Hi everyone been reading allot of your posts trying to find answers....so I thought I would write my story for my 1st post.
I was diagnosed with combined ADHD back in November at the age of 45.....this is something I never really knew I had as I just thought it was my personality. My diagnosis came from me going back and forth to my gp as I've never been able to sleep properly as my mind will never switch off, after being prescribed every sleeping tablet under the sun with none of them working I was referred to the mental health team......this is where my journey began for me.
My 1st consultation I was prescribed medication and was used pretty much as a test subject for months, well that's what it felt like.
Sorry I'm going off track.
I'm struggling so bad with everything and now I realise I've been struggling for years and have just hid it all away continuing to wear my pretend masks to make everyone think I was just me.....this wasn't the case.
I work and work and work for 12 to 15 hours a day trying to keep going as I can't stop.....I have the worst addictive personality gambling, taking drugs,befriending people,starting new jobs and ventures....I have gone from 16stone to 13stone in 6 months from not eating properly as I don't have the time and stopped doing anything enjoyable for myself.
The worse thing is I feel worthless, a failure, don't love myself, empty inside and don't even know what love is any more.....I have kept everything inside and couldn't talk to anyone close to me as just made me feel even more of a failure and a let down.....I find helping others makes me feel better in myself so always looking to befriend to help them and help me at the same time......I also hate anyone thinking bad of me or talking about me need everyone to like me and it eats me up inside if people don't.
trying to find support and help with understanding everything is so difficult....I know there is no quick fix and solutions out there, but I just feel lost and don't know where to start to find me again.
I had a mini break down few weeks ago and have been diagnosed with depression and anxiety aswrll as my ADHD....my wife family have been awesome and I've opened up to them more in last 3 weeks than I have in years....yes its a weight off my shoulders but I still feel the same....I start a male group in September for focus and confidence not sure if will help bit need to try everything.....that's as far as the support as gone and just stuck in a rut.
sorry for the long post
Well this is me everyone.....thanks for taking the time to listen to me