No 2020 resolutions for me

[michael682]

Hi everyone!

So I’ve been thinking about what new years resolutions I want to make and decided I’m not going to make any.

That’s right..... NONE.

I do not want the pressure of feeling like a failure, I don’t want my girlfriend constantly nagging me about them, I don’t want to feel unaccomplished, I don’t want my inner adhd to freak out.

Instead!

I would like to make ONE promise to myself.

To love myself everyday as I am.

I feel like we get so wrapped up in these resolutions “for some people that’s great” but for others it can be discouraging, depressing, and overwhelming. “As I stare at my girlfriends 2020 resolution board covered in colorful sticky notes with lots of random pen colors”..... closes eyes, turns around and walks away.

Instead I really want to focus on making sure I ACCEPT MYSELF because you seriously can not change much without doing this first. I need to know more about myself and fully love myself before I even think about changing things.

So if you feel on edge and pressure from others to make these resolutions I’ll be the one to tell you right now that YOU DO NOT NEED TO MAKE ANY.

I’m not giving you permission to get lazy, stay asleep and skip out on growing!

I’m tell I you to wake up and really begin to live your life. Feel alive and loved.

What does this mean?

It means instead of making a resolution of journaling for 20 min each day I’m going to spend a little time every day making sure I check in with myself. In any way I see fit! Don’t limit your creativity explore that stuff but set those limits!..... and maybe 3 alarms but not 4 because you know you’re gonna just turn all of them off after the 1st one to prevent being annoyed. 😂🙈 (adhd tunnel vision continues)

I’m gonna make sure I keep my values in check because that is what allows me to love myself.

Am I being as friendly with people? Maybe I need some coffee because I feel a little grouchy while talking to customers.

There’s so much to it and I can’t wait to see where it takes me.

This was supposed to be a meaningful post but ended up becoming a long post that I am hoping will inspire, encourage, and allow someone besides myself to grow or at least feel like they’re not so crazy.

When the day gets hard and you feel lost in thoughts remember this little quote.

"live in the moment and not the future that the mind creates"

-mac

The pic is of a hike I did a while ago and my mind kept repeating all these things that could go wrong. How I could run out of water, my quads could cramp up bad again, I could get hurt and die, I could get eaten by a mountain lion, blah blah blah.

Truth is I was just really bored and my mind fed off the boredom. But how can you get bored if you’re too busy trying to love yourself!?

I’ve got a random question for anyone that’s reading this, do you ever do puzzles? I recently found a love for puzzles and it started with a customer that wanted to laminate a puzzle his 6yo daughter completed. I found myself mesmerized by the edges, the lines, circles, colors, texture. Oh I got so excited! I could feel the excitement and accomplishment the little girl probably felt as she placed that last piece in the correct spot. I recently completed a puzzle that was Christmas themed. I think I wanna try doing it flipped on its back. I wanna let my inner adhd take over for one day. Just me and that puzzle. Really zoning in and finding that inner love for puzzles. What have you brushed off in your life that could make you feel this way!? Ugh I feel so happy and excited to share the above with people. Even if you guys find me crazy 😝

Anyway hope everyone is doing well. Remember to take time to breath and tell yourself it will all be okay.

I am working on being more interactive so feel free to ask questions or write some comments. After all you’ve come this far why not go all the way!

- Michael Clark

[RCJH8610]

Hello Michael,

My name is Jackie and I’m 31 years old. I am a school counselor and NEEDED to hear this. I’ve had ADHD all my life... I was never medicated for it because it didn’t effect my academics. I was a hot-mess regardless. In high school I was put on medication for depression and anxiety... needless to say at the age of 28 and during my first year as a counselor I was EXTREMELY overwhelmed. Too many tasks, no focus to complete anything at 100%. It was then that I sought treatment and have been on Concerta for about a year. It has changed my life for the better in many ways, but I am definitely not cured and struggle daily trying to be ENOUGH. It is refreshing to see I am not alone and to be reminded that having no resolution is perfectly okay. I agree that time is better spent finding out who I am... finding my passions again. Thanks for the reminder and I hope your 2020 is amazing!

