How do I start?

[anotheradhdhead]

I am unbelievably overwhelmed by everything and can't do much, It's straining my marriage and stressing me out at my job of 20yrs.

[99cents]

It's a road and a process.

I am in my 40s, been at my job and in this marriage about 10y, Male. Unofficial diagnosis so far from my counselor. I've been doing counseling for several months.

CBT and emotions journals have helped a lot. My counselor has worked with me on emotional awareness, emotions journal, CBT emotion coping exercises like accepting emotions and situations without judging, etc.

To be clear, i have learned i can't address problems or try new things if I can't take a step back and look at what is happening and what I'm doing without a ton of self criticism. Otherwise emotions take over and problem solving is impossible. I'm practicing things like reflecting on what I felt, how i responded, and the effects, and what I can do different the next time.

Accepting that what I've been doing isn't working, hadn't been for years, has been a good first step. My counselor has helped me see alternatives that I was dubious about at first. Also, importantly, my counselor isn't emotionally involved in the situations but is invested in my success.

My counselor has assigned me and my wife some reading. I've also reached out to family and friends with ADHD for ideas and support.

[Louisianawoman in reply to 99cents]

I too have just started CBT and have read through the first chapter of what the training will entail. The studies on this type of training have indicated that along with medication and regular practice of the techniques taught, if sustained, will create the ability for individuals facing ADD as adults to do a lot better for themselves than with medication alone. The reason this treatment option and the manual I’m reading, speaks to me, is that whoever has design CBT for this specific affliction, does understand what we go through. And I think that when we are less stressed about past failures and are receiving proper guidance to help ourselves, we become better people in that our mood improves and once you know you were doing some thing makes it feel like you are moving forward in life which will relieve anxiety and stress I can hurt relationships.

[notanotter]

It can be overwhelming. We have to try one thing at a time! It’s the only way darn it.

If you have not, please contact a therapist or a spiritual leader to walk with you on this journey.