Hello, world.
Probably I need to tell a bit of my story first. I'm now 38 years old, I was self-diagnosed with ADHD, when I was 36, and my diagnosis was confirmed by specialist in 2022 (there was no point in doing it before, because treatment in Ukraine was unavailable for adults and barely available for children). I remember my state of shock, when I was passing the test for the first time and it was literally describing my life. I guess, you know the feeling.
My house and my life were a constant mess. I was never able to leave home without forgetting things. I regularly forgot to pay the bills, and my procrastination was sky high. I could postpone unpleasant things and decisions for ages, until it became dangerous.
It was 2020, I was still living in Ukraine. When I realized, what was happening with me all my life, I managed to organize some coping strategies for myself. I hired a trustworthy person for cleaning up, though for the first time she came I was dying of shame. I found some workarounds and life hacks for my regular life. I had a wonderful job with the activities and the schedule, which were perfect for my ADHD, and my effort was appreciated. But now it's all gone.
I'm a single mom of two daughters, and both of them also have ADHD. My elder daughter had the mild form, which was successfully compensated with time, because I had ADHD and her father didn't, though some issues still remain. The situation with my younger daughter is much more difficult, because both me and her dad have ADHD (her diagnosis was also confirmed by psychiatrist), and I also suppose that she has Asperger, because she has major problems with socialization and different kinds of social interactions.
Last April I had to take my daughters and flee away from home because of the war. I chose the most close option and we went to Romania. Here I managed to find an apartment, and a very nice job. But overall I am sometimes feeling desperate. When I was living at home the challenges were overwhelming, now they became terrifying.
My younger daughter is 11, she is now studying at home online. She had an experience of severe bullying at school in Ukraine and she is working with psychologist. There is no support of neurodivergency in public schools here in Romania, and there was no support in Ukraine.
Trying to cope with life now takes all my inner resource, I am literally drained, and my worst fear is to fail my daughter. Because I have no support here and I cannot give her all the attention that she needs. My top priority for now is to protect her from the world and keep her safe. But I understand that her lack of socialization will be a major problem in her future. She has absolutely brilliant mind, and she is a gifted artist. But I know that she needs support and development.
I'm also thinking about the long perspective of our lives. I'm not sure that my native country will be a safe place for my children at least for the next decade, and I want to give them a better life. I never thought about the immigration before the war, but as soon as we are already away from home, I started thinking. I'm not sure if I chose the country correctly or maybe there is a better place for us out there somewhere.
So thank you, dear survivors, for reading my story until this point and not getting distracted, I appreciate this very much. 🙃 Here is my question.
Please share your experience and tell me, if there is any kind of support for neurodivergent adults and kids in your country? Is it possible to find an employer who values your benefits and understands your challenges? I know that in many countries schools are now thriving for inclusion and support but it was not like this when I was growing up. My ADHD was not treated and now I have to live with it and to raise my children. So first of all I'm interested in support for adults. Maybe there is a country where it may be easier to cope with life, and I just don't know about it? Maybe it is possible to make my challenges bearable?
I'm sorry for possible mistakes and mistypings, English is not my native language after all. 😉
This is my first attempt to reach out to someone, and I'm feeling vulnerable, so please be gentle.