". Not so simple, and that in itself put me in even a deeper depression. Through exercise and much effort I have grown. Many times, people do not see it but for me it is great strides.
So what about friendship? From years of customer service it is simple - empathy. It does not cost much, but surprising how few even in customer service engage in it. So here goes:
1). Empathy. I absolutely set the line of demarcation of friendship today with this. Most people if I mention ADHD are either A). Silent, B) In Denial/Bully Me Over It While Pretending To Be Tough Love. Silence is not okay, because that just means one does not care. Denial is the worst. Here are some things that really get on my bad side:
1. Oh. I had that. My niece had that. She is doing great. Have You tried being more positive, less selfish, and making new friends? Gee. I know that, and you are belittling me and blaming me. That is called bullying.
2. Well. Other people have problems. Yes. I know that. Their problems are not likely like mine.
When I think of friendship of the past, try remembering whether there were any happy and positive memories with that person. If not, do not feel badly that you are no longer friends.
It is getting more difficult in today's fast paced World to make friends, but all it takes is empathy. It is so easy.
"You have ADHD. That must be a challenge. Now, I see that. I have seen lot of progress. You see more positive. Keep up the hard work".
It makes me sound when I mention the A Word (Not the swear word) and hear "I do not know You well enough". Yes. You do, and it did not cost You much to show a little empathy. You made me feel positive and You kept me from rambling on, getting negative, and an argument. Maybe it is too much expect, but I would rather have no friends then people who do not value and respect me.