Good news and thank you for all your input.

[newdayadd]

I can't find out where to write this with my first post because all I saw there was how to reply to myself. Anyway,

Thank you to all who reached out. Sharing this experience really helps. I've been doing better because I finally got diagnosed! I was talking to an intern who was filling in because my regular intern was on medical leave, and after we talked a bit she said something like, "Have you thought about ADHD, maybe you have it?" I was so surprised and elated.

She consulted with the pyschiatrist and they started me on 20mg of Vyvanse. The first day I took it I felt a little different, and then the second and third day I actually could feel improvement in my mental state! At my next appointment, the psych. stopped in to talk to me. He said, "Well good, that was fast" and I said not really, it took six years. I did not go on about it because I didn't want to rock the boat. I am so grateful that the intern listened to me and gave it some thought.

All the other medical help I got was prescriptions for antidepressants, anti-anxiety and sleep aids. They were treating some of the symptoms but not looking at the cause of my constant struggles. Anyway, I'm up to 50 mg of Vyvanse now and feeling well, even though I've found mistakes I was making and have to do some cleanup. I am very grateful for my therapist who supported me through all this for years.

Good luck to all of you and be good to yourself. Take it day by day, and remember the bad days are temporary. You might feel better the next day or the next hour.

[MutantMom]

Good we have such people in Medical profession,