Maturity vs Immaturity: Hi everyone... - CHADD's Adult ADH...

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Maturity vs Immaturity


Hi everyone,

I am Maddie and I am new to this community. I am 18 years old, if anyone else here is 18 please HMU or in their early 20’s. I need more friends, my friend doesn’t get mental illness. She just says I’m sorry, it’s not enough. I think she is too conceded to understand mental illness and it sucks. I have depression and anxiety as well as ADHD. I have a hard time focusing on ADHD and my doc wants to put me on Strattera in the middle of a crisis so side effects will suck considering I will be stuck in my house. Anyone have a good experience with Strattera to give me hope? This means a lot during such a trying time.

10 Replies

I feel so immature because of my ADHD, does anyone else feel this way.

Hey anxiousoutcast,

First, relax 🙂. I get you.

I joined about a week ago and haven’t found interest in adding to the community. Something with your post called my attention.

I understand your feeling of immaturity. From my research, it’s due to our brains developing at a slower or different rate than the expected or whatever lol. It’s considered a normal thought for us with ADHD. It’s you realizing that you’re different than your age group.

I personally have not been on any medication for this since I’m in the process of getting diagnosed barely. I was treated and diagnosed at a younger age but things changed for me when I turned 9.

Dad passed away, mom panicked, brother and sister confused. I have been untreated since and unaware. I feel taken advantage of and emotionally abused. I also suffer with substance abuse from meth and it’s not fun. I’m miserable.

All that said, regardless of everything I just said. It’s important to practice faith in yourself and get in the habit of looking at the sun rise everyday and forget that nightfalls exist. I see the beauty in Everything in front of me. I think highly of myself too. you know you, others don’t. Look at this weakness of ours as a strength, that is freaking key. As hard as it may be at first, keep trying until it finally hits you and you fully understand how its your strength, once you got that, the world is yours. Im burning out now hahaha but lastly, love yourself. Love yourself as much as possible. i didn’t know what that meant for so long and always thought and said I was. I only recently learned what it means, accepting the fact that whatever it is that I’m doing, is not for me, was hard. Then, I was left with asking myself, wtf do I even want? If I had not continued going to treatment for my substance abuse problem, I wouldn’t have had the balls to start looking into my main issue, ADHD and I wouldn’t be here throwing my head all over this post. Everything I’ve been through, put up with, never understood, got angry for, cried for, been evil for, put my best in, it was all to get me ready for what I want.

I have something special, something not just anyone can ever have. It’s not something everyone wants and it’s not something everyone needs. But I have the ability to change an addicts life. Because when it comes to meth addicts, we are stubborn sons of bitches, no one can dig in our heads and give us back that sense to see how much harm is being done to ourselves.

Ok I’m really about to break down XD. A lot of stimulation for one post. My point with all that is, remind yourself of your purpose, if you don’t have one, find one, it’s there and you WILL find it. There’s no right or wrong answer, but a hint is, it’s whatever makes you smile the moment you wake up and follow up with telling yourself I love you, let’s have a badass fucking day.

I believe in you, even though I don’t know you. You got this, don’t let COVID-19 distract you from what’s more important in your life. You. If you follow good hygiene and work on some of the things I suggested that work for me, COVID-19 will stay away. The virus thing is temporarily and we humans always find a solution. But you, you are forever. I hope everything goes well for you.

🥵😁 peace out, remember that the sun shines even on the darkest of days.

Hope I helped somehow lol 😀

Hey anxiousoutcast,

I’m also 18 (and new to the community) and I understand how you feel with your friends as I also have adhd, anxiety, and I’ve had times of depression after tearing my acl last year. When I am with my friends since I told them about my diagnosis I can’t help but feel that they look at me differently, so I get you completely and I know it sucks. Back in January my doctor started me on strattera because they wanted to try a non stimulant drug to see if that helped my adhd. The thing with strattera is that it takes about two weeks to start working and it has a 50% fail rate. For some, it works really well and for others it doesn’t work at all. For me strattera didn’t really work but that could also be because they had me on the lowest dose. I noticed myself focusing a little bit better but it did not help my impulsivity or hyperactivity (my leg shakes like crazyyyy) and it made me really tired throughout the day. When I went back to the doctor last week they started me on Vyvanse and that has worked so much for me in managing my adhd. I would say try the strattera because it may work for you and if you ever need someone to talk to about mental health you can reach out to me on here :) Best of luck!!

I am a 43 year old female with a 12 yr old daughter, while I am not 18 I thought my perspective could be of help. I struggled my whole life with being different, not being able to pay attention, getting made fun of for being "slow to catch on" and being too hyper for people to handle, talk too much, etc., the list goes on. Through my 20's I learned through many many self help books and tools to accept me for who I am, my struggles and all. I am a really creative artist, I got a degree in dance - anything art I am immersed in and I am also extremely into phsychology and worked with children with autism for a long time, I love being me and spending time alone writing, reading, drawing, it refreshes me.

Fast forward to now, age 43, I was diagnosed with ADHD a mere 6 months ago! I had no idea until my daughter was diagnosed at age 11 and many talks with her phsychiatrist it occurred to me this is why I struggled so much growing up. Now that I know, many pieces are falling into place - this is why I was made fun of so much growing up, as an adult though it is not noticed as much.

However, I teach in a new school this year and have been open with my new diagnosis with my new peers and have very sadly, and suprisingly in a school, experienced even adults judging me and treating me differently once learning of my new diagnosis. It started the people making fun of me again. So I have since stopped being so open about it. It is amazing how people no matter the age can be cruel. Careful who you talk to and what thoughts you choose to allow in your brain.

