About my problem

[Shyone97]

Hi, I'm from San Antonio and I'm only 20 going to be 21 soon. I honestly dont know myself very well like I used to, happy, smart, laughable but lately I've been storing my emotions due to being hurt a lot and getting negative making me fake on the outside but feel more unhappy in the inside. I tried whatever I can to gain it back but nothing, I'm suicidal. There are time where i want to kill myself but than i dont want to, its like the feeling "What would it be like if i didnt exist anymore?" Ive taken depression pills but its a 50/50 chance it works, I usually stay silent because of it. I keep others happy than myself, lately everyone has been finding out about it and I shut myself down from everyone else because I didnt want others to help me it didnt feel right for me. I would get upset because everyone didnt like to see me cry making it worse for me, I would want to hang out but whenever I want to everyone seems busy the last minute or that i dont have anyone to talk to so i just stay in my room. I would like to say other things about myself but Im new and it feels awkward for what im putting or posting on here.

[Cmiceli]

Please tell someone IRL who cares about you and ask them to help you.

Honey, I’m old enough to be your mom and please believe me when I tell you these things because I’ve lived them.

You are not alone.

Everyone has felt this way at some point.

It gets better. So much better.

Someone out there treasures you and considers you to be the blessing in their life.

You are so very young and you have so many, many, many wonderful experiences coming up in your life. We all have our crosses to bear, so to speak, but fortunately we don’t have to bear them alone. You took a great brave step in reaching out here. Continue to be brave and reach out in person to someone you know.

You will one day look back on this time and realize how wonderful your life has been since you worked through the rough time. You can do this.

[happy_kitty]

Hello Shyone97,

I have been i your shoes before. I know the feeling. You are not alone. You can always find someone who cares but you need to reach out. It was a good first step reaching out online but like cmiceli said you need to reach out in person. The worst thing you can do is push people away. You may want to protect them but shutting them out only hurts everyone more.

You can get through this! It may seem impossible but it’s not. I find that listening to the right music can help me a lot when im feeling down. Also trying something new can be a good way to get out of a slump.

Other things that help... Going outside, particularly on a sunny day, sunlight increases serotonin levels and just getting out of your house can help shake the trapped feelings that come with holeing yourself up. Exercise is also good to get the blood flowing and the brain up and running. Doing something productive can also help. It doesn’t have to be much but that feeling of accomplishment can lift your spirits.

Hope that helps!

[Gus51]

Hello Friend,

When it rains,

all birds occupy shelter,

but the eagle avoids the rain by flying above the clouds....

Problem is common to all,

But the ATTITUDE to solve the problem makes all the DIFFERENCE....

[dgs2018]

Shyone 97,

Sorry to hear about your difficulties. If you were able to get an honest assessment of those around you concerning your strengths, you would find that you have many and perhaps you should give yourself credit for those. Write them out if you have to. And yes, definitely consider talking to a friend who will listen and not say anything until you are done speaking. You will one day be "middle age" and then "old". Then you can reflect on how you rose above the dark days, and even find something positive in all the garbage you waded through.

[Ou812222]

Hi also could be my son ha ha I don't have kids,you're that young I was exactly same way at 20 years old unfortunately I was suffering from clinically Depression for 6 months I did try everything a year and I mean everything were brain scans you name it I did one year I felt physically sick mine also and for me all the talking in the world and support didn't get me out of that hole, I'm 51 year female from Maryland and pretty much my experience was only relief was antidepressant medicine the right one is a game changer I was suicidal and thoughts every day were as you say your illness not your life if I'm understanding it correctly I didn't get rid of my life just the illness at my age of 51 also with menopause so I can see how you mention about hesitant about saying certain things I understand that also to put everything on this webpage I would suggest if this continues and you have no relief which feels like forever maybe mention some genetic testing on antidepressant medications to see which one might help for you, not all insurances cover this can be helpful and speeding up the progress if you are in fact in a clinical depression were medication may be required just trying to help😎 PS also I do know how extremely hard also if your mind is suffering too is when you feel so bad being an advocate for yourself so I truly feel that you need something done unless I not understanding hearing the whole picture maybe just going by what you have written am I in personal experience everyone's different I'll follow your post to see if maybe I can be any help this is also the first time I've ever written on a board before not much into social media