I need help to function

[whadoido]

Hi I am a 26 year old woman and I would like help with communication and accountability. I have such a hard time with time. It seems that it always gets away from me so I am late to everything and it has gotten me fire and affects how I am viewed. I also have a hard time communicating what I am truly capable of. I often overstretch my self without realizing it and by the time I figure it out it's too late. I get obsessed over small inefficiencies so much so that I can't get anything done. Lastly because I don't realize when I am doing the things above , I don't communicate when I can't do something until it is too late. I am so tired of failing at the easiest things. Can someone help me? I was diagnosed last year.

[BlessedLady]

Are you taking medication for your ADHD ?

[whadoido in reply to BlessedLady]

Yes I am already on medication. It helps me be less distracted and fucused. I don't feel the need to constantly be looking things up instead of doing what I am supposed to be doing.

[BlessedLady in reply to whadoido]

Are you also seeing a psychologist, counselor, therapist,etc ? They can help you learn ways to cope and better manage your time. It usually takes time to find one that is the right fit for you. It also takes time to change the your behavior. Be patient with yourself.

[whadoido in reply to BlessedLady]

It does nothing for my hyper fixation when the topic is something close to what I am supposed to be doing

[BlessedLady in reply to whadoido]

Have you talked to your doctor about another medication or increasing the dosage of your current one ?

[T4ra]

I feel you. And once the panic sets in it’s like your brain freezes. Sorry I don’t have a solutions but please know your not alone. It mostly affects my relationships, as I can’t communicate when it’s really important. Hang in there, and keep telling yourself “it’s ok to ask for help!” 🥰

[Inarticulate]

It’s a hard one, as ironically it will take some time and effort to put it in place. Below is what works for me.

First off, accept your reality. Organised external events will always take you longer to do than for anyone else so account for that.

For lateness, I put everything on my phone calendar. But because I know I will struggle with it - I put every appointment in 15-30 (plus travel) mins early, include the appointment and travel back. 15 mins if quick, 30 mins for every thing that I have to drive to which is 30mins or more.

I always tell myself the truth, so the appointment might be going to the dr, at 10am and in my calendar at 9:15 I put ‘10am Dr’ with a 15min reminder. The reminder goes off at 9:00 it flashes up that 10am Dr, and I’m immediately packing my bag so I can get out the door on time and arrive 5 mins early, journey is 15 and I allow for me to forget things, adhd faff and throw clothes on. So my 10min appointment, 5 min early, 15min travel both ways would take a different person 45 mins tops, but my adhd reality is 45 mins plus adhd prep/ponder of 40 mins. My life is better as a consequence and I plan around my reality.

For my work life I do the same - I block out more time for prep etc because it will take me longer to settle. My calendar is copied into my work calendar and I even put what time I am leaving on there as well as when my lunch is.

Then I literally just do as I’m told by pre-me. I have fewer issues as a result and don’t have to provide excuses or go through the guilt mill.

Honestly it’s a struggle but the above makes it easier for me. I know how hard it is to constantly make so much effort. Hope you find something soon.

[Rodster]

There was another post on this a while back and a comment made by one of the posters who said that they had to switch their medication because it was making them hyper focus to much. They switched to another medication and they were fine. If I remember correctly the problem drug fir them was Adderall.