Here is the story, After a lifetime of suffering from undiagnosed ADHD i was put into a situation that made me recognize the symptoms and its a great relief to finally understand that this life long strugle has not been just a personal failure on my part.
Even though better late than never to find out, the situation now is one where i can not fail and more than that i need to succseed as though i did not have ADHD. And i have no experence with all these self management stratagies.
First, i would like some friends who can understand what i face right now and can say, "I've been there", or "I've done that", or getting down is not getting knocked out - lets get through it.
So here is the difficult situation. I left my house and property and relationships from the past 11 years to move forward with my life as needed. So i, put all my possesions in my truck and trailer and found a camping place to unload and build my trailer into a house. Yet, the unloading, repacking, and organizing is creating a hug problem. Its wearing on me. I keep at it yet, its at the point where i get real bad headaches that feel like i got drunk or just of a rollercoaster ride. It makes the horrible situation even worse. The work is draging on, not moving forward.
I will get through it, i have no choice, yet this is a nightmare. Its like going from ADHD-Awareness kindergarten to collage in two weeks. I need as much ADHDer advice as possible on how you have faced this kind of thing. And if you understand these headaches. When i stop and do not face this situation they go away after a little while, then the story repeats.
I do not want to whine around here, just some choaching from the corner would be nice, because i do not want to get knocked out right now and this round is taking too long and the hits are hard - if you get whats being said there great, because there is no throwing in the towel on this one.
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Freedom-in-ADHD
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5 Replies
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I wish you the best. I see no replies here yet, wanted to reach out and say you are in my prayers and I Know You can get thru your plan. I am married to someone with ADHD and so I have not had the issues you speak about myself. Please keep asking until you get help. I have seen the community here be VERY helpful and supportive. I wish you the sense of gratification only a man on a journey with goals and meaning feels .... feel the sense of pride today in that you have come this far !! And that’s huge. You have taken steps to move to a new mindset. That’s wonderfully brave of you. Take time to breathe deeply each morning and evening and know you are enough. And you also have much to be thankful for. Take the time alone to breathe. All my best wishes.
A nod of respect to you for your move of compasion in responding to encourage me when you saw my desperation had not yet received any response. Your reply came at just the time i needed to hear it (prasie be to the Most High).
May your compasion and support continue to strength and nurture your family and be a blesssing to those whoes paths come near to yours.
I'm in a similar situation as you right now - I was diagnosed juts over a year ago and just completed a huge move to a new place. In some ways moving has helped because it gives me a sense of new beginning - now I have to find new friends and new routines and that's nice because getting diagnosed kinda made me feel like I was becoming a new person and now I feel like I have more room to grow.
On the flip side packing and organizing and travel and keeping track of possessions and details and routines etc. etc..... are HUGE stressors for me. Even just handling the day-to-day unpacking/repacking you have to do as you move from hotel to hotel during travel is a monumental challenge for me with my ADHD - it makes me feel like I've run a marathon while being hungover.
I think your headaches make sense - they're probably the result of exhaustion and burnout at handling immensely draining tasks (I tend to get stomach aches just like this). They probably fade when you take a break and stop taxing your executive skill functions so brutally, and probably come back with a vengeance when you work for too long, too hard.
The best advice I can give you is to accept that everything will take more time than you want it to, and that you should take the time to rest even when it feels like you're not getting enough done. You'll get better at packing and organizing with practice, but practice is slow and painful and you need to give yourself breaks so that pain has a chance to dissipate. If you can, take a day and reflect on your journey and see if you can simplify the parts of your packing routine that give you the most trouble: make lists of the things you need easy access to every night when you stop and keep those things in a bag/location that's easiest to reach, keep a cooler stashed with easy food so you don't have to spend extra time figuring out what to eat when you're tired of setting stuff up every night, stuff like that.
Hope this helps. Good luck with the move! It's a brave thing to undertake, and it sounds like you're kicking ass even with ADHD dragging at your heels
Great! Those who are behind you and around you in a fight can make a big difference for the one fighting. I live it right now, and appreciate all of what you said here.
You hit the nail on the head with the headaches being a warning sign of stress and burnout. I have brought it down a gear even though it seams like things are barly moving, yet i know even a very little, ever now and then, can add up to a better result than freaking - out tottaly!
And thank you for your other good advice and opening up with your own struggles it made a big difference for my phycology. As it is very reasuring to be heard and understood and felt all at the same time. And then, being able to feel what the other person is saying and get reasured that this life-struggle does not need to make me feel like a lonely outcast suffering some kind of never ending consequence for some bad mistakes in my past (so to say).
Indeed this is a serious situation facing us and challenging our lives in a way that we have no choice but to overcome with the determination of this challenge becoming a trainning ground instead of a battle ground. To accheive this transition would seams to be the difference between gaining real self growth and positive charater molding; vs becoming the toughened burden carrier for my own hardships.
Surly by walking with wisdom, and self-awareness, while being lead by the All Mighty this is Possible for us to find freedom with ADHD.
Thank you agian, All the best to you on our glittering flight.
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