Why don't you grow up? NO!!

[MrsKlco]

SO...I had a great day at work and was full of energy. When I returned home, I got to work on cleaning and moving around the living room. Half way done and the door opens. It's my hubby, "Did you call about your car? (at the body shop after a fender bender) No, I forgot. He rolls his eyes. "Don't you think it is important?!" Naaa... He rolls his eyes again and said "why don't you grow up?"

(I think in my head.) O..K... my energy is done! Mood smashed! What the hell!!

"NO!!" I tell him to just go and do what he needs. (farm stuff)

So we went and got my car, not happy with that situation, but I don't want to talk about that. I have my car now and I am home... all by myself. Man...I needed my flipping car for what? To set at home and finish what I started? To be insulted?

I am trying to understand and walk in my hubby shoes, but they are big and smelly. So that is not an option today. In all reality, as we all know, if this matter was truly high on MY priority I would have called and probably had gotten my car already. It is not about acting like a child. And thankfully, I let that stuff slide of me as quick as it is thrown at me. If I need to, I have plenty examples of him acting like a child (did you catch it or miss it??). As all woman, I will just store this example away until I need to unleash it on him later. Trust me I will be cunning but nice.

Thank you, I feel so much better, thank you for reading. Let me know if you have had situations like this. I can not be the only one!! BTW living room looks great.

Renee

[Jjflash]

Hiya Renee,you've still got your sense of humour.I think you sound like wonder woman.I hope you get back into your fitness cos that's always a stress buster.A bit of meditation would suit you perfectly,I hope so anyway.A bit of me time for you Renee will hopefully help a bit.ps,you can clean my place if that helps any.

[MrsKlco in reply to Jjflash]

Your funny...I hate cleaning!! But thank you for responding🤗

[Imoverthis2020]

Guuurl. You have to read "Is It You, Me Or ADHD"! I just finished the audio version. What an eye opener relating to the partners of people with ADHD.

If you read it, let me know what you think.

[MrsKlco in reply to Imoverthis2020]

Perfect thank you. And I will.

[iWasSunshine in reply to Imoverthis2020]

Imoverthis2020, I actually didn’t like that book. Even though she provides a lot of info on ADHD she tends to have a really negative attitude towards the ADHD partner.

I preferred Melissa Orlov’s book the ADHD effect on Marriage. (Another great book for knowing what type of ADHD you have and how to tailor your management approach is Dr. Amen’s Healing ADD

amazon.com/Healing-ADD-Revi...

So good, and positive!)

[rach1402]

Unfortunately, I think we ADHD women seem to be drawn to controlling men. I think think there's something about them in the initial attraction that seems stable and reliable, opposites attract! But then when it becomes long term, it's tedious and in the case of me and my ex husband, incompatibility 😫 I hope you and your husband can be each other's yin and yang x

[MrsKlco in reply to rach1402]

When the dust settles...we are. I lean on him for his incredible memory and ability to not be emotional in situations that I ALWAYS second guess myself. But on the other hand, I think I married the tin man!! It is difficult but he is getting better and so am I. Thank you for your kind words

[wtfadhd in reply to rach1402]

I think this is sadly true much of the time. What a sucky ADHD symptom!!! Lol

[czechamy]

In addition to forgetting important things, I avoid things that I haven't completed but that are important, which results in -- you guessed it -- even more putting off the important things. Fortunately, I have had so many experiences of this that when I get some sort of negative consequence for putting things off, I just accept the consequence (I'm not necessarily happy about it but typically accept it). But, that is me and how I deal with my own actions.

Bring in other people in the family and it gets awkward.

For example, when my husband brings up something that I've forgotten to do or asks whether I've completed something, I feel so guilty about it that I say that I'll do it that day or right away and then still avoid it. We've gotten into arguments about it but lately I've been asking him to do the task instead and have opened up to him about feeling so bad about not having done things when he asks that I just say that I'll do it.

We both know that when I do this, I make things worse but the guilt just runs so deep. Ugh!

Thanks for this thread... it's nice and unfortunate that we all share the same situation.

[MrsKlco]

Yes...I call that 75% club. I start something, I get almost done and "squirrel" off to the next thing. My question is...(totally bogus but..) why can't my hubby just help and or finish it without me having to he harassed. Goodness, then it would never end! LOL

Thank you for writing and understanding.

[Johela in reply to MrsKlco]

I know; sometimes I need some help with things, but his attitude is, "It is your task, you do it," I think he is scared I will be like my sister who sluffs everything onto her husband. I just sometimes get overwhelmed and could sure use some support or a bit of help but he sees it as my bad management skills and will not help out. Don't get me wrong, he barbeques and takes care of the cars, but if it is not something I have prearranged and get myself into a bind, I'm up the creek with no help from him. If would just be nice to sometimes have that bit of backing which I always imagined was what a partnership should be.

[MrsKlco in reply to Johela]

I feel ya!! But then there is a new day!! I’m not sure there is an answer...keep your head up and kick butt!!!

[Jselwocki]

Hi there! I ended up doing a seminar with Melissa Orlov with my wife. She really helped me understand how my symptoms effect others but also helped my wife realize what I actually go through

[Amazed_InAwe]

You made me laugh 😂 I’ve been married 28 years - & yes, there’s been plenty of moments like those! I just got diagnosed ADHD a month ago. It’s been both amusing & frustrating as hell. And...You have a wonderful spirit. One of the things he loves about you, I’m sure.

[MrsKlco]

Thank you, I appreciate that!! Congratulations on the diagnosis...🤗