Does anybody have successful experiences or tactics regarding cognitive behavioral therapy. I've been struggling with my ADHD for a while now, and it only hurts my wife. Then when she comes down on me for my stupid ADHD mistakes, I defend myself impulsively and erratically and it only makes things much much worse.
It's hasn't helped that I'm super busy with work and working extra trying to pay off debt and save for a house, but 60-hour weeks don't lend themselves to successful navigation of ADHD symptoms. I struggle to get enough sleep or exercise and I struggle to find time for meditation even though everyone says I would greatly benefit from it.
So has anyone seen success with Cognitive Behavioral Therapy and similarly, how have they scheduled/planned/found a way to get the necessary sleep, exercise and relaxation whilst working around 60 hours weekly.
I'm reading Cognitive Behavioral Therapy - Targeting Executive Dysfunction by Mary Solanto. Let me know what else I should read.
Thanks in advance,
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jschoolfailure
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I am a college student so I am not in the same situation but thought I might offer a few thoughts that I use as my schedule changes fairly frequently. I struggle with change so I keep as many things constant as I can. For instance I go to bed and have the same bed routine every night. Example: I get in to bed around 8pm and watch tv for about an hour. 9pm I switch to my night time music (I listen to audio books or other sounds as I cant sleep without it). I spend the next hour winding down and just getting ready for sleep. 10pm I settle in and actually try to start sleeping. I also get up at the same time every day weekend or weekday it doesn't matter. I get up at 8am.
I have been taking ADHD medication for about 15 years so it has been an established part of my routine for a long time. I take long acting medication (Concerta) so I only have to worry about taking it in the morning. I would recommend setting alarms or building it into your routine so you remember to take them. Example: I use a weekly pill sorter so I know wether or not I took my meds because I suck at remembering things.
When I was at school I tried to go to the gym two to three times a week. Since my days vary it is easier for me to get in. However, when my schedule does not permit going to gym I try to take 15 minutes and go for a walk around the block or even dance to a YouTube dance cardio video for fun and work out some energy. I would try to just find 5 minutes where you can just go for a short walk and let your brain take a break. It isn't about hard core exercise or anything crazy. Its more just get your hart pumping and get your body moving.
Do you use an online calendar or some other tracker? That could help you to organize your time and plan some time to relax or take a break. I am sorry I don't know anything about CBT. I hope I could help a little even not being in your position.
Great suggestions. I have ADHD and you’re on point!
Much love and hope you’re doing amazing in all your things! 🙂
Normally I’d write like a ton but idk
DBT is very effective for ADHD imo. It helps with learning to form new habits and reinforcing your abstract thinking. Idk about you but my brain enjoys working on anything outside of myself. I learned this recently. I became extremely self aware and questioned myself and went against my self which helps me work on managing my impulse behavior. Abstract thinking is our thinking ability to act in someone else’s perception and make reasonable assumptions to how their emotions and thoughts might respond to certain situations. Like if someone were telling you about a bad day at work. My thought process is like, I hear the other person and in the moment start comparing similar experiences so that I can level with them and the conversation. It’s hard for me sometimes when I find myself unable to relate. Which turns into an issue for me because I’ll seek the experience just so I can relate in the future. Which, may sound questionable but idk I like to be positive and I see it as an advantacious disadvantage 🤓 lol totally came up with that really cool sounding word.
In my experience, find things that you find holding your interest and use them as tools for snapping out of impulses and also to ground yourself if you find that you’re doing random shit that is consuming your time.
Self awareness goes a long ways and it’s important to note down what you feel are bad habits and little by little catch yourself doing them and replace with new ones or use your things of interest as a tool to just begin the habit of catching yourself and redirecting your behavior.
It takes time so be extremely patient and extremely kind to yourself. If you’re like me, I am really harsh on myself and that not good. Praise yourself even for the smallest things. Catching yourself is a huge accomplishment and worth loving yourself and telling yourself good fucking job!
