THIS WEEK END 11yrs ago I I handed myself in to police for not going court it would not come up on computer .
Took in room asked what happenened to you I looked in dispare as I thought I'm not going to prison as the plan was kick off a judge what ever it would take .
Then I thought end I'm fucked as I feel like a grass .
Police said whatever it is you are totally unrecognisable you can't see your whole face is so beaten your hair pulled out so much bald patches they let me sit there starring at the wall and then I told them I I've been sexually abused I was torchered 5 hours told not to make a sound when blows to the head body and to stop bleeding and being a wimp dragged to bathroom put in cold bath wet myself while having to sit there while he is washing blood out dress looked up a blood on ceiling flicked off me hair
Taken back in room made to watch him stick a photo of John Terry on wall and also there was a photo of one of me kids on wall I threw that one away he had not been in my house fort long time .
Then metal bar then blows to body then two counts of rape one jury in old Bailey could not come to decion on . He fell asleep cuddling me he told me while it was all going on I was not doing some thing properly so badly hurt the top of body .my mind was working overtime trying be one step ahead how I'm I going to escape as one violent move of me even putting hands up to head while he stood on it would have been me end . In depth I got out can't write no more as CPTSD is making me feel ill got out naked run Putting a coat on 3 miles no door keys putting had to get in thre w window then realized I'd picked up bag which dress was just dropped dress police stopped me when I said I've been sexually abused as I did say no please after 5 hours I was beaten into submission beggin no was making it worse how the hell I got out was being at 40 put on Ritalin I'm now 54 this might be mixed up not the facts the way I'm write it . 9yrs he got violent sexual preditor 2007 he has parole hearing soon.
In a bad way in me head but the ADHD at its height I have to add a joke to everything that's the thing that kept me alive fast thinking one to one at any age concerntrating hard . If u have ADHD you are entitled to a person in court at your side I was on video link , in the old Bailey and if my concerntrating like I want a ciggertte I could point at card to stop for break I was in mental hospital while court case was gong on because after waiting one yr and half had load grief letters from him . Don't let no one put us down as I never had to point at the card I never stuttered I never had the break as I was clear to this day every detail . Sorry I had to put this up to get it out me head .
Trauma & ADHD
Support to understand ADHD
How my ADHD shows up 
ADHD life
Struggling with potential ADHD realisation
