Stealing Money from Mom

[Janice_H]

Hello, is anyone else experiencing their child with ADHD stealing? Recently I discovered my 12 y.o. has been stealing money from me. I initially thought that I was just not keeping track of my spending. I would find money missing from places I hid it and my things would be rummaged through. Yesterday when I asked about it, he denied taking the money. Later in the day I made him write a 2 page letter about why he should not steal from his mother. He admitted to taking money from me to buy junk food in school. Please, any advice will help. I don't want his behavior of stealing to escalate to something more serious.

[Hidden]

Well, crap. I'm not sure I have any advice, but I wanted to give you a big HUG! i With my daughter I think she gets an impulse, does it and then it gives her a little thrill. Our kiddos are definitely prone to risky behavior and it is SO scary. My daughter likes to hide things from me in her room and tries EVERY.SINGLE.DAY to take things to school that are not allowed. I have to search her backpack every morning. We talk about it in family therapy and our therapist helps us figure out what to do because it's hard to punish them for an impulse but at the same time they have to understand that what they are doing is wrong! UGH, I think it's the hardest thing we have to do!

[d0224]

I also had my 12 yr old son (which was last summer) taking money using my debit cards when I was sleeping to buy things for games on xbox. He has ADHD and has also been diagnosed with depression. He is medicated and has therapy but it’s been a long road. Dealing with their impulses is very difficult for both the parents and for them. I feel like the impulses come in waves but it has gotten a lot better. They do know right from wrong and holding them accountable is so important from what I have learned with my son. He would feel so badly after doing something that the accountability and punishment (whatever it may be but I also would make my son write a letter of what he did wrong and why) was needed for him to see what he did wrong and how it affected me. It’s so stressful to go through this and be so angry with them but know that with the impulse control it’s not always their fault. Just keep strong and it will get better.

[Onthemove1971]

Janice_H-

Big hugs and deep breaths. There are so many struggles that we are/were not told about and the stealing is one of them. We make sure all of our valuables are locked up. We are also not good at giving him $$ for allowance, which I wonder if this would cut down on the desire to take.

Our son has a friend who we are sure has ADHD and doesn't take medication. He took $70 from his parents and was talking about it on social media ( again no filter) teachers saw this and contacted the family. I make sure our son has limited contact with this child.

It feels like it is getting better for us and I know the same will happen with you. Please lock your valuables up and don't allow him in your space. Also try to not worry about tomorrow, but focus on today.

So sorry!

Take care

[Aniusia]

Hi, we never have cash in the house ( direct deposits) .Well, once my husband sold a leaf blower, there was 300$ sitting on the shelf. After a while, he needed that money , and he discovered there is only 200$ sitting on the shelf. At first he could not remember if he took it for something, but he didn’t. It would never crossed our mind that our son took it. When we asked him, of course he said he has no clue about it. Then slowly he admitted he did take it . He said he owned somebody this money, because he lost in a bet. Ok . Couple days later school called saying they found a Juul in his locker. Shocker after shocker.

Anyway, I don’t think he would do it again, but just in case we don’t leave cash , credit cards out, just to eliminate potential problems. We never let him use our computers, because PP , eBay etc have credit cards stored there. You just need to be careful and always think ahead.

[Janice_H in reply to Aniusia]

This is sad to hear. Im so sorry your family is dealing with this. Hugs

[scrabble2018]

My daughter would always take things from my closet and lie about it. I would confront her and knew it was her because she is our only child. I would dole out consequences like no television for a week. It didn't really work. My husband and I installed locks on our doors. This seems to be the best decision. Hopefully as she matures, she will earn our trust.