Hope I helped with this. Idk if you were asking for things like this but yeah. You got this! Love ya and hope all your future days hold peace, love and accomplishment in them. You deserve that! Like me and everyone else does too 😀
Please can you think about your name: "jschoolfailure", your some one who's trying hard, how about "imgettingthere" or "tryingonedayatatime" just something a little more positive ... if the name works for you that's good but, the word failure in your name is potentially reinforcing subconscious thoughts.
Working 60 hours per week and in stress, please don't be too hard on yourself. There's only so much that CBT will be able to do if you're working 60 hours per week.
Can you do more with exercise, even just a little, can you take mini breaks from your work and just do some push ups or star jumps, can you walk around whilst you're on a phone call? Can you buy a cheap vibration board and do an online class they take 10 minutes? I'm in Australia but this one looks ok?
have a think about trying to prioritize your sleep as much as you can: Do you eat 3 hours before going to sleep, it will make it easier if you're not digesting, do you do a brain dump and journal your issues out before going to sleep? I take Now Foods L'Theanine and Kal Magnesium glycinate before going to sleep, also have a look on the internet at mucuna pruriens or l-tyrosine to help replenish dopamine. Do you switch off your wifi and if you sleep with a mobile in your room do you put it on flight mode? do you have any light in your room from a clock radio? I initially goto sleep on a shakti mat, it helps to calm me, and I also goto sleep listening to a meditation track like this one: youtube.com/watch?v=IrY_b_t... (though I do have to wake an put phone into flight mode), I also use sleep patches patchmd.com/sleep-starter-t... I cut one patch into 6 pieces so a 30 pack lasts half a year.
You may not be able to meditate but can you breath? I know it's basic but breathing is the number 1 way to calm a busy mind, this app will help and it's free and you can do one session in 3 minutes.
Bless you jschoolfailure - i have changed my profile name, for self-esteem reasons.... i recommend that too! (I might go further one day.... how about “HowFarI’veCome”...
Reading about cognitive behavioral therapy is not the same as discussing it with the therapist. I provide this type of therapy and use it for myself. There are many people who have read about it, but might be implementing it incorrectly. I recommend meeting with a psychologist who specializes in this and ADHD, to receive instruction on using it.
Hi jschoolfailure . I've always impressed with Dr. Russ Ramsay. Here is a free podcast of him talking with Eric Tivers. adhdrewired.com/russell-ram... . Dr Ramsay has a new book out called Rethinking Adult ADHD that is very good as well.
I’m trying coaching with the Shanna Pearson coaches. (By Zoom, cross-continent - not a problem!)
Its helping me plan my days and focus on what to do first. Inc a week of focusing on getting to bed by midnight.... sounds dumb but it really helped.
It is also helping with my relationships with partner and junior age son... I’m a bit calmer, and coping with upsets & my own mistakes better. Which is amazing, in lockdown! (I figured out i’m prob adhd in December. After an initial “grief” phase. I found that just feeling a bit less “jigsaw pieces missing” made me feel better about myself!!! Kept it to myself, but partner figured it out in Feb... luckily! as it helped our relationship, especially in the first few weeks after he came up with it! He saw the “Adhd a not just for kids” documentary on Netflix, while working away overnight, and text me... “don’t kill me but You need to watch this...”)
But I’m not working much. And with Covid, i’m staying home, mostly - major plus, not having to get organised to leave the house!
(Downside is lack of structure, and frustrations of home-learning, but partner still working, and stomachs still getting hungry, so there is a pattern to the day!)
Like Mad Maxy says,
Get your sleep!
If that’s all you can manage, while you are working so hard, its worth it.
I’m still not totally convinced i’m adhd, if i could stop staying up late, i reckon i might function significantly better!!
My top sleep tip - will tick your exercise Or meditation Or human connection box too.... and it comes from a top UK optical physicist working in human health:
- get out in daylight for 15-20mins, in the morning, or at lunchtime, latest.
Walk if its cold. Or just sit outside & look at the sky. Or phone your best friend or oldest relative, to connect and brighten soneohe else’s day!
Your eyes can only give your brain enough bodyclock stimulus by being outdoors - light levels are 100 times higher, even than sitting by a window, even on a stormy day!
Your circadian rhythm is an important part of your brain & body’s regulation systems!
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