That's my mantra. Here I am, back in the same boat, because - I'm stupid and I hate myself. I have a car and I just keep the key in the ignition, because I can't lock it anyway, so.. that works, and keeps me from constantly losing it, until one day I forgot and took it into the house because - I'm stupid and I hate myself. Then, I let it sit on the coffee table in the living room for a while, as I ride my motorcycle instead over the next few days, and I figure as long as I don't move it, it will stay there and I can put it back whenever I need it, so.. rather than put it back immediately, I leave it there, because - I'm stupid and I hate myself. Then, I go to work (on my motorcycle), and after work I come home to find my girlfriend's kids have been cleaning and rearranging the whole house so it now looks like a war zone (another one of my problems - dealing with people who aren't exactly prioritizing my peace of mind, one could say) and no one knows where my key is. My mechanic finally came over to fix the AC on the car last night, but he couldn't get too far because I had no key, because - I'm stupid and I hate myself. This is one incident among many - it just repeats over and over in my life. I lead a far more difficult life than anyone around me, I end up having problems they never dream of, repeatedly, ad nauseam. Why? Well, you know the answer by now. Nothing works, and here I am again. Thanks for letting me vent. I don't know what else to do
I'm stupid and I hate myself - CHADD's Adult ADH...
I'm stupid and I hate myself
Good day, Tormented555,
Thank you for contacting CHADD National Resource Center. I would suggest not being too hard on yourself; it's important to give yourself some grace. Some days flow easily, while others can present more challenges. Have you considered joining a support group? Another idea might be using an AirTag as a keychain for your keys, which could help keep track of them more easily. Here are some articles that can be helpful, chadd.org/attention-article... chadd.org/adhd-news/adhd-ne... if you are interested also in joining a support group, chadd.org/affiliate-locator/ you are welcome to join any group since many are virtually.
If there is anything else you need, please let me know.
Best regards,
Liseth
Health Information Specialist
CHADD’s National Resource Center on ADHD
What if no days flow easily, and it's one problem, frustration, aggravation, mishap, etc, after another? You work on one area of life, the other goes to hell, and it all steadily just gets worse as the brain deteriorates with age ? What then?
From what you described it sounded like you had nothing to do with the misplacement of your keys. Your mantra has become so engrained that you are taking the hit even when others cause you to lose things. I would challenge you to make a new mantra that encapsulates more of a 'c'est la vie' attitude. Yes, our brains can pull a fast one on us, I used to get very upset in particular about losing things. (Imagine hiding family heirloom jewels to 'keep them safe' and then forgetting where that place is👀), but reframing and being easier on myself has given me a far better existence.
Yes, I have a knack for losing things, but I am super creative, I can hyperfocus and I have bags of enthusiasm. I can tap into those attributes to create organisational systems to help me in the future, if I want!
We spend so many years of our lives being told we are 'lazy', 'stupid', or 'uncaring' by others, it's so important we reserve kinder words for ourselves.
And losing a few things and making a few careless mistakes hardly matter in the grand scheme of things.
I bet you have tons of amazing attributes that outshine the less desirable ones.
I feel your frustration and pain, trust me I do. But I do hope you can find a way to accept and maybe even love yourself with time.
Tormented555, look at all this love you are getting and it's from people who are living your pain and who are very, very familiar with even the quiet thoughts that you have.
Workout the next steps with all of us...we are happy to chime in. Let's work at a recovery plan. You researched help and found this website not just for you to find a tribe, it was for you to find solutions, ideas, and get help so you can get better. Commend yourself for that. I would even say change "Tormented555" to something you aspire to be or something more loving. You are worthy, you are trying. The fact that all of this bothers you and you are here means something. Let's work at a plan of action one step at a time. You can do it!
I truly feel your pain because I've lived it for 50 years. I am finally on a self-discovery to try and love myself again because I just found out ADHD was the issue and I couldn't help half the crap that I was doing and this all led to other major issues. I hear you!
What I've done, I'm working on loving myself again. Self-help and Self-love books helped me. I listen to calming frequencies from YouTube. Try to create a quite place and just sit and listen to positive music.. this all helps me.
