I’m feeling like extremely alone but working on my positivity I know that I’m not. Ever since I joined this app and group, I quickly remember how not alone I am.
People tell me I’m not ADHD and all this types of things and they think it’s helpful and comforting but really it’s not. It takes me a step back and it gets me to not be comfortable under my own skin.
I am what I am and I am happy to be who I am. Those who tell me I’m not just comes to show how much I’m not understood. How much they just don’t get it. I was asked yesterday, how do you have so much energy when you’ve only had one meal. I just looked at him, rhetorically. Like what do I have to do to prove what I say is true. And the thing is, like, I don’t have, shouldn’t have any feeling or need to prove anything to anyone. But I’m so desperate to be understood that I’m taken whatever it is that gets me into that mind whatever whatever.
I don’t know a lot of words and I feel under developed af and it gets me thinking like why do I know what I know but I don’t know the things that will help me. Like, I don’t know how to explain or express myself sometimes and then I feel the expectations that I’m suppose to understand someone else when I barely understand myself. And then others get mad and get me thinking that I’m not human and I’m this horrible person because I don’t get them and their problems. I’m giving you an ear, like damn what more do you want. I’m spending a lot of time trying to decipher what I have no clue what it is that I’m deciphering. I don’t even know where to start.
Agh but I love myself and I love that I have here to flush some of the overwhelming feelings I get throughout the day and I love y’all and I hope y’all are having the best day. We all deserve to have the best life and I’m here for anyone needing to decompress 🙂 I like the thought of two people freaking out over the same things than one person freaking out in their own. It just seems more fun hahaha. I’m just being positive, I hope that isn’t taken the wrong way
First of all, I really appreciate your vulnerability here. I've read a few of your posts and they are always so honest and raw - that's so refreshing and I find myself relating to so much that you write about. I'm not great at being me, because like you I've been punished and made fun of for being me all my life. I'm with you on feeling like I have to prove my "ADHD-ness" to everyone around me, but you're right, it's such a stupid thing to feel the need to do. BUT we feel the need to do it because we're so used to being invisible, or written off as the weirdo that never sits still.
Something I've come to realize is that people without ADHD just can't imagine what it's like to have ADHD. Just like our brains are wired different than theirs and we can't function the same at their levels, their "typical" brains can't possibly understand what it's like to think differently, like us. I don't know how much this will help you, but I find it helpful to remind myself of this every time a loved one says something I consider stupid and common sense, because duh, ADHD! When you don't live with something 24/7 it's hard to remember it's there.
As long as your friends and loved ones try to understand you and learn about your beautiful brain, then having patience with them becomes easier. But if they are completely dismissive of your struggles and strengths, and aren't willing to learn about who you are and what makes you tick, then they aren't worth your energy. I know that's easier said than done, but it makes a big difference when you surround yourself with people who are open-minded and willing to try to understand ("try" being the key word here). So much of our ADHD baggage comes from being misunderstood, and when people don't understand something they fear it, and when they fear it they often attack or belittle it to reduce the power it has over them. This is the tragic cycle we fall into, and probably why so many of us feel so much shame over our diagnosis. Just remember, it's a society thing, not a you thing.
Sorry this got really long - I started typing and couldn't stop!
🥰 thanks for your reply. I always say, don’t apologize or feel that you’re being excessive with your words. At least not with me. Makes me feel comfy to know I’m not the only one who goes in deep hehe.
I’m glad you were able to get something from my posts. That’s my only goal when I post. And I can only try to help others understand me so much, if they aren’t putting in their part well... stay away from me.
I know I have an enormous heart even if I appear that I don’t since I get distracted easily and my interest shifts like crazy depending on my environment. Deep down, those who actually care to know and understand me, know how big my heart is.
It means a lot that you replied cuz I was heading down a rabbit hole and luckily I caught myself and won’t go in deeper
Love you and hope you have an awesome day! I’m here if you ever need a set of eyes and an awesome brain to help decompress.
I know exactly where your coming from.ive adhd and the amount of ppl have said to me it’s a myth.
Yup that’s destroying just in its self.
