Support

[Challenged]

I feel like I just can’t anymore - can’t anything. I feel defeated, overwhelmed, overloaded, worried, disorganized, drained, sad and fuzzy brained. Just everything.

I don’t know what to do anymore. I am the primary breadwinner for my family but I have got to take a break from work and get myself together. I need my medication changed or something. I feel like I have fallen in a hole and I am sinking. My husband is distantly supportive but worried that I will lose my job. I have been with the same company for many years - many different roles throughout those years. I have a preteen daughter with adhd and an autoimmune disorder and All I do is take care of everyone and everything else but me.

I admit it. I am broken and I need support.

[Hidden]

I’m so sorry that you’re feeling so overwhelmed. We all feel that way at one time or another. Many people who are caring are here to give you support. You need to have hope. I believe that can come once you start to figure out what help you need. I don’t know your circumstances. Please, don’t give up on feeling better, and having a better life. Please keep the group updated. There are many smart men and women here who can share how they’ve dealt with different issues. Let the group know what you are struggling with in particular!

[Hidden]

I apologize! I couldn’t see your full post. My power was out for a short time.

[Wolfe837422]

We never notice it building until there’s so much stress we’re drowning in it. I don’t have anything profound or even a fix-it. All I can offer is hard-earned advice. Pour it all out into a journal, whether it’s on your phone or by notebook and pen. Every irritation, every anger, every resentment, every fear, and all of the things in between. Keeping it inside will tear you apart in a way that no one can save you from. Pour the weight into the journal and let it go.

I’d tell you to go out somewhere and scream to release it all, but that’s a privilege even I don’t have. Just know that while you are struggling in the darkness and too tired to fight, we are sitting with you and keeping you company until you feel ready to stand again.

[Missmarlo]

I relate to you on every level. I just want to give up. I am completely hyper focused on my adhd, and I just don’t see how thing will get better…but the best thing I can do when I feel this overwhelmed with life is remind myself that “This too shall pass. It’s a bad time…not a bad life”. Hang in there. Sending you all of my love, compassion and support.

[Hominid711]

OK, so this is what you are going to do - and don't mind the authoritarian tone (I'm a doctor 😱):

1. You call your GP and make an urgent appointment. Tell them how you feel and if they don't give you an urgent appointment tell them how THAT makes you feel. I don't know how bad you are but if you have thoughts of not wanting to be here anymore, of have had those recently, if you've become more careless what happens to you, have started drinking or drugs or escalating the use of them, tell him/her! Make sure they know you have kids, are overwhelmed by demands as the main breadwinner AND having a family and they understand the potential but very possible fall out of the way you feel on your dependents and your finances.

2. Call your psychiatrist if you have one. Do the same as above. 2. can replace 1.

Get a sicknote! Unless work is therapeutic and it's family that freaks you out.

In that case also book a holiday away from them in the not too distant future.

Get some meds, either short term or long term anxiolytics/antidepressants or both or something to sleep if you can't sleep anymore.

Whatever you and your doctor feel and agree you need and want and whatever gets you back on track ASAP (and the goal is first and foremost to FEEL better: Calmer, in control, capable, optimistic, yourself at your best.

All else, talking therapy etc, you can tackle after that first call of any time after that or at the same time, but drugs get you where you really want to be right now the quickest.

Then you lean back, take a deep breath and pat yourself on the shoulder for having done what was needed most and having done it all by yourself! Well done you!!

And get that sicknote! You will feel instant relief! Get the drugs so they are in the house and wait a day or two if you want to see how you feel having made that phone call and now having time to breathe.

Etc etc.

Not to worry! You will be better. You've BEEN better many times abd even by default, so you know exactly who the real you is.

And look at your achievements! Wow! You wouldn't have managed all that if you weren't usually OK.

You get there. Just a matter of a short time. Short term anxiolytics can bridge the time until the "real pills" kick in. They work within the hour.

And all this is TOTALLY LEGITIMATE, even more so totally necessary, and you are doing it for yourself AND your family! Or despite your family ;^)

Treat yourself like you would your child. Imagine yourself sat in a chair rocking your young child-self. Wouldn't you want to make sure she feels better quickly?

There!

Chin up and thumbs up!

Now where's the phone?

[wtfadhd in reply to Hominid711]

Hey Challenged, almost 2 years ago i was in a similar situation and i did exactly what Hominid711 suggested. At first, i felt sooo guilty being off work but i took time and filled my emotional bank account, restructured my life, recharged, let my brain cool off bc it was so very inflamed, and im back in the game of life stronger than ever!

thanks for great post Hominid711!!!!

[Tim_Othy]

I hope that you know that you are heard and your pain is felt. This group gives great advice and we understand the difficulties and challenges of ADHD and how much more difficult it can make life. Your post touched my heart and your pain is similar to what I and others here have and do confront. I would encourage you to get the professionals involved. Hominid has an awesome protocol to address these issues. You have carried these burdens for too long by yourself. Allow others to help lift your burden and lighten your load. There is hope, thank you for sharing, we are here for you.