Just knowing that this ADHD isn't my fault and that it's a brain rewiring changed my life. I totally took off the self-hatred towards myself because it was nothing I could control and you can learn to navigate through it. It can be a superpower, but we have to work at it.
I wish you the best and I'm here if you need anything. I'm a helper, I love to help others because it takes the negative energy of me and the worry off me and I am doing good for others.
When I do stuff wrong or stupid, I laugh now, and just say "whatever"... took years to get here, but it's working for me now.
Love always,
Tina
I truly feel your pain because I've lived it for 50 years. I am finally on a self-discovery to try and love myself again because I just found out ADHD was the issue and I couldn't help half the crap that I was doing and this all led to other major issues. I hear you!
What I've done, I'm working on loving myself again. Self-help and Self-love books helped me. I listen to calming frequencies from YouTube. Try to create a quite place and just sit and listen to positive music.. this all helps me.
Just knowing that this ADHD isn't my fault and that it's a brain rewiring changed my life. I totally took off the self-hatred towards myself because it was nothing I could control and you can learn to navigate through it. It can be a superpower, but we have to work at it.
I wish you the best and I'm here if you need anything. I'm a helper, I love to help others because it takes the negative energy of me and the worry off me and I am doing good for others.
When I do stuff wrong or stupid, I laugh now, and just say "whatever"... took years to get here, but it's working for me now.
Love always,
Tina
I made several duplicates of my keys. My spouse had one on him, I had one around my neck, on my key chain, another in a key holder and attached it to the car. PS. Make sure the magnet is strong dont go cheap!!! I also put one in a pair of shoes that I didn't wear, another dangled from a lamp in the living room as a reminder. (It was a f*cked up time.) I was stressed and got frazzled really easy.I mess up more when... one, I let words and emotion get to me, two ....in a rush, three.. ... don't check myself to make sure I have everything I need before I enter and exit the house, room, car, store wherever I am and give yourself enough time to check. I give it a few more minutes versus seconds now.
I also write notes or list on the notes app and memos on a white board, I have a calendar both on my phone and on my desk. I also set reminders. And ask me how many times I have to relearn everyone's birthdays if I don't have them wrote down or on Facebook or my phone. It's embarrassing. I don't like being embarrassed.
The cool thing is the people who actually love me say... They say "that's just trailblazer " ...make small but funny cracks at my expense and carry on.
It sucks beyond belief like how in the f*ck did we get our adhd where did it come from. I often wonder why was I born. I know the real answer....two people had sex and wasn't being careful. There genes then got passed down. They were intelligent people had a touch of it themselves. But, I didn't ask to be born this way and I struggle with it more so than not.
But, I too passed it down to my kids. Do you listen to korn or Johnathan Davis. A song called What it is. ... And have a hard time forgiving myself for doing the same thing .....giving them the same burden and disposition. Had I had more information I wouldn't have done that to them!!!!!
I'm upset most days because I feel they could have done alot more for us in school to help us learn by different methods. Now you have to pay 1000's of dollars to be properly tested. On that note it could have been undocumented experiments from the war error?!?! Including drug experimentation!!! People did some wierd sh*t back in the day.... look it up yourself if you have a chance. Real documented experiments. Also watch brain games. Different take on tricking youre mind.
But, I feel ya! I cant win for losing most days. I try everyday to either improve or accept. It's a major thing that consumes my mind and I wish I could just make it stop. Because it would be one less thing taking up way to much space...
All I can tell you is to try to believe in yourself and most people will stay in your corner making life more bearable. When I believe in me... s*it gets done....and life is better...... when I dont believe in me.... it's.. Doom and Gloom. It's a hard place to be and still stay strong for other people, family and friends.
I miss living in national parks it's a little more peaceful ✌️. And it's where most of us end up!
So sorry to hear you are in such an unhappy spot! I, too, can totally identify with your struggles and also beg that you don't be so hard on yourself. As my husband says when I can't find my keys ... WHO CARES? They're somewhere, and we'll find them! (Thank heavens for a supportive husband! Look for people in your life who support and don't demean you!)
