I want to run away.: Is that the... - CHADD's Adult ADH...

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I want to run away.

randyj302 profile image
17 Replies

Is that the solution? I want to be somewhere else, someone else, doing something else. Then again, I'm happy just being where I am, who I am, doing what I'm doing. Does this make sense? I feel like a total mess and then I feel like everything around me is turbulent while I'm steady. Am I exercising ultimate patience or is life passing me by? Overall, recently, I haven't been happy. Is this just a part of life? I don't know what I want anymore. I need positive people in my life. I need to feel good about myself again on a regular basis. Talk to me please. Bills are behind, wife is not happy, house projects are piling up, I'm in charge of generating my income, and, lately, no income is being generated. Do I keep going? I love life but I feel like it doesn't love me back. I'm sorry to always be so negative. Is this the right forum to write like I'm writing? Am I adding to the problem? I'll stop now. .........

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randyj302
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17 Replies
Gabesmom594 profile image
Gabesmom594

I'm sorry you're going through such a difficult time right now. I can relate to everything you wrote about. I'm in a very similar situation and I have no clue how to solve the problem. I wish I had some answers for you. You mentioned your wife isn't happy and I'm curious, does she have ADHD as well? Also does your ADHD cause a lot of friction in the marriage? I know mine does. My house is always a disaster and my husband just thinks it doesn't bother me or I would take care of it. Try not to get too discouraged.

randyj302 profile image
randyj302 in reply toGabesmom594

Gabesmom594, my wife does not have an ADHD/ADD diagnosis, My ADHD causes a lot of friction in our marriage. Thank you for the support.

Faithfull profile image
Faithfull

I feel like I'm putting others in depression moaning about meself but honest I'm at the end of the tunnel and there ain't no light x

randyj302 profile image
randyj302 in reply toFaithfull

Faithfull, ... same here.

cjnolet profile image
cjnolet

It sounds to me like you are spending so much time in the past and future that you already HAVE run away.

Money? Fame? Success? What the fuck are these things? Do you think people want money because money itself has intrinsic value? Who the fuck came up with these “rules of reality”? Most people I know who are homeless (and I know quite a few) chose to be that way and they live in more happiness than many people who society’s rules have crowned “successful”. Yet they are treated as if scum of the earth. I’m not saying to be homeless, I’m simply saying don’t live by bullshit rules. Make your own. In fact it was Steve Jobs who said not to forgot that the people who made the rules you live by were no smarter than you.

Your reality boils down to your perceptions. As we live moment-to-moment, it’s completely impossible for us to ever know what’s in store for either us OR our loved ones at any future moment. Our past is also very much noisy with perceptions and limited detail and this often fools us into thinking things that were never true but that seemed real because our perceptions at the time made it that way. Ever notice how the one thing that never changes about your memories of your childhood were the perceptions you had AS a child? They are, and always will be, locked in time- stationary.

Embrace each moment that you are given the opportunity to exist for. Make yourself appreciate them- you know, being alive, being healthy, having what you have, knowing who and what you know. Approach the world from a place of appreciation and happiness and approach your future from a place of open acceptance and willingness to improve upon. I guarantee you that your life will change. In fact, I’d dare say that you could be anything you want to allow yourself to dream up- be it homeless and free or a CEO, responsible for many others and not quite so free.

I know your life will change because only when you live this way (only in the NOW) can you ever actually live. This is mindfulness.

randyj302 profile image
randyj302 in reply tocjnolet

cjnolet, thank you for the reply.

Rickytshirt profile image
Rickytshirt

You're so not alone. Maybe focus on one thing to improve rather than getting overwhelmed by the big picture.

randyj302 profile image
randyj302 in reply toRickytshirt

Rickytshirt, thank you for the reply.

happy_kitty profile image
happy_kitty

I totally feel you. I’m currently struggling desperately with a really important class, while I’m constantly fighting with my mom. I also had to put my engagement on hold because I was so busy with everything else that I kept putting my fiancé on the back burner. It’s ok to share your struggle with other people, and most of the time it really helps, so thanks for sharing. You are not alone.

kickinchicken profile image
kickinchicken in reply tohappy_kitty

happy_kitty,

You NAILED it! Totally Agree.

"The Mind is its Own Place

and in its self can make a Heaven of Hell, a Hell of Heaven."

Paradise Lost. Milton.

kickinchicken profile image
kickinchicken

Why do we make life so complicated? The grass will always be greener on the other side of the fence.

It's an illusion, as you probably know.

I call running away "running in a circle." Regardless of the reason (s) for running away, it will be waiting for you wherever you land.

Facing the reason of feeling an urge to flee is the only way i've found to resolve problems

Sometimes it works and sometimes it does not.

Regardless of the outcome, it's better than being stuck on a Merry-go-Round. IMHO.

Lovinit profile image
Lovinit

Why don’t you buck up put the Pete to the metal and work. Work as many hrs you can get and just suck it up so you guys can get back on your feet again. I believe it’s more common these days that the women and the man bring in income. If she’s not working why shouldn’t she?

I have struggle my whole life and my home is about to go into foreclosure but at the last minute I called the mortgage company because I realized I’m not making as much as I did before and my expenses are more than what I’m making so the sent me a mortgage assistance application to hopefully modify my current loan and I just pick up a third job. I’m still not working enough hrs and I need to kick my but because when I’m not at my hourly job I can be doing uber driving but I got lazy and this last year I went through a major life change and it was tuff on me. I made it through and things are better so now I really got to get moving because I don’t want to lose my home and the life I have now.

Lovinit profile image
Lovinit

Randy - I want to apologize for my post earlier. It was very insensitive. I meant for it to be positive and motivating. One of the reasons I joined this site was because I was struggling in my life and I needed support. I should have been more supportive to you. I am sorry

Sincerely,

Wendy

randyj302 profile image
randyj302 in reply toLovinit

you don't need to second guess yourself. Your post shows me that you are also in a really similar situation as far as your financial insecurity. I appreciate your push for a "go get em'" attitude. no need for apologies. I didn't take your post negatively.

Lovinit profile image
Lovinit

Thank you. So can you give us an update on your progress?

randyj302 profile image
randyj302

Lovinit, I still want to run away. At the time I wrote this post, I was experiencing some of the worst anxiety I have ever had. Luckily, it subsided slightly. I've kept pressing on- there is really no other choice. Since then, I've had some successes but I am still riddled with constant anxiety, low self image, and some other feelings that keep me depressed. I don't know why but I've since stopped smoking pot and I hope that contributes to some progress in the right direction.

Savsays profile image
Savsays

I can relate to every word you wrote.

I too, often feel a strong urge to run away from my life, but the depression fatigue keeps me glued to the sofa or bed.

Getting away for a short time on a vacation helps me. It can be a big trip to Hawaii or a camping trip at the closest state park, but I need to get away from my day to day stressors to reset and evaluate what problems are chemical and what problems are situational.

Also, when I feel really low, I try to remember that the feeling won’t last forever, and that I don’t need to make any important decisions that will last forever during those times.

Hope this might help a little. Your post has helped me.

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