Wanting and just because I can

[Fordette]

Hi

I am new to this site.

I am wondering if others have similar problems with impulsive behaviour.

I am trying to find out why I cannot get motivated to do stuff.

I simply impulse because I can get away with it. I live on my own and there are very little consequences if I spend all day in front of the computer.

I also binge eat. I have IBS, but I still cannot stop eating junk everyday. The problem with my behaviour is that I do stuff simply because I can. I simply just want to binge eat or watch hours of mindless tv etc. There are times during the day usually first thing in the morning that I can can say honestly, I don't actually want to eat chocolate today, but by this afternoon its like my whole brain and body have had a mind shift and I just go and buy chocolate. Once I make up my mind I want to buy the chocolate or whatever, my unconscious mind seems to take over and I lose my self awareness and just follow my impulses. I wonder if others have similar experiences. I don't want to be like this all the time, and I am trying to focus on the advantages of delaying gratification, but everything I try does not work for long. I am posting this in the morning, which seems to me to be the best time to get stuff done, but come this afternoon I will once again want to binge eat or whatever and I won't be able to pull myself out of it. It would be so helpful to find a way for my brain to just not want to binge eat or whatever. That would make all the difference. Example, I don't want to eat chocolate now because its the morning, but by about 4pm I'll be off to the shops.

thanks in advance for any advice

[spagel4]

It is helpful to have an attainable short term goal that requires some behavior change—that may be something else you’d like to do with the money you’re spending. Have an accountability buddy you can call when tempted to remind you of what you want when triggered. Hopefully this short term goal would have long term health effects as well—this would be the reward. It isn’t possible to eliminate behavior, you need to replace them, so do something else when triggered—go on a walk, make a phone call, plan a fun activity with friends, make a healthy meal...eventually this will be your new impulse.

[Hidden]

I have the same problem. I am trying to think of how to stop buying candy in the grocery or now the gas station. I do not have anyone to be accountable to, have an addictive personality and a lot of times my own worse enemy. Sometimes it seems there are so many issues which to work on now. Add is hard to live with. Sorry this didn't sound encouraging . I also stuff my feelings with food or is it feed my feelings, anyway food gets in there. I am sometimes trying to do mindfulness/ meditation but realize when I really want candy I somehow forget I could use that. Ugh. Hang in there Fordette. If we can stop for one day it starts to build a new pathway in our brain and it is easier to pass up next day or time.

[StoneJeweler]

Looks like you need to take control of your body if you want to feel better. Hypnosis works for some people. Food is one of the most important things we have control over, it will not only help your problem but will fix many other things that are not working well in your body. You need to find a real good reason to change all your self-destructing behaviors. Like getting sick and tired of feeling sick tired and your willing to change. Just take it 1 step at a time

[Hidden]

Good words of wisdom. Thanks it gets me thinking.

[theycallnemo]

Hi! Impulsivity is definetly an ADHD thing. Failure to think things through has gotten me in hot water more times than I can count!

Trouble staying motivated can honestly be a lot of things, but in the context of ADHD I would wager executive dysfunction is your issue. If you've ever watched your phone die because you could not get yourself to get up and plug it in like you intended to, there's a good chance this is what you're dealing with.

I'm going to suggest the all too obvious reward system- get something done, reward yourself with computer time, TV time, or a bit of junk food. In the short term, this may be a good solution- add details like doing work in one room and fun things elsewhere, scheduling when you'll work and when you'll watch TV, getting friends to hold you to your schedules,

and using tools like stayfocused to keep you on track.

I'm also going to suggest a therapist or ADHD coach. I've never been to an ADHD coach so I can't give any insight on that front, but therapy can help you figure out what triggers your impulsivity and how to control and redirect it. You may also find that your binge eating is helped by therapy, and you can develop solutions there.

I really wish I could help more but that's really the extent of what I can offer at the moment; I wish you the best of luck though!