always the victim

[Zentime]

My 10 yo son diagnosed with ADHD and anxiety is always complaining about how he is always treated unfairly or unjustly by classmates and teachers and when questioned he claims nothing is ever his fault. Even often times exaggerating stories that I find out later aren’t true. I don’t understand this behavior and am unsure what to do to stop it. Any suggestions?

[Aspen797]

I think our kids often struggle with social skills/pragmatic language skills. The ability to appreciate others perspectives is one we take for granted, but for many it has to be taught. Sometimes the actions and reactions of others is truly confusing to our kids. Perhaps that may be the case with yours? When it is confusing, your choices are to blame yourself or find fault in someone else. With enough negative interactions. I think at some level it’s normal to try to preserve your self esteem and not blame yourself? The answer lies in gaining perspective taking skills. A speech therapist can assess and help.

[PeachPits]

I see some of the same negativity and chronic low self esteem in mine. Reading books and learning to leave your own perspective, in order to see things from another person’s point of view was always helpful for me as an undiagnosed child, but mine don’t voraciously enjoy reading as I did… /: So hard to teach them empathy, understanding, and to help them not take every interaction as the WORST most EXAGGERATED position of reality.