Spouse of ADHDer - need help to cope

[Crobes]

I have a spouse who was diagnosed with ADHD as a child and later as an adult but refuses to get treatment. I’m at my wits end trying to cope. He can’t finish any project he starts. He has no patience with our 1 yr old or 4 yr old. He constantly yells and swears at the 4 yr old. He stays home as the care giver. He has to be reminded about all his appointments to the point where every doctor and dentist has my number to call me as he can’t return their calls or show up to appointments. He waits until the last minute to do everything and often doesn’t get it done even after constant reminders from me. So I have to then rush to get it all done. He brings home useless items from goodwill and hoards the stuff all over the house. He throws his trash all over his car, like uneaten food, wrappers, and it’s completely unsanitary for the children. Is this ADHD behaviors? I need to know how others cope. Thanks!!

[Kleonzo]

I have an adult add daughter and need help coping as well. Sounds like many same symptoms. Hope someone with insight replies

[Tkyo]

That sounds like a tough situation. I recently had a conversation with a loved one to encourage them to seek a diagnosis. It went something like this...

I care for you and have been watching you struggle. I know that something is holding you back from reaching your potential and preventing you from being happy. You are an intelligent person who tries so hard to make things work. I want what is best for you. It is not your fault, but I believe it is a medical condition, or a brain chemical imbalance. Its not you, but a chemical imbalance similar to depression.

I offerred to go to the doctor with him. He agreed!!! I let him know that i admired his courage as it takes a lot of courage to take steps to move forward. I am very proud of him and let him know I would walk alongside him in his journey.

Good luck and prayers are with you.