Official Assessment Today

[Leenie0811]

Morning,

I am freaking out today is my appointment with the psychiatrist, they called me yesterday to tell me they will be doing the assessment today! So prior to this my GP has told me I fit the cirteria for ADHD and ASD, this is the first step to confirming that and getting my official diagnosis to help with work and study. As part of my job I am doing a degree part time and need additional help with completing my work.

I had a bunch of forms I needed to fill in prior to the appointment and I did sit and procrastinate on those (really regret it now) but I managed to submit them on time at around 1am this morning. The main thing today is that my partner is supposed to be filling in two forms which are to be done by someone who knows you well. I would have picked my mum but shes badly dyslexic and her memory is not so good. I really wish I did pick her now because I phoned my partner today after no reply all evening only to find out that he was annoyed and chose to ignore my calls!

How can someone do this at such a critical point of the process? Yes I understand that the urgency went up dramatically following the appointment being booked just over 24 hours in advance but why would you actively ignore someone who is obviously distressed? I have to work today and because he did not do the forms last night I am checking my email constantly to see if he has responded so I can submit the information. I cannot concentrate on work until this is done, I simply cannot this is all that is on my mind right now.

I've had a cry this morning and now trying to pull myself together for the assessment this afternoon, I have so many mixed emotions right now I just do not know what to do with myself. I really need to have someone with me but all my family live over 3 hours away and my partner is currently in another city preparing to move in with me next week. I am feeling all the feels today, please someone tell me this won't last forever

[Chickadee1]

I feel your stress - I had my appointment for assessment last month - the forms nearly killed me - by the end my brain was about ready to shut down and after the appointment my brain was again fried making me struggle with basic stuff... this stuff is definitely stressful. I hope your partner fills out the forms and that the appointment goes well - the second visit with the doctor was much less stressful for me than the first. It's a big hurdle but you're almost there. Hang in there!

[Leenie0811 in reply to Chickadee1]

Thank you so much! Honestly I’ve felt so alone today with this coming up, he did send the forms over just before lunch which was a huge relief! I tried talking to my mum about how I was feeling but she kept telling me “you won’t know the questions until the appointment so stop stressing over what’s going to happen until it actually happens” I get what she means but it’s easier said than done. I wish I took the day off but I am working from home so that’s helped a little but it was too short notice to put leave in for today. Been waiting for this for so long and I know to most it’s just a piece of paper but my work and studies will benefit hugely. So scared of what they’re going to say I’ve had this when I’ve seen specialists in the past and they tell me it couldn’t be any clearer I have said diagnosis. My brain is just fried if I’m honest!

Only a couple of hours to go now - been on countdown all day. Thank you again for your support it really truly has helped and made me feel less alone or crazy! Xx

[Hidden]

With total compassion towards you… this isn’t all easy, We need support, and education. I’m doing online meetings, listening to professionals, reading reliable sources like ADDitude Magazine… Please be kind to yourself. Break it down into manageable pieces. Feel excited that you’re getting real answers. It’s no longer an unknown. You’re NOT defective in any way! We have brain connections that work differently. Please connect with people to encourage you, and offer useful information. Your new life is beginning, with YOU in control. Knowledge is power. You will know what you need help with. That’s a specific thing, not a shot in the dark. Please let us know how you are!

[Leenie0811 in reply to Hidden]

Thank you so much for your message notflighty! Your words are super kind and made me feel very wholesome this morning This community has been so good for getting to know others in the same situation. I got the official diagnosis yesterday and now I am waiting to start meds but the titration team have a little wait so I think in the meantime I will try and work on accepting the official diagnosis. Being kind to myself doesn't come naturally and theres so much to unpack! Honestly though thank you so much for your kind message xx

[Hidden in reply to Leenie0811]

You are VERY welcome! I’m here, with a deeply compassionate heart. We all need to learn coping skills, brain strengthening, and to embrace who we are. Keep sharing. Contact me anytime!

[Leenie0811 in reply to Hidden]

Thank you so much ☺️ xx

[Hidden in reply to Leenie0811]

You’re welcome!

