I have an appointment with a new GP this afternoon. I’m planning to ask her to put me on a stimulant for my untreated adhd, and now I’m getting more and more nervous about what she might ask me and what I’ll say. It’s not that it’s hard to talk about my adhd, but it is kind of hard to summarize it. I’ve been on a wait list to see a therapist who specializes in women with adhd, but I decided to ask the GP about it since I already have an appointment with her. I’ve gone for so long without meds and it’s just so hard. Now that I’m finally ready to try something, it’s at the point I feel kind of desperate.
Plus, I have four kids, so I’m accustomed to getting a lot of “well, you have four kids under 10” comments that aren’t at all helpful.
Don’t know whether I’m hoping for advice or just empathy. Thanks for letting me share either way!
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anothermother
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Good luck! I hear your fear and discouragement, but at the end of the day, even if you find your GP to be unsympathetic or not knowledgeable in ADHD, that's still useful information that will bring you one step closer to treatment. And that's huge. I know for me, before meds it was so hard to keep up the focus and motivation to exhaust every avenue -- but you're doing it! And that will ultimately get you where you need to be.
I don't know if this message is catching you before your appointment, but if yes, one idea is to take a look at a self-assessment form (like this one additudemag.com/self-test-a... ) just to start reflecting on how the impairment is showing up for you in your life, so you can speak with confidence about what you're experiencing and make sure the doctor take your concerns seriously. Really hoping this appointment brings you some relief!
Great suggestion! I’ve done those assessments before and I happened to do the additude mag one for women before my appointment. I got a 72/72 🤦🏼♀️ Turns out, my gp doesn’t prescribe for adhd (not shocked), but she referred me to the mental health group within my healthcare network, so maybe I’ll get an appointment sooner rather than later.
Now that I’m open to meds, I’m actually really excited to see what my life might be like if I wasn’t always struggling much.
Sidenote: Why is it so hard to admit I’m struggling? When I’m on, I’m reeeaaalllly on, but the sad reality seems to be those days are few and far between.
Hahaha I mean, ADHD's hallmark is consistent inconsistency right? It really messes with your self-image and perception of reality. For me, I would listen to someone else's ADHD experience and be like, omfg THAT IS ME. Then turn around and try to describe it to a practitioner and feel like I was grasping at straws. Internally I was messing myself up saying "Well, if I'm sometimes able to do the thing, shouldn't I just be trying harder??"
It doesn't help that doctors who don't get ADHD jump to attribute it to whatever else is going on around. "Your job's ok." "You're paying your bills." "You're just asking too much of yourself, everyone struggles." After the pain and confusion of making it to adulthood undiagnosed, it was so, so hard to shut that out. But the more I've practiced the better I've gotten.
Glad to hear she was able to offer you another path forward! Got my fingers crossed treatment comes together for you soon!
Thanks! You’re absolutely right—it’s so easy to relate to those in our tribe, but so easy to second guess and feel like maybe I am just lazy or don’t have enough will power. But you know when you’re talking to someone who gets it, and I have hope that I’ll find someone who can help soon. Being open to asking for help has been a huge step, so in a way, I feel like I’ve already overcome the biggest hurdle.
jilllewis84 and anothermother you two are so on to it! wow! reading your words feels like grace and a hug and I'm on the verge of tears.
I finally jumped through all the hoops and have an official diagnosis. My GP will prescribe for ADHD, but only after a psychologist diagnosis. So in two days I go back to my GP and we will pick a medicine to start on.
jilllewis84, I echo you exactly "Now that I’m open to meds, I’m actually really excited to see what my life might be like if I wasn’t always struggling much."
So happy for you! It’s crazy to think of all the time and energy I’ve spent beating myself up for struggling so much when there are proven methods to help make everyday life easier for folks like us. I mean, I’ve learned many life hacks that are helpful, but none of the lifestyle habits and tricks are enough; they help so things aren’t even worse but they really don’t make things much better. Like, yes, I feel better when I eat well, exercise and get enough sleep but I still struggle to motivate myself, prioritize the stuff I need to do, think clearly or avoid hyper focusing on stuff that’s unimportant… I really hope you find the right med situation to feel some improvement <3
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Where do I go to get a diagnosis?
Anxiety?
burnout apparently 
Relationship struggle with neurotypical wife. 
Undiagnosed by therapist on a quest to undiagnose anyone with ADHD