I'll add one tip: Do you remember the song "Head, Shoulders, Knees, and Toes ... Knees and Toes" from when you were a kid? I sing that song as I leave the house, but I substitute: Wallet, Glasses, Keys, and Phone ... Kindle, too!" Sounds silly, but it helps me remember what I need to take with me. (A key holder at my back door helps, too!)
Good luck, Tormented 555 ... we are all with you!
I love this...thank you!! I will be singing this song differently now.
I started timing chores that I didn't want to do. For nstance, dishes after dinner. One night when I really did not want to take the time to clean the kitchen, I asked myself "Just how long does it take?" The answer was 10 minutes. So now, when I want to put something off until tomorrow, I tell myself it's only ten minutes. Guess what? My kitchen is usually cleaned every night.
So, instead of putting something off, like your keys, tell your self that it won't take very long to put them away. And next time you'll be stress-free about where your keys are.
Nope. You're not stupid. Stop hating yourself. Wash, rinse, repeat.
Now, I realize that what I am proposing in that opening seems flat out impossible right now, but you will get there. Yes, it's going to take a lot of effort on your part by learning to truly identify victim behaviour and letting it go. What will start volleying back your way will be little, seemingly insignificant victories. These details will be easily made fun of by neurotypical people around you and you will feel put down - Fine -> Don't share them. They are yours and yours alone and NO ONE gets to make you feel bad about you. Only you; that is always your prerogative and you are clearly using it copiously. I urge you in the strongest terms to stop that.
Through this process of stopping the self-flagellation and simply letting all these perceived 'failures' pass you by, yet not calling yourself names, you will learn to become very comfortable with discomfort, until the discomfort is no more. It is completely counterintuitive because we, as adult ADHDers, want to fight through this and get to a better day that never comes. Not like that anyway...
The old ways don't work anymore, even if they did at one point. To quote Yoda, you must unlearn what you have learned, quite literally, and I am being dead serious, not flippant in any way.
Let the bad pass. Let it wash over you and dissipate and learn to ignore it; let it die an unceremonious death of insignificance. Start leaning into the effort of whatever it is you're doing without caring about the result. Build on that. It will take time, but you will find yourself, after a few weeks or months, on the other side of this invisible fence that is holding you back from progress and you will grow to appreciate your inner peace, your serenity. All your efforts will be focused on growing that and safeguarding it. The better results will come, you just have to let them go completely until they start coming to you. In fact, you won't care anywhere near as much about the results as you do now, even though we all have functional lives to live. You will realize you now have a much more balanced life in terms of effort and reward where the effort is actually the majority of the reward along the way.
Again, the old ways need to become new ways. Be thankful, you are on the brink. Progress is coming. You just need to stop berating yourself and let yourself go through that door of gradual progress.
Don't sweat the small stuff, which all feels like big stuff now. It will become small, mainly as a function of you becoming bigger and more whole as a person.
Take it from a 51yo guy who knows exactly where you are because I was there 1.8 years ago and who is now on this part of the journey. I'm not done yet, believe me, but I am in a place I could not conceive of several months back -> And it continues to get better. Really?
I am astonished at how blind I was to my own potential and self-worth. I'm waving at you from this side and encouraging you, but YOU have to decide to start leaning forward center of mass on this one. No one can do it for you.
Life has not changed. All the problems are still there, and some worse than before. What has changed is my self-concept and how I see myself in the world. That has, in turn, changed the world around me. Of course, exercise, sleep, diet, supplements, the lot - it is all necessary to get 'here' and stay 'here', but the point is that what changes is you and your cognitive reserve and your mental, emotional, physical and spiritual resilience. Like I said little things become little again, and it has the added benefit of making truly big things smaller and more manageable as well. What a pleasant surprise. No more panic attacks, no more anxiety, no more depression. And no, no one has my permission to make me feel bad in any way whatsoever; not even me.
For the record, I take the lowest possible dose of Ritalin and I take very good care of myself otherwise with my regimen, nothing else. I'm just like you. I'm just a little bit up the road from where you are now and you can't see me around the bend, but I'm letting you know I'm there. I see you coming. Good. Go forward and announce your arrival. Today.
