Grrrr........my mother!!!😣

[lovedogs51511]

Fell into a serious depression staying in different room all day. Hiding in bedroom. Everything I do is so wrong, totally unlike her so I'm always always at fault!!! Omg everyone I feel like screaming since I got here. Only yesterday in the lake was things somewhat fine. I'm still wrong for having mental illnesses so if she gets me down its never her frustrating me its ALWAYS ME BEING A MENTAL HEALTH SUFFERER!!! That stigma is always rubbed in my face like I'm being so impossible I'm wrong every time. Omg I want out of here since the day I got here!!!! The extreme issue is I depend on her for everything cause I can't drive, have no vehicle, no license, no job just disability check. I basically wish for death every moment I breathe to be very honest. I try and be happy try to be positive but I basically am so sick of being treated like a second class citizen if that!!! That's saying it nicely too. Sick of feeling I'm wrong for dealing with this shit or I'm so worthless is rather die so they wouldn't have to deal with "the burden" me obviously. Anyhoo I need to scream but can't. Basically just waiting to go home to be happy again. Hope you all had a blessed day with happy thoughts😀💝🙏

[LaShell]

Hang in there ! sending you peace, love, and comfort ... oxo oxo

[lovedogs51511 in reply to LaShell]

I need serious prayers LaShell!!! Lol thanks xoxo ill take all the peace and love i can get!!

[LaShell in reply to lovedogs51511]

Do you have a dog ? I have pugs, and they are the best companion I've ever had. I'm blessed to have them in my life. "Pug love" has gotten me through many hard times. I don't know what I'd do without them ! oxo oxo

[lovedogs51511 in reply to LaShell]

I haven't been able to have a doggie in 7 years! The longest most loneliest years of my life!!!! I miss my last dog I had!!! Her passing almost killed me. I've been broken hearted since. Haven't been able to find apt that takes dogs. Can't afford one either. Its been absolutely miserable! I totally understand how loving and wonderful dogs are!!! That's why my username is Love dogs!!! Lol. Hoping and praying to be able to have another best friend soon!!!

[HadEnuf]

Seems like she is more a part of the problem than of the solution, sowing defeat as if it were possible to reap something else from it.

So what if you're “crazy”: her behavior is insane, by comparison.

[lovedogs51511 in reply to HadEnuf]

Lol yes her behavior is insane! You got that right!!! Lol. The problem I have is I'm depending on her for everything right now. I'm going thru CNA classes in The fall so then ill be able to get a job. Till then life is Hell! Counting down till I go to,school. I'm way to old for this s..t! I'm so tired of mental health issues. Hope all is well with you!

[samjon1]

Good to share because it helps us to know we have done nothing wrong , its the sickness causing it otherwise I feel leaving home and hide alone somewhere. Medicines have relieved my condition to bearable, do you take yours?

[lovedogs51511 in reply to samjon1]

Yes I take like 5 different meds to deal with these problems. Its a pain in the you know what! But like you said it makes life bearable except when I'm around my mother!!!! I always feel like running off to the middle of nowhere to stay and never come home. I can't deal

[lovedogs51511 in reply to lovedogs51511]

with life anymore. It can be tough most days! Hope your doing great!!!

[Lovinit]

I just got off the phone with my mother, I disappointed her and you know I hate it. Now for the past two hrs playing in the back of my mind over and over that I disappointed her, “ I bad”. It’s sad, I don’t think she understands how she affects me

[lovedogs51511 in reply to Lovinit]

I completely understand how you feel. My mother affects me in the worst ways. She drives me absolutely insane!

[Lovinit in reply to lovedogs51511]

My brothers relationship with my mom is no problem but I think because of my ADHD (not spoken or supportive or knowledgeable of) she doesn’t understand or have compassion or is loving to me talking me up on my talents even if they don’t interest her and letting me know that we all have our own struggles in life and it’s okay

[Lovinit in reply to lovedogs51511]

But their our mothers, as sad as it is I know she loves me and wants the best for me. She broke me, I forgive her, but doesn’t know what she does and how it hurts me. If anything, it’s her I’m sure who is hurting too because of the way I am and not the way she wants me to be

[lovedogs51511 in reply to Lovinit]

That is soooo true. So happy you said that. I totally agree with you on that!! Thanks for taking the time to talk with me on this cause now I don't feel so alone. She stopping by today and I'm trying to tell myself don't let her get to me. My mom is completely clueless to how she hurts me too. So frustrating. What I hate is when she does the same things I do with ADHD I'm mental but she's always wonderful. Drives me batty! I think I got the ADHD from her! She does things of someone who's got it. I try and talk to her about little stuff but every time she just gets up and walks away from me. How rude is that? Anyhoo, I just hope I can stand her for a few minutes today! Wish me luck!!!🙏🙏