Cheers,

Jackie

[michael682 in reply to RCJH8610]

Thanks and you will have to post more about how concerta has helped you! I’m sure many people would love to learn about what tools you’ve developed over the past year that you use with concerta.

Wish you a happy and fun filled 2020

[InThaFlow]

Hey michael682 , great post! I haven’t even finished reading all of it (typical right? Lol) but I had to stop and let you know how much I appreciated what you shared.

I haven’t made any resolutions either and now I do t think I will either. Music (writing and performing) made me feel like this. I did it professionally until a series of crises buried it somewhere seemingly out of reach. Maybe this is the opportunity I’ve been needing to give myself permission to lose myself in it nice again.

[michael682 in reply to InThaFlow]

Do it and let me know how it makes you feel!

[InThaFlow in reply to michael682]

Will do!

[nk1820]

Michael, love your upbeat “no resolution” dissertation. Live in the moment, setting four alarms. Inspiring and self accepting. Thank you!

[michael682 in reply to nk1820]

Glad you enjoyed it!

[Mark_in_Wales_CVA]

Hi Michael,

a great post. I feel, and suspect others do, that with ADHD if we set a significant goal, and achieve it, like say run a half marathon, lose 20lbs, etc. That within a few miliseconds/minutes/hours after achieving the goal our brains move onto the downslope, with thoughts like "what next?" or "here we are back to our normal self!". So the real 'goal' is to find those things that you can achieve everyday, without necessarily making them one particular 'peak' as it were and that you can repeat them, giving that ongoing sense of achievement. For many of us that is finding the job/career/hobby to sustain the feeling.

Puzzles! Hell yes! This is one place where my hyper-focus lives. Once spent 9 hours solid during a Christmas holiday totally absorbed. I am an engineer by trade and my best days are when I have a real 'puzzle' to solve, but these are not everyday - so I do have troughs as well as peaks, which I am trying to shift job/career to bring more consistent peaks. Hyper-focus is real, if you can find where yours lives and exploit it, as somebody once said, it's our Kryptonite, use it and feel amazing!

So I do hope you and others here have a great year without (or with) goals and you can find your own Kryptonite.

Mark

[michael682 in reply to Mark_in_Wales_CVA]

Love this Mark! I wish you the best and know you will find or better yet create a new job for yourself to continually solve puzzles.

[Deetails22]

Hi Michael. I enjoyed reading your post. Thanks for using paragraphs and spaces. So many people just write one huge vent, but I don't have the attention or patience to read them.

I like your resolution for 2020, to love yourself.

I think that can be the biggest challenge with adhd, to keep on loving yourself, despite all our struggles and setbacks. I hope you have a great year.

What really made me answer was PUZZLES. I love puzzles too. I'm especially addicted to playing Words with Friends online. Yesterday I visited a different library and was pleased they had a community jigsaw set up. Another girl joined me after a while and we worked on it happily for nearly an hour.

I think puzzles and games are great icebreakers for adhders. They are also rewarding, giving us a lttle sense of achievement. They make sense, when so much of life is confusing, don't you think?

[michael682 in reply to Deetails22]

I totally agree with you! I feel good and am excited that even though lots of things in my life are not complete or achieved. I know I’ve completed or achieved something even if it’s small as a puzzle, project, or challenge which makes me happy.

[RussiaGirl]

Michael,

Thank you so much for sharing all this. I decided not to make any New Year’s resolutions this year as well, for several of the same reasons as you decided not to make any.

I appreciate what you said about thinking of all the things that could go wrong on your hike. I often find myself thinking of the “worst-case” scenarios as well.

I am very glad to hear that you discovered puzzles!!! I have been doing puzzles all my life, and it is one of my favorite pasttimes, especially during the winter.

I was diagnosed with an attention deficit just under a year ago (not officially a disorder, because I didn’t have these problems in childhood) and did speech therapy earlier this year to help me with my problems focusing, remembering, etc. One of the activities that my therapist recommended was doing crossword puzzles. I have since made it a habit of doing them and I believe that it has helped.

~RussiaGirl