[Hidden]

Hey! How did everything go? Thinking about you. Hoping that things are falling into place in order to better manage them 😁

[Leenie0811 in reply to Hidden]

Hey thank you for checking in on me, at the end of the appointment they gave me the official diagnosis and said I have a strong genetic connection with ADHD and autism but because our health system is weird in the U.K. I have to go back to my doctor for an official autism diagnosis as this assessment just covers ADHD. So right now I’m trying to come to terms with everything and waiting to be seen by the titration team to start meds. I think I’ll see how I am medicating my ADHD to see if the autism is that bad when I have the right meds etc. but finally I dunno how to describe it I told my partner omg I’m not broken! That “what is wrong with me” I’ve always asked myself I’m now like it has a name and it’s been identified.

My partner has been very supportive and I’m slowly looking at life now in a new perspective, honestly so much to take on and look into but I guess it’s just relief that it’s finally been identified and not put down to anxiety or depression or the we don’t know maybe you’re not trying hard enough… at 29 years old finding out this it’s happy and sad but I feel so much more positive about the future!

Hope you are okay and doing as well as you can be 💛

[Hidden in reply to Leenie0811]

I’m PROUD of you! We are brave facing these issues. Neurotypical people have no clue what stress is! 🤣 I am so happy for you. I agree that there is a sense of relief in knowing what the reasons are, as to why we have the problems or challenges that each of us does! You’re like 30 years younger than me. Happy dance lady 💃🏼! You have an opportunity to get what you need to live YOUR best life. Don’t let anyone discourage you, shame you, or make you feel defective! You are AMAZING! You are COURAGEOUS! This is the beginning of a much better life. Please learn all that you can about what you are dealing with. It’s empowering to understand. Do what works for YOU, whether it’s prescription meds, therapy, mindfulness, exercise… Let your goal be to meet your needs with medical professionals, who treat you with dignity and respect. Who knows how much you may be able to do and enjoy in life once you care for yourself! That’s exciting! The heck with what we couldn’t do in the past. The achievements will be much sweeter now! Way to go!

[Leenie0811 in reply to Hidden]

Aww thank you so much you are so kind! I’m so ready to start working on everything and see what actually works for me. I’ve done a lot of counselling and self help pretty much all my teenage and adult life so I feel like I have the tools but maybe a combination of meds and therapy would help. Honestly it feels like being born again and although only some people know (my mum and partner) I’ve found online communities the best. Maybe I’ll tell work when I’m more comfortable it’s still a bit strange saying it out loud but coming to terms with it all. Waking up to this message has made my morning! Thank you for all your support lovely 💛

[Hidden in reply to Leenie0811]

Any time! We need to have others who understand what we’re going through!

[Amadeus1999]

I’m incredibly lucky to live in a country where these things aren’t required tbh. Whenever I hear people from other countries (especially America) talk about the hoops they gotta jump through to be treated I honestly feel like it’s so needlessly convoluted.

[Leenie0811 in reply to Amadeus1999]

I am in the UK and I think our health system at the moment is so overworked it is hard to get anything in a timely manner due to the virus these last couple of years. Although I am grateful for our national health service something needs to be done as people are waiting sometimes years to be seen by a specialist which really isn't fair. Also I'm not sure where you are from but most of our health insurance policies do not cover pre-existing or chronic health conditions so you either have to have money or wait and use our national health service. There has been a lot of discussion recently around this topic especially in the chronic illness community.

[Amadeus1999 in reply to Leenie0811]

I live in the Netherlands so our health insurance thankfully does cover pre-existing conditions and chronic illness. That is thanks to health insurance being mandatory over here so you only pay the first like 380 bucks each year out of pocket, the rest is pretty much always covered unless it’s some outlandish medication (by the country’s standards anyway, e.g. my Elvanse (Vyvanse cognate) isn’t fully covered but overall I’m pretty happy about our insurance system, if maybe not for the quite exorbitant insurance costs haha.