Be well. Godspeed.
Hi Friend,
Could you please breakdown victimhood and your perspective of combating this mindset, please? I am very curious of your take and breakdown.
I really appreciate it.
You'd have to give me an example of what you're dealing with and I can point out where I would find potential (or actual) victimhood. The trick is to stay in metacognition mode as much of the time as possible to catch it at the source, no matter the situation. As long as I can keep myself from feeling or getting upset, I'm staying ahead of it and controlling it, rather than it controlling me.
I'd say that the key is understanding how insidious it is. Living like that sounds like living in a horror movie, and it is, until you exercise, meditate, start sleeping better, etc. long enough that you build up your cognitive reserve. This way, life becomes much more manageable and one no longer lives in a horror movie, but in a good serious drama, per se. Over time, I've gotten little glimmers of comedy along the way, but it takes a while to get there. At times, life feels like your favorite fun action movie for a bit here and there and the forward momentum that generates is something you forgot you could do and you want more of it. Pure natural dopamine for all the right reasons. There is nothing better.
I'd start with your triggers and breakdown why they trigger you and challenge those assumptions and render them moot by sitting in the discomfort of acknowledging them and staying calm until the storm passes and go through the feeling of the triggers losing their power.
It's about fighting by not fighting. It stiffens the resolve in a most unusual way and leads you not so much to combatting victimhood behaviors, but rather to leaving them behind by chasing better things; progress. You go from spinning your wheels to gaining traction. Quite the paradigm shift.
As for me, I'm at the point now where, for example, my wife greets me with a frown, sighs at me, rolls her eyes, puts me down or is flat out rude and I merely respond with 'ok' without even looking at her if at all and not only do I ignore her bad mood, but I find myself completely calm and not having a care in the world about it. That is now her problem, not mine, and it's very liberating to understand that I can't fix her and it's not my responsibility to do so.
As you can tell, my wife and her emotional abuse is my greatest trigger at the moment, but if I don't give in to her negative advances, I win by preserving my serenity, even through the job hunt, etc. I just watch her drift by like a piece of driftwood in a river. Too bad for her. She'll learn in due time.
The second I give in and get upset, react, respond 'in my own defense', etc, it turns me into a victim and the battle is lost. That's ok, this is a war with many battles, and I'll have plenty of opportunities to fight again tomorrow and the day after, etc. I have nothing to defend, excuse nor explain. I know who I am and my worth.
I now strive to be a 'content imperfectionist', as I like to call it, and I require zero acknowledgment nor appreciation from anyone. This way the list of disappointments gets shockingly short and quickly too. I rest in the knowledge that I am growing stronger everyday. One or several others who appreciate me will come, but they are not necessary. contentment through self discipline and perseverance is very calming for me and is attractive to others in unexpected ways.
Don't let yourself suffer. Don't ask for help. No one is coming to help, nor should they. Let it/them go and grab a hold of yourself and don't let yourself go. The faster I understood that and owned it, the faster I got this ADHD thing under control.
Esoteric, I know, but you asked 😉
Be well. Godspeed.
ok i am working on this reply to you but in the meantime, I was actually writing this to you before I noticed you replied to my last message.
In your very well written reply to Tormented555 you mentioned this...
"...Again, the old ways need to become new ways. Be thankful, you are on the brink. Progress is coming. You just need to stop berating yourself and let yourself go through that door of gradual progress."
1) Replace old with new- How? When the steps seem simple but the action, when actually doing it seem like you
are ripping your eye out. How did planning a family vacation because a daunting task you find yourself getting anxiety over? Or even meal planning...i want to vomit just typing meal planning.
2) "Be thankful, you are on the brink." - How can one identify if we are at the brink and it's not a temporary burst of momentary emotion where we lie to ourself and others what we can actually do?
3) How do you go through the door of gradual progress when you feel defeated?