Sadly, in this world today there are still a lot of people who don't believe in ADHD, including my co-workers who work with ADHD diagnosed kids all day long grades k-5! Of course it's not all the teachers, but I was shocked that any of them had a lack of understanding to the degree that they would treat me differently, and as adults too. And then, I too, before I started having struggles in raising my daughter, I too did not believe in ADHD. It took me from her 2nd grade to 6th grade of taking her to Dr's trying to figure out why she struggles so much and what was going on before getting a diagnosis. But a mom knows and I didn't stop searching till I could get her help and it all makes sense, all the research. So people are still highly uneducated about ADHD.

Understandably there is this need/want to understand your self and be understood by others. I was born in the 70's, no one saw ADHD as a real thing which is why I was never diagnosed and expected I was "normal", whatever that is, lol. Just be careful who you choose to let in your world. Choose that which you love - walk away from that which you don't.

As far as this COVID stuff we are dealing with, while I would rather this happen under different circumstances, I am really grateful for the social distancing right now. It is giving both my daughter and I a much needed break from all the demands of life and people that we get so easily overwhelmed with and we can do things on our own terms at our own pace, I am grateful for the break. What are ways you can be grateful for amidst this? Also, distancing yourself from all those who are letting the energy of fear and chaos get to them. Stay grounded - don't let in all that energy, don't watch the new or be on a ton of negative social media where others are venting their fears, doubts, and worries, that will only add to your overwhelm which is easy to do when you have ADHD . Focus on what you love and take this time to flourish in those things and people you love! Careful who you let influence your head space. Because honestly, it doesn't have to be mentally ill (carries such a negative conotation), it CAN be mentally joyful if you choose to see it that way. I love who I am, I love that I have ADHD because I am smart and super creative and I don't think I would be if I didn't have ADHD.

Thank you for hearing my thoughts - I wanted to keep it short and then, that rarely happens with me and my ADHD mind, lol.

PS, my daughter and I are both on medication now and it has been the best thing for us. It is not the one you are going to try but from the previous post it sounds like a good one to try, you have a 50/50 chance and if its good for you it could be what you have been looking for!

So much love and light to you!

in reply to June5

I'm a 48 year old single mom! I really appreciated your response. Childhood in the 1970s definitely wasn't easy with ADHD. I had to learn everything about myself through reading and self help after getting diagnosed in my 30s. I'm enjoying the social distancing too since it feels somewhat "normal " for me!

If the Strattera doesn't work, don't give up! There are lots of options! Adderall works for me. Embrace this time away from the world to learn more about yourself and your mind. If you haven't already read Delivered from Distraction, you should. I cried tears of relief when I read it and realized that I'm not crazy or alone. It made so much of my life make sense to me!

I’d love to be your friend.

in reply to dannygirl23

Why does age matter lol cant we all just be friends?

Hi Maddie,

I had a therapist tell me once you can spend your whole life trying to explain mental illness to others and ultimately you just wind up exhausting yourself. I wanted to share that because it is true, at least for me. Finding a community of people who understand has been super helpful for me but it can be frustrating. Remember you are Maddie. You just so happen to have a unique brain like me. I am still me though.

I’m in my late 20’s and hope this helps you in some way

Lots of people have told me in the last and now really understanding what they mean that your lucky to have a handful of people you can call true friends before you die because people are not who you always think they are

Friends are overrated and are people you talk to and benefit from one another and usually under circumstances everything needs to be “equal” and when dealing with ADHD and people that dont understand mental health, usually doesn’t provide any positives and may be better just to focus on yourself because no one will care for you more than you and most likely your mother only two people i was ever able to rely on.

Not to be negative or anything but i bring this up because before diagnosed with adhd i didn’t know the difference between being selfish and self-care. As you think your selfish just remember that you have to take care of yourself also and not the world first.

So most of all, I dont have friends but people who aren’t related to me by blood that i call family because that’s what they mean to me. Finding people who want the best for you genuinely or look out for you without judgement or try to find ways to help or improve you are people I consider family. Even someone can be related to me and I wouldn’t consider them family as there are grimy people out there that would do so much for so little. Even a lifelong “friend” can betray you years down the line but family will always be there even if they mess up but make it right.

Don’t let someone’s ten second opinion of YOUR life effect how YOU LIVE cuz its YOUR life not theirs. If they dont understand they dont understand. Not all tools are sharp. Some people will make you feel their opinion is the only right one and make you second guess/ question yourself but know remember this is your life and if you need to learn a small lesson to remember not to do something, its better than the mental anxiety from going back and forth trying to please others and be perfect. No one is perfect.

Focus on you and more self-care rather than thinking your selfish or immature cuz the older you get you need to be able to take care of you. Your friend is not going to financially feed you with their opinions and their ten minute opinion or comments shouldn’t effect how you live life. Slow down and think about it as it took me a while before understanding a lot of things I’m saying that helped me improve and get my own life together.

I just started vyvanse and it was a life changer for me. Just follow your doctor and be open about everything that’s happening and if you dont feel a certain med is right for you be sure to talk and not be shy as meds are usually trial and error and everyone works different and just needs to find what’s best for them dosage and type of meds.

Just try to start low dose if your young cuz tolerance can increase fast. Ive read people who were on vyvanse long time stop working so I’d hate for that to happen to me especially if i increase my tolerance on a doseage i didnt need at that time.

Wish all the best and stay safe during this pandemic.

Practice social distancing and avoid people with prehealth issues and wash your hands

(Unless custom fitted, face mask dont work unless your in the medical field working to prevent spread or a confirmed diagnosed covid patient )

Sorry for the 50 pg these paper but I’m sure most ADHD people would understand the anti social social part of ADHD lol all in the hopes to help someone positively but always talk to your doctors first (MD, phycologist physiatrist or therapist etc)

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