My reply last time to some lazy fxck who said he sat behind the camera in the shop not to be seen because why should he have to work on minimum wage was well mate you’ve got a choice do somet different and make a difference in life.who knows you may experience more of life and be more understanding of ppl with a mental health issue that’s a living hell some times.sorry I adhd couldn’t hold my tongue,oh well that’s adhd for you.he didn’t know where to look.
Yer I’ve a big heart even though I’m so miss understood.
I bet your up and down like a yo-yo on steroids not knowing which way to turn.
You know when I got married I found this amazing book about adhd and bought a copy for my wife.there you go I said.not a lot of husbands give there wife a manual on them selves hey.
Well she read 17 pages in 8 yrs and now we have split up.im sorry but I did tell her it may be hard at times but she could have learnt why I do things and helped me help her understand me.
Your totally correct.ppl that don’t live with it ain’t got a clue.
I bet your the most wonderful joyful person to be around.will help any one totally unconditionally.
Yup I’m like that and I just can’t stop being like it even if I get taken advantage of.
When adhd is harnessed it’s the most wonderful outrageous of the wall out of this world mental health issue.when it’s not harnessed it’s a bloody bugger.
When I was diagnosed ten yrs ago it all made sense and was able to be at piece with my self.
I’m now on lisdexamphrtamine.its called somet else in the USA I’ve now got a quiet mind.i feel so articulate on a good day.i can listen,understand.it is weird how we are able to soak up large amounts of information.
Every time I go to the barbers the guy is,how the hell do you know that.we have the most understanding barbers and I like going there as what ever I say is not judged upon and the 20 min hair cut turns in to an hour and there is a full on debate between every one in the shop.
This stimulates my mind to the max in one way.
Other days believe it or now the adhd has got the better of me and I’m totally worn out from dealing with all the other crap that comes wit me it.
Mate it’s like we are told we have to fit in with society because that’s the norm.why would society fit around us when most ppl cannot be bothered to understand somet they can’t see snd they think it’s a myth.
I had behavioural therapy for over 6 months and christ did he stretch my mind to the max but this did help me understand why and what I do but to also separate the how’s and why’s.in a certain situation what part of that situation was the adhd and what part was me.
Ppl who don’t have adhd and think they know what it’s about write books stating it’s a gift.its not a gift if you wake up to a living hell for the rest of your life.
My psych said adhd is actually hard to help with a lot of meds as adhd is a bit of most parts of autism.
I’ve only read two of your posts but there great and honest.
We do wear our heart on our sleeves and get burnt for it.
Also ppl don’t like the fact we are so honest we’re to the point it actually gets the person your talking to starts to question there being truthful to there own feelings.most feelings truthful to them selves are buried for a reason which can hurt when brought up.
My wife has called all manner of words just for being Honest snd truthful about a situation.
Yup it’s a fxxxcking joke some times living with some one who has no understanding of adhd.
Why do you do this why do you do that.im just tired of explaining.
Don’t be lazy and read the bloody book I got ya I would say to my wife.
I feel you man. I used to be aggressive and defensive. Always being ridiculed. But there’s one thing I always noticed. Nearly all my accomplishments turn out with others mouth left open like, “wtf that’s awesome” I may not always shine since it’s not my time to and I’m ok with that. But when it is my time, I make sure I’m bright and known.
We have the chance to be sad and let others stomp us or we can be appreciative and really see this as a gift because if you put enough work, we can utilize our weaknesses as strengths and having control over the bursts of energy and hyper focus we get puts us at an advantage.
I used to be really cocky and think I’m all that because I had the courage for a lot of things but it wasn’t so much courage lol it was my impulsivity getting me in trouble. Feel blessed that you know that you have ADHD. Cuz even if others believe it or not, it’s better blaming that than other people. Which I would also do because I’m so embarrassed of being accountable of my own actions because I knew I wasn’t fully in control but I’m left with the act still being done.
It’s much better knowing than not knowing so idk, I find laughing at myself to be super helpful too because it really is sometimes funny how erratic I can get
Love y’all, thanks for replying all these great things. This is what makes us stronger. 🥰
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