I can not organize guest room and I n... - CHADD's Adult ADH...

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I can not organize guest room and I need to learn that it is okay to seek out help

KarlaJo profile image
22 Replies

I’ve been attempting to get my guest room in order. Basically, I’ve shifted things in and out of the room. I’ve taken a few days off of work, determined to get the room in shape.

I was diagnosed with ADHD at age 32; childhood symptoms were overlooked. Medication helps me with staying focused. My family members are not able to help me organize the items in the closet.

I’m stuck. Trying to get the guest room decluttered is a task that I don’t have the skills. In the closet are items that can be donated or tossed. I can identify which items need to go. I then get overwhelmed and the paralysis sets in.

My goal is to find a person to hire. I want them to be ADHD friendly. I’m not sure where to look to find a professional.

What steps do I take to find a person to come in and help me? I don’t think a coach will help. I want to hire a person that is good at organizing and can help tackle things he closet.

The room has a queen bed, two dressers (one empty and the other one can be donated. Books are on the closet shelves, blankets are on the closet shelves and big toys that my kids no longer want are on the closet floor.

My ADHD brain forgets what I have; out of sight out of mind. It has been easy for me to just close the door. That doesn’t solve my need to turn the unused room into a guest room.

I do feel like a failure at times and I feel ashamed that I am not good at organizing . I do realize it is the ADHD and not me.

please share your advice!

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KarlaJo profile image
KarlaJo
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22 Replies
12zz profile image
12zz

I feel your pain! I have a closet full of family memories! Do I really need those kindergarten papers of my 37 and 34 year old daughters anymore?? Lol

Here is my suggestion. Get a spiral notebook. Roughly write down the specifics of what you want to do.

Toys

Blankets

Remove furniture

Etc

Put each task on a separate sheet. Write the steps needed to accomplish each one.

For example:

Toys

Sort - give away vs throw away

Find a place to donate - Salvation Army, church, daycare , neighbors

Put toys to throw away in trash or outside for bulk pick up, or a dumpster

Load up give away toys in your car or call a friend or family member to help you do this.

Take them to the donation place you picked.

Task completed!!

Check off each task when done. Allow yourself to feel good about accomplishing something!!!

Do this with each task in your notebook.

As a person with ADHD, I struggle with starting and finishing, however, when I am in the zone I can get a lot done. Are you this way? The hardest part is just getting started. Sometimes it helps to pick one of the tasks and tell yourself I am going to do this for one hour.

It is amazing to check the clock and you have been working at it for 2 hours.

Sometimes it is helpful to use your imagination. Pretend you are doing it for SOMEONE ELSE. Sounds silly but must of us enjoy doing something for someone else.

I hope this helps. As far as an organizer, search for Professional Organizers in your area on the web. I think there are many who advise you online if you are not in an area with many choices.

I look forward to hearing about your success in that guest room!

KarlaJo profile image
KarlaJo in reply to12zz

I can try the spiral notebook and do the categories.I really think that I need to experience that “feel-good feeling” of accomplishing a task. No matter how small it is!

BlessedLady profile image
BlessedLady

There are people that are Professional Organizers for a living. The cost depends on where you live like everything else. Google Professional Organizers, your city, your state

Hominid711 profile image
Hominid711

KarlaJo,I love this. Don't worry, I'm the same.

But if I'd EVER get round to doing something about that guest room's sorry state I would get a student. Or a cleaner. Or someone else that could use a little money.

Honestly, all you need is a person who can walk, use 1 or 2 upper limbs and breathe. And is happy being told where things go or can decide that for themselves. A good tidy-upper. Plenty of those around.

Or a nephew/niece. Wave a little money at them and, hey presto, job sorted.I wouldn't think you need someone ADHD-friendly. What does that even mean? Are you planning to talk to them about ADHD whilst you do the tidying? I'd be glad to be distracted and let them talk.

Rather pray to God, THEY don't have ADHD!

AHhbee profile image
AHhbee

Same here. You’re not alone. I get into major freeZe mode and get extremely overwhelmed and shut down. It’s like my mind is a four way street constant thoughts moving on all that needs to be organized. I do find that writing one task starting by the very first step I can actually accomplish. My adhd brain makes me tired and I give up.

KarlaJo profile image
KarlaJo in reply toAHhbee

thank you for replying to my post. I have been able to make progress.

Hominid711 profile image
Hominid711

...just recalling my experience when I still had a cleaner. We were talking about decluttering and she just held up an item and I went "No. Wanna keep". Next item "Keep". Next "Yep". She "Come on!". Me "okay okay..." etc etc. It was fun!

