Hi!
Looking for advice about teaching responsibility and trust when it comes to money. Our 16 year old has recently spent too much of his own money on things I’m embarrassed to list. He has a debit card that we’re going to take away because it was a mistake to think he could handle it.
I’d still like him to learn how to budget the money he earns at his job. Help!😅
You are not alone in this area, in fact most kids/adults need to learn these skills.
In high school there is usually a Finanical math class he will have an option to take. I know this is not much of help now.
Our son has a credit card and we monitor everything he buys. He has been reasonable, but he takes medication which really makes a difference. Impulse control impacts our kids even when they are becoming an adult.
Hope you find some answers that help.
Thanks for your ideas. My son is on meds which def helps, but his first instinct is to lie and sneak what he wants even when he knows it’s not the right choice.
We put a daily limit on the debit card and will monitor the usage. I guess I was hoping he’d want to be smarter with his own money. Not sure he’s got the control. Everything needs to be immediate which feels uneasy for future opportunities.
Thanks for your response. This journey is very hard.
One thing that has helped me is understanding, I should not compare our son to a child without ADHD.
Understanding the root of why they lie helps a lot.
Here is an article about lying:
understood.org/en/articles/...
Unfortunately, until they are mature enough they continue to make these mistakes.
Best of luck with dealing with this situation.
Take care.
you can attach his debit card to a green light card, so that you can manage the money a bit and he can have more restrictions but still have access to some of his money. We have had these for about 2 years now and love them for allowance for our kids.
Love green light card! We also use this for our 9 y/o. I really like that you can place money in different categories. All last year whatever money he earned he would put some towards his disney saving category and the rest to whatever he wants to spend on. I just try and guide a bit when I see it's something cheap he wants to buy/would get bored with easily.
My son has two accounts, one is a savings and one is a checking. We have a rule that he splits his money 50/50 between the accounts. I do not judge what he spends his money on, but I do guide him to try to make sound decisions.
Hi, Are there some things that he cannot afford now that he spent a bunch of money? Sometimes the “natural consequences” can work well here. Good luck with this. It is an important skill and not easy!
we let ours make mistakes and then had conversations about it. I used to tally up her total spend for a month so she could see how the small lunches and clothes add up to a lot. A key was that she had a job and it was her money she was blowing, not ours. Over time, she’s gotten better. She still needs to hand over money she wants to save to us because she just can’t help but spend it, but that was her realization, not ours. She’s becoming more self aware and while for a while she just wanted to spend, spend, spend, she’s matured and is t doing that any more.
My son voiced the same thing, how tempting it is and he should have another account for saving, but they all seem to just hook up to one another& give him the ability to transfer.
I’ll check out the Greenlight card or maybe open a separate savings so he can budget and I can give him a weekly allowance from his paychecks.
It’s comforting to hear with time and maturity these impulses can get better and he will be more self aware.
Thanks for sharing!
I set up an account in my name, but labeled it for her. She can’t see it and doesn’t have control over it. She has to tell me how much she wants to put in and I give her updates on the total. We expect her to co ntribute 2k per year to college tuition and she almost has it for freshman year and will have enough by September plus savings for other expenses. If she hadn’t handed it over she 100% would have spent it all. I would like her to get to the point where she has the self control to manage it, but at least we have a system, we talk about the importance of saving and she can see that she was able to reach a goal. Every kid is different. Some will just take a little longer to get the self control. In the meantime, we hope we are helping her establish a habit.
As controversial as Dave Ramsey can be, his money advice is solid. We've raised our kids on financial peace and I am a minimalist so stuff just isn't their thing. Country living also helps with the availability of spending options.
We have the Greenlight Debit card for necessities. You are not alone, my 16 year old has little sense of how things add up, impulsive buying on stupid stuff, so we are not there yet either.
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