1. Keep at it. No matter what. No matter how many times you 'fail'. You're not.
2. Pace yourself. This is not Rocky beating down Mr. T and Drago. It is however, him losing to Apollo in Rocky I. Who cares? He kept getting up and kept getting up until Apollo dropped his face and felt defeated. This is a war of attrition and it's not about winning; it's about perseverance until you start seeing the look of defeat in others. It's about them losing, if you will. Outlast the opponent, calmly, stoically, in a collected fashion, guarding your thoughts and your actions. Fail and fail again until you start learning how to win those tiny wins and build on them.
3. The Brink: The harder it feels, the more progress you're making and the closer you are to breaking through. This is not, however, transactional, it is a process, though there are plateaus. I NEED to go swimming today. If I don't I will pay for it and I know it. I'm far enough along that the wall of awful does not keep me from the pool anymore, nor do I 'fear' getting in the pool like I used to. It's always going to be there, make no mistake.
4. Feel defeated until you feel defeated no more. Challenge your assumptions. Break down the list of to-dos for the meal and vacation planning. Take it step by step, and painfully so, consuming as much time as it takes you until you finish one tiny little thing, then, take a breather and get on the next one. Start to feel the calm that comes with achievement, no matter how minimal. Capitalize on THAT. Hold on to THAT. You will notice how the bad dissipates and you start focusing your attention and focus a bit more, better and better and, again, everything becomes a bit more manageable.
This is incredibly difficult. Until it's not.
You will feel defeated. Until you don't.
Others putting you down will feel like the world is ending. Until it doesn't.
Your feelings will control you. Until they don't and you control them.
Yes - It takes A LOT of hard work and it never, ever ends. Figure out your 'point of entry' by experimenting with behavioral tools, get up, get moving, take care of something, work with your hands, leverage your creativity, keep it to yourself not expecting anyone to sing your praises, as you are not reading the room correctly (none of us are), come back here and tell us all about how you were able to take out the trash, do the dishes, or anything else, even if you broke down crying. Then come back in a day or two and tell us about how you did it again, but you didn't break down, or you cried less.
If football is a game of inches, this is a game of millimeters.
Go find your ruler. They're all around you and only you can pick out what works for you. I'm going for a swim and you're in my prayers, as is everyone on this forum.
Go listen to Mozart's variations on 'Maman, Te Dirais-Je', which is the basic tune that later became popular as 'twinkle twinkle little star'. There are 13 variations, if memory serves. Listen to them as they get more complex and interesting and layered. Discover YOUR layers and learn to leverage them. Learn to leverage only one and start there. There is an excellent recording by pianist Fazil Say I have enjoyed over the years. Solid recommendation.
These are all variations on a theme, as in classical music. No different for learning to manage my ADHD:
1. Today, I will practice self-compassion
2. Today, I will take full responsibility for my life
3. Repeat
Go practice your 1-2-3s here and you will note that the first stumbling block will be you NOT practicing self compassion. Stop torturing yourself. I had to learn to stop before I had to then learn to start again. Then came modulation and learning to shift gears and, dare I say, apply the brake.
Go learn to drive your brain. Slowly, calmly, contentedly. It will not come, though if you merely pop a pill. You will discover you have to leverage all the tools in your own way to find how they come together. Go find your glue and tell us all about it. No pressure, no judgments. I will keep encouraging you until you get there, period. But you have to get there, sorry to say, period.
We all want to be saved, but that only comes in the next life, and certainly not in this world. Be thankful that you are now in a group of individuals learning (and helping each other) to save themselves.
I'm off for a 3k in an hour.
Be well. Godspeed.
First of all, you need to write a book. Because come on…you are spot on with the nuances and silent thoughts and replies that go on in my head. I am sure others may relate. Your insight is telling to what you’ve been through and the work you put in to just start walking to the otherside. At this point you are extraterrestrial to me with your level of insight and detail. I digress…
I was actually thinking about the level of control that I would have if I prioritized sleep, exercise, medication, routine, peace and more. So the metacognition mode can go into as much full drive as it can to do exactly what you said “to catch it at the source, no matter the situation.” And man do I get what you mean when you say “As long as I can keep myself from feeling or getting upset, I'm staying ahead of it and controlling it, rather than it controlling me.” The spiraling out of control to the point that I wake up the next day confused about what day of the week it is or even feeling like I have a hang over AND emotionally deregulated; is enough to set me back 500 million steps. This is where that cognitive reserve comes in that you mentioned but first I need to break this entire paragraph down…this is going to taking a hot minute for me because this paragraph right here dissects me. I have to fill in these blanks.
