We all go through life learn skills, abilities, practices, and habits. For many of us with ADHD we tend to have a more difficult time with this which means a lack of tools in our toolbox.
I challenge everyone who is on medication and off medication to figure out one “tool” they want to add into their toolbox a month. When I say “tool” I am referring to anything that helps you live a healthier life. A few basic ideas are below.
- I’m stressed at work and it makes my evening at home a hot mess.
Take 5 minutes every 2-3 hours at work and ask yourself “am I stressed?” What physical things do I do when I am stressed? Clench my jaw, bounce my leg, or get really quiet.
To address this, take a quick deep breath and count to 10. Let it out and go back to work. Repeat as necessary.
- I don’t do well communicating with my SO about complex stuff and it frustrates them.
Tell them you need 2-3 minutes to write down your thoughts.
Set an alarm and put some earbuds in while writing.
Instead of giving the note to them read it to them so they understand these are your words. You and them will both feel more validated and heard. Now that you have a base you can calmly continue the conversation for an agreed length of time. Set that timer, hug it out after and leave the emotions at the table after the hug.
- I take on too much in a day and stress myself out.
Get a notepad small but not too small and draw 4 lines landscape.
Write down 4 different tasks you NEED to do in the day. Once you’ve done one, cross it off and do that for all 4 tasks. Keep doing this on a new page every time you complete 4 tasks.
At the end of the day review your accomplishments and tell yourself that you did an amazing job out loud.
Let’s hear some ideas you guys have!
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michael682
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I feel like I struggle with multiple things and in my mind my thoughts of my struggles will move from one thing to another never really problem solving it. How can I keep my mind from wandering so much? How do I stay on task. It’s hard for me to do when it’s something I need to do but don’t feel like doing. Couple examples going to work, I drive Uber Lyft for a living and there are time I don’t feel like driving. Paperwork, mail, bills, finances, record keeping for taxes or figuring out what my monthly budget is all this things require step consistency like a system and I don’t have a system for it I just get overwhelmed and when it becomes to the point where it’s do or die I do it like pay the bill before my electric get shut off
I wanna quote something you just typed out which is amazing! It’s the first step when you try to change your habits!
“s all these things require step consistency like a system and I don’t have a system for it I just get overwhelmed”
Look at that, you are acknowledging the fact that ALL of these things... not just the things you listed but ALL OF LIFE requires multiple steps to complete a task and develop a system.
I’m so happy that you realize that your current system is not working. It takes a lot to admit it and I’m sure you feel so lost and defeated because of it. But you get to build a system from the bottom up now!
Bills,
Spend 10 minutes a week on 2 different bills. That’s 2 days you stop everything, set a timer (the timer is key!) pay the bill, schedule it, organize it, shred it. Whatever it is that needs to be done. Do this each week and do it for two separate bills each time that’s 6 bills a month. If you have more, do 3 bills a week at 10 minutes each at 3 days. The timer is to tell your brain “hey I can put this adult stuff away and go have fun” it also allows you to separate the frustration in your day. Timer goes off, verbally say “good job on focusing today! Let’s put all this stress aside and move on with our good day!”
Driving,
Figure out a schedule and stick with it.
Same as above, drive for 6 hrs a day for x days a week. Set an alarm and verbally tell yourself that you did a good job and can relax now.
You need a consistent schedule.
Do you use a calendar in your phone, on the fridge, wall? What have you found is the best way to see your schedule each day?
Google calendar emails me my weekly and daily snapshot of what my schedule looks like. It helps a lot because I can wake up, see the email notifications and it says “work 6:30am-3pm, therapy 4pm-5pm, don’t forget eggs 6pm, and so on. I write it down physically on paper that stays on my desk, I take a photo of it to refer to through out the day and set alarms if I reply feel like it’s a bad day.
At the end of the day I like writing down and reflecting on all the things I got done!
Don’t ever drag yourself down for the things you didn’t do, just add it to the next day where it fits.
Let me know your thoughts on all this.
My mind could go on forever with advice but I don’t wanna overwhelm you. Feel free to ask for clarification or to expand on these! Everyone is unique and requires different things to get through a day
I feel you! I lost my W2 that was mauled to me a month ago. It turned into a big ordeal to get a copy because my employer switched pay systems and I locked my old acc. Anyway! I finally got it back and scanned it to my google drive and a thumb drive.
Side tip!
If you have an I phone you can go into notes and create a new note, tap the camera and select “scan documents”
It will take a clean picture of papers and you can save them as a PDF or whatever you need!
I use it for business cards, my W2, any random stuff I find that I will need in the future or wanna save! Check it out or get an app on your phone that does this. It will save you a lot of time!
Update me on how stuff goes for you this month. I love hearing the different tactics people use on a daily basis
I didn’t know I can scan documents in my iPhone notes. That may be very helpful for me. I installed a scanner app but I forget about it a lot and that’s just one more place I’d have to remember to go in vs notes which I’m trying to use again. I tried Evernote but has not stuck. I will update you in a month to tell you how I’m doing with this stuff. And I got a schedule kinda made working on it. Follow though is key and so is making a schedule that flows right for me. Getting there
It’s going good, I made it a thing that I open and process my mail once a week. If I have bills and the money to pay it I pay it and toss that payed bill I. The garbage. I’m so glad you said you trash your payed bill. I was trying to hang on to them and I realized I do need to. Less is best for me. Yeah, so right know I’ve been committed to sitting at my desk and tackling paper crap
I understand completely. When you are not interested in what you are doing it's always harder to do. It may help to find someone who can get you organized at first. Or take one thing at a time and get organized with that, then go to the next. Personally I needed help to get started because it took me so long to do one thing. Or maybe you can figure out a way to make it interesting or maybe giving yourself some type of reward when you achieve a goal, daydream and maybe you will find a solution. I know it's hard. for me too. That's normal for most of us ADHDers. It is possible!
I tend to have a major issue with procrastination and I'd like to start implementing tools that help me nip that in the bud. The main issue is that it's important things that I need to do like renew my professional certification (I nearly got fired for that). It's hard for me to keep a calendar with reminders because I never remember to put things in the calendar in the first place. However, I do have a medication reminder set for every day and I'm going to try and use that reminder to stop and think for a few minutes about things I need to accomplish. Hopefully, I can start putting things in during that small break.
I totally feel you! I have a note pad that sits on the kitchen table and every night I make a brain dump list of everything I need to do before and after work. Cut the grass, add date night in my calendar, etc. maybe work on something like that and get in the habit of just writing things down before your day gets busy. If you don’t do them don’t worry. Realize that the first step is getting everything down on the note pad and in front of your eyes! I put my wallet and glasses on top of the List so every morning I have to pass by it and look at it or interact with it before going out the door.
If you think of something mid day try sending yourself an email with it written in there, text yourself, make an alarm with the subject as the task. Once you’ve done that continue with your day and feel at ease knowing you’ve handled it as best as possible in the moment and you will finish taking care of it after this other important task.
These are all different things I’ve tried, some work and some didn’t. But now I know what process works best for me.
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