Doodledoodledoo profile image
Doodledoodledoo

Looking at the whole room is too overwhelming! Instead pick a day this week that you are doing to a donation run and focus on just trying to have some stuff to bring out if that room. It doesn’t have to be all the donatables in the room you can do multiple drop offs in the future, just start by getting rid of some things. Pick a number if that’s helpful, can you donate ten items? If so that will be a great start and a piece you chipped away from the big project! Reward yourself with a treat afterwards!

KarlaJo profile image
KarlaJo in reply toDoodledoodledoo

just rereading your reply! I will be home for 2 weeks! I may start back to doing the item numbers!

KarlaJo profile image
KarlaJo

Thank you for this suggestion.I can commit to getting rid of ten items and maybe a few more!

ADDSufferer profile image
ADDSufferer

Don’t hire someone yet.

DANA K. WHITE. I discovered her online and she is AMAZING. She has several books and a whole bunch of YouTube videos. This was the first one I watched and I was hooked.

I can’t paste a link here but Google Dana K White the word that changes everything and watch it.

Dana never mentions ADHD but she is totally ADHD. Seriously she gets us. She is our people. Don’t hire an organizer-most organizers are organized people. They will organize you and then it will go right back to being the way it was. Dana’s book “Decluttering at the speed of life” is perfect. I bought it on Audible and listened to her. She has a great method of decluttering that does NOT make a bigger mess. Try her!!!! (And anyone else who struggles with this stuff too)

KarlaJo profile image
KarlaJo in reply toADDSufferer

Thank you. I will look into Dana K White!

KarlaJo profile image
KarlaJo in reply toADDSufferer

I realize that organizers may organize different than my ADHD way of organizing. Never thought of the fact someone could organize my stuff and I’d never use that system b/c I’m Neurodiverse!

ADDSufferer profile image
ADDSufferer

Her website is aslobcomesclean.com. She talks about the number of people who have helped her clean/organize her house and how it goes right back to being a mess again. One of her big things is that decluttering and organizing are not the same thing. Decluttering is just getting stuff out. As there is less stuff, the organizing just kind of happens easily. There are so many things she says that click with me - watch her video on the container concept. The container concept was a mind- blown for me. It sounds so obvious but I never would have thought of it. However it is the kind of thing that organized people just intuitively know without even knowing they know it.

You can look at websites or organizers, and you'll see that a lot of them have experience working with people with ADHD. And organizers, in my experience, are getting smart. The good ones want to meet with us and think about us and our brains and devise a system that works for us! ...

So I don't think you need to overthink and worry about getting generic suggestions. Many organizers are cool with devising a system that is really EASY for YOU! Some can figure that out just by looking at our space ... and you can bring in the organizer for later visits to update your routines.

If you can afford, hire an organizer ... you can tell them your needs and you can always tweak routines ....

StoneJeweler profile image
StoneJeweler

I completely understand! I fail at being organized all the time. But I am 70 now and I know I am not a failure, I just have ADD. Put an ad in your paper/craigs list and sell your extra dresser and put the large toys in boxes and place in garage and sell them too. Call your local churches and see if they could use them and have them pick them up or local charities. Place ad in your paper or Craig's list looking for an organizer. There are many people who like to organize things and may help without charging too much. Find containers to put stuff off the floor. Be easy on yourself, do a little at a time. You can do it, it may not be perfect, Look at it as a improvement not perfection. You could place all the things that you see as clutter in a corner and cover it until you find a new home for them.

NotAChevy profile image
NotAChevy

It's hard to admit, but I finally learned to admit that I needed help organizing. I had a friend who taught me how to do it, along with having to use the Pomodoro Technique. It's not perfect now, years later, but I'm doing a little better.

KarlaJo profile image
KarlaJo in reply toNotAChevy

Thank you for your reply.

Netjester profile image
Netjester

The best way to declutter is to throw everything out into the yard and then bring only the basics in. Once you have it the way you like, then either throw away the rest (a viable option) or put in a location where you can easily access at a later date. You can do this.

KarlaJo profile image
KarlaJo in reply toNetjester

Thank you.

AuDHD3245 profile image
AuDHD3245

Another word for 'organised' is 'arranging'. So, the best advice I can give, as I am practising to organise too, is to arrange first. So, you gather all the same related items and put them into piles. Linen and sheets in one pile, books and magazines in a pile, clothing in a pile, everything that's related put them in separate piles. Then, you find a new home for it all. This is where it lives, this is where it comes from, and this is where it goes back to. Don't be afraid of sticky notes and labels. They're designed to keep things organised. Dont be afraid to have a note pad and write down what is where.

Arrange everything into piles, put it into it's new home, and 'organised' is the bi-product of all of that. 'Organised' is just what happens AFTER you arrange and put away 👍😀

KarlaJo profile image
KarlaJo in reply toAuDHD3245

Thank you!

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