“I'd start with your triggers and breakdown why they trigger you and challenge those assumptions and render them moot by sitting in the discomfort of acknowledging them and staying calm until the storm passes and go through the feeling of the triggers losing their power. It's about fighting by not fighting. It stiffens the resolve in a most unusual way and leads you not so much to combatting victimhood behaviors, but rather to leaving them behind by chasing better things; progress. You go from spinning your wheels to gaining traction. Quite the paradigm shift.”
Additionally, I am soaking in this right here as well. Going to let it all it to seep in every crevice of me.
“I now strive to be a 'content imperfectionist', as I like to call it, and I require zero acknowledgment nor appreciation from anyone. This way the list of disappointments gets shockingly short and quickly too. I rest in the knowledge that I am growing stronger everyday. One or several others who appreciate me will come, but they are not necessary. contentment through self discipline and perseverance is very calming for me and is attractive to others in unexpected ways.
Don't let yourself suffer. Don't ask for help. No one is coming to help, nor should they. Let it/them go and grab a hold of yourself and don't let yourself go. The faster I understood that and owned it, the faster I got this ADHD thing under control.
Esoteric, I know, but you asked 😉”
Believe me when I say I understand your message. It’s going to take some time to meditate on this. Thank you, I needed this greatly.
1. Thank you for the compliment. I'm getting the book request a lot. I've never written nor even journaled in my life. Interesting. Variations on a theme indeed...
2. We all digress, which is part of the problem. I make no assumptions about anyone being able to absorb my eclectic mix of sources nor references. They are, however, evidence of how I've had to rewire my brain by finding and forging alternate, new neural pathways to get at my anterior mid cingulate cortex and keep me leanin forward center of mass and moving forward. I'm glad it's helpful to you.
3. Yes, start with sleep, and for that there is no better source than Andrew Huberman's podcast and Sleep Toolkit. Look it up. Once you start sleeping better, everyting else will, at least, be a tad less challenging/more approachable. No, I do not recommend any sleeping pills nor melatonin, as they have serious deleterious effects.
4. Research cognition as we get older with books like "Outlive" by Peter Attia, "The Brain That Heals Itself" by Norman Doidge and "Change Your Brain Change Your Life" by Daniel Amen. I moved past strictly ADHD/Adult ADHD books after my first couple of months as I set my sight higher due to the fact that those books seemed very formulaic and were lacking in progress for me. They were a bit of a salve/cructh for me, but I needed more. I've never given up in life and I never will. I needed better, more robust answers. I went searching for them.
5. Agreed - I throw a lot out there for people to absorb, but that should be a good thing, I think, showing evidence of progress with the goal of being inspiring to others. This is the only way I know how, and it benefits me as much as anyone reading this. So, yes, revisit these replies, print them out, have them handy to do your journaling as you move down the path toward progress. Anything I can do to help. It will take several passes and you're likely to glean something new and different every time you read them because you also have ADHD and they will speak to what you need to focus on/work on THAT DAY. Rome was not built in a day, and that certainly applies here.
Again, thank you for the compliment. I'm just a finance guy working very hard toward happiness again.
Be well. Godspeed.
For now...Thank you sincerely! 😊
The more you tell yourself 'you're stupid and you hate yourself', the more you'll become stupid and hate yourself. Flip it, to 'i'm bright, intelligent and love myself'
My Dear friend, I write to you from the bottom of my heart.
I am you. What is beautiful about this community is that we all empathize with you.
Take a moment and breathe in and out. I know this will not be easy but try even if you are not completely relaxed just breath. Even if you don't want to force yourself to give yourself a hug.
I am severely battling the negative self talk to myself but before today it was so severe that I literally had body pain and aches all over my body. I couldn't bring myself to get up from the bed when I was supposed to and I literally felt like I had a hang over every morning from the stress I think.