[Lovinit in reply to lovedogs51511]

Yep! Same here except with my mom she never shuts up! She doesn’t listens. She just talks and talks and talks. It’s really just a one way conversation, pisses me off! But again in the end I feel like the right thing for me to do is know she is not changing she’s my mother and I love her so I will treat her with kindness and let her be her. When I do and i don’t let it bother me our time together ends up with us getting along and happy

[lovedogs51511 in reply to Lovinit]

Hi there! I agree with you about respecting your mom and I do with my mom and love her so much. She's always been there thru very bad times and good times. My moms the total opposite mine doesn't talk that much but she just walks away when I try to talk to her. I thinks she's got ADHD and that's where I got it. I actually told her to please listen to me and I told her exactly how I felt and hopefully she won't do the same things that bug me and I try to be a better person too! Hoping for the best.

[Lovinit in reply to lovedogs51511]

Thanks for sharing and listening, I’ve don’t get to have anyone around me to talk with and I’ve been struggling on staying balanced flow with work chores fun and self care. I wish to have more people in my life for support

[happy_kitty]

I think everyone has a grievance against their mother at some point. Mine is a total workaholic wich on it’s own is fine, but she expects everyone else to be one too. So when I get distracted or lost in thought or even just take more than 5 minutes of break/ not do other work during my break, she tells me I’m being lazy and/or not working hard enough. She is also constantly comparing me to herself. She always saying “When I was your age...” to which I always respond “Well I’m not you!” She usually responds with a dirty look.

Anyway, my point is lots of people have trouble with their mom, especially ADHD people. Your 3 main options would be

1 grin and bear it

2 try to explain the problem to your mother and hope they don’t take it the the wrong way

3 strike out on your own or find another family member or friend to live with

Best of luck with watever you choose to do!

[lovedogs51511 in reply to happy_kitty]

Omg yes she's a lot like that. She's got all the signs of ADHD as well! Workaholic is my mom too. Thanks for your message. Was wonderful to not feel alone with,this!! She'll do the same things I do but if I do it I'm mental but if she does it she's just wonderful. I'm like oh heck no that's total b.s. If I try to help with anything she just grabs stuff out of my hands and does it herself! Ugh I can't stand her most days. She's coming by tomorrow and I'm already,trying to calm down and just from and bear it like you said. I've tried telling her it bothers me but she'll just start crying and make me feel once again that its always my fault for being difficult! God I pray I can deal with her! Plus my dads in Iowa 6 months so she wants me around her but when he's home she treats me like a second class citizen. Unbelievable! Sorry for complaining but I'm just super frustrated! Thanks again for your story!

[HadEnuf in reply to happy_kitty]

If Mom is a “total workaholic” and gave birth to a kid with ADHD, there is a VERY high probability MOM has ADHD.

I don't know many people with ADHD who are lazy: we generally have to work harder than everybody else, just to keep up, because we have so much more (mental) work to do, even in what looks to others like an idle moment. What others don't even know they're ignoring requires a lot of work to ignore when one can't do so subconsciously.

[lovedogs51511 in reply to HadEnuf]

Lol I told her to listen to me I was so fed up and I told her what was driving me nuts!! I told her exactly what you said. I said just cause I take pills doesn't mean I'm the only one with this. I said you drive me nuts!!! For example I went to blow up an air mattress to go to the lake to help. What does she do she rips it out of my hands and does it herself!! I just got up and walked away. Since then we're getting along great!! Lol. I agree with you on what you said!!! Oh I drive her nuts too but I'm sick of everybody thinking its just me who's got these issues!!!

[dgs2018]

Hi lovedogs,

Hang in there and know that you can do it until you start your CNA classes. You have a plan and you're capable of getting the job done. In the meantime, maybe you can make sure you're giving yourself credit for what you do right, since your mother doesn't seem capable of that. Small victories still count. Keep at it.

[lovedogs51511 in reply to dgs2018]

Oh thank you so much!! Your too kind dgs218!!! That was a great message!! Made my day!! I talk to my mom and we're doing great now thankfully. She's got all the signs for ADHD like me. Ugh. Lol. All is going great now!! Thank you. Hope your doing good!! Have a beautiful day!!😀😎🙏 God bless😀