Today I am not soooo bad, I actually have 2-3 days in the week where I don't feel like this and the other half I mask a whole lot. I share this with you to show you that you are not the only one feeling these feelings. You are normal.
I broke down a portion of FocusandFlow's response to you. Did you hear it well. If not read this section AGAIN. i highlighted ALOT things that this great adhd friend we have has provided. but I think you need to hear it again slowly. I am going to be doing the same right along with you.
"Now, I realize that what I am proposing in that opening seems flat out impossible right now, but you will get there. Yes, it's going to take a lot of effort on your part by learning to truly identify victim behaviour and letting it go.
....Again, the old ways need to become new ways. Be thankful, you are on the brink. Progress is coming. You just need to stop berating yourself and let yourself go through that door of gradual progress.
Don't sweat the small stuff, which all feels like big stuff now. It will become small, mainly as a function of you becoming bigger and more whole as a person.
Take it from a 51yo guy who knows exactly where you are because I was there 1.8 years ago and who is now on this part of the journey. I'm not done yet, believe me, but I am in a place I could not conceive of several months back -> And it continues to get better. Really?
I am astonished at how blind I was to my own potential and self-worth. I'm waving at you from this side and encouraging you, but YOU have to decide to start leaning forward center of mass on this one. No one can do it for you.
Life has not changed. All the problems are still there, and some worse than before. What has changed is my self-concept and how I see myself in the world. That has, in turn, changed the world around me. Of course, exercise, sleep, diet, supplements, the lot - it is all necessary to get 'here' and stay 'here', but the point is that what changes is you and your cognitive reserve and your mental, emotional, physical and spiritual resilience. Like I said little things become little again, and it has the added benefit of making truly big things smaller and more manageable as well. What a pleasant surprise. No more panic attacks, no more anxiety, no more depression. And no, no one has my permission to make me feel bad in any way whatsoever; not even me.
For the record, I take the lowest possible dose of Ritalin and I take very good care of myself otherwise with my regimen, nothing else. I'm just like you. I'm just a little bit up the road from where you are now and you can't see me around the bend, but I'm letting you know I'm there. I see you coming. Good. Go forward and announce your arrival. Today."
Listen and allow these words to sink deep. Tormented555 you can do it. We all believe in you. Take just one step. Please. You, We can do this my dear friend.
To you, Tormented 555, as well as to everyone else who responded: Sometimes you just have to go to bed and start all over in the morning. 👍
Life is an endless adventure and an experiment. If keeping the key in the ignition didn’t work, explore other strategies! Keep strategies that work and keep experimenting with others until you lessen the severity of its effects and impacts on your life. Some strategies will work until they don’t. If they don’t work anymore, let the strategy go, and find another. Think of our early ancestors! What must they do to survive the day? No prior knowledge. No one to show them what to do. No food. No water. No Shelter. Eating food is natural. Drinking water is natural. Seeking shelter is natural. Driving a car —is that natural? Needing to keep a tiny piece of metal on you at all times and know where it is at all times is that you can stick it in a bigger piece of metal’s keyhole to get somewhere faster than other modes of traveling —is that natural? To make this piece of metal so much attention and mental energy? To keep an eye on it so much that it becomes an actual part of your consciousness that it affects your thoughts about yourself and controls your emotions? It’s not natural. Stick to what is natural with ADHD. Focus on your breath, your mind, your body, and sensations that ground you in who and what you are—which is someone who thinks and experiences the world differently. It does not make you less than. It makes you unique and interesting.
I hope you're feeling better than you did the day you wrote this. So I guess I'm just checking on you! And just letting you know that your mind is a very powerful entity. It can convince you of anything if you allow it. I struggle with this often.....but, I hate that I'm always pessimistic. I believe counselors can help with that. The whole family was in counseling many years ago and they were touching on it but we only had so many sessions so I didn't get a whole lot out of it. Especially since It wasn't geared towards me/it was an us thing and I was still pretty young to so hind site is always 2020. Look into it!!! I'm going to!!!!
I Hate Rejection Sensitive Dysphoria 
49 and starting over 
I think I need professional support, but feel like my issues aren't severe enough. What do I do?
