Anyone else have their kid absolutely sabotage everything their orthodontist was trying to do. This kid needs a palatal expander in a bad way. His teeth are messed up! Every time we’d go in for check up there was no progress. It kept mysteriously just falling out. We had yet another visit trying to figure out what was going on. They decide to rework the thing and put spacers on. Now those just fell out!! No way. I’ve worked in dentistry for 22 years and NO ONE has that much trouble. He finally admitted he has been doing it. I have tried to explain that his teeth are messed up and we are trying to help him. But I’m DONE.
I think I’m just going to wait to see if he decides he wants his teeth straight, if he never does, it’s his teeth. He can’t say I didn’t try. It kills me but I’m not wasting any more time and money.
Anyone else have something like this happen?
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Boymom3
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I am sorry you are dealing with this. Yes, we have had many things "sabotaged" ( tutoring, dentist, medical doctor visit for shots, etc..) these are all things that they are not mature enough to handle.
Could you ask what reward he could have to leave it in ( remember these hurt and this is also another issue to deal with)? Whatever his carrot is you might need to double it. Or see what new reward he wants.
I have found many things that are important to me ( styling his hair, showering, having matching clothes) he has no interest in and I give up ( not showering....) .
The good thing is that they are not life and death and he could always do this when he is older and pay on his own.
Big hugs and a tub of ice cream in dealing with this.
My 15 year old daughter kept trying to rush the orthodontist into taking her braces off ASAP. I told her if she ever required braces again it would have to be on her dime. Never again. ADHD I believe really slows down the maturity issue. That same daughter is now 16 and has her license. I am so afraid of letting her drive by herself. Although capable, she has snot always made the most mature choices.
My son will not let a loose tooth stay in his mouth. As soon as it starts to wiggle in the least, he will work at it until it's out. He has pulled several teeth prematurely. He's 10.
Yes, I'm living it right now. My son had bands placed at his last appointment and he was supposed to start wearing bands. That was over a month ago and he's made zero attempts at wearing bands. Also, his dental hygiene is awful. He's been lucky that he has never had a cavity, so he seems to think his measly brushing is fine. I've even found out some days he forgot to brush his teeth at all! He just turned 16. I was listening to an ADHD podcast, and they said that dental hygiene is difficult with ADHD kids. Who knew. Another thing to worry about. 🙁
I’m a hygienist and most kids are terrible at brushing, but yes, with ADHD I think it is worse. My oldest son will go to the bathroom to brush and get distracted and won’t brush. I have to send him back, or go with him to make sure he does it properly.
How in the world did the orthodontist even decide to begin treatment? My ortho as a matter of policy won’t begin treatment on any kid before he is satisfied with their hygiene. And for good reason. Ever look up photos of what happens if a kid does not do good with dental hygiene while having braces? The results are horrendous. Even worse than just letting the teeth stay crooked.
I still can’t get my 13 yr old son to brush his teeth enough to even think about braces! His teeth are very crooked but I’m not taking the chance of them getting discolored and ruined by not taking care of them with braces on too!
I have had problems with my 12 y.o. son pulling his teeth out. If they become wiggly, he will pry them out. I worry that he will be pulling out his adult teeth as well. Sometimes there is a bloody mess because the teeth are not quite ready to come out.
My eight year old does that. The adult teeth have a stronger root, so hopefully he won’t be able to pull those, but if he messes with them enough he may do damage. Make sure he’s staying on a regular check up routine with dentist. Every 6 months.
Yes!! We were in Orthos office almost every week for repairs of brackets falling off wires popping off. My son was try to do his own repairs. Ortho said there were things coming off that he couldnt figure out how it was happening. My son couldn't keep his hands out of his mouth. Finlnally gave my son ultimatum and he just couldn't handle it at his age around 10-11 so we had them removed and same thing, told him he'd have to wait until he was able to control and handle braces. Well, at age 14, he said he was ready to try again and so far so good. He is doing amazingly well with braces for the past 5 mos. His mouth is very small and so he had teeth piled up on top of teeth and just a mess. He's had a few mysterious repairs but nothing like 1st time out. For my son, he just needed a little more maturity, I think some peer pressure might also be helping, a very encouraging Ortho office staff and Dr. and maybe our threat that if this time around didn't work, he'd have to wait until he was an adult and pay for it on his own.
My grandson has had braces twice because his teeth were so snaggle -toothed, starting at age 8 and again at age 13. He is almost 15 and the first time around we had trouble getting him to brush under the wires and were afraid he would have permanent white spots on his teeth. He is almost done with his second round and is a trooper.
When we were in the office the other day there was a younger boy there who started screaming every time the dental hygienist or the orthodontist touched his teeth. Felt sorry for the mom.
That is the way my younger grandson used to act at the dentist. He needs to be evaluated at the orthodontist and I don't think he will be as stoic as his brother.
My 15 year old son with ADHD is currently using Invisalign removable aligners. He struggled a lot on the beginning not to fidget or pop them off and on in his mouth. He had quite a few aligners that would break in the last few days of wear due to him messing with them without even realizing he was. His ortho told him that if it continued he would have to move to traditional braces. It has worked! We talked about what we could do to help him stop messing with them and what worked was us saying a code word when we would hear him popping them off his teeth. This helped him start to be cognizant of when he was doing it so he could try to stop. Also, for oral hygiene what works best for him is a Sonicare electric toothbrush that brushes for 2 minutes with alerts every 30 seconds to move to a different quadrant. Best money ever spent, lol.
My son had the type of expander that was removable. Bad idea. He basically wore it at night only. No expansion. I paid extra to get the kind that is glued in and now we have progress (I do the turns once a day). Not sure if this is an option.
I too am worried about the hygiene required on his part for braces. He is 10, and the only time his teeth get brushed well is when I do it for him! But we’ll cross that bridge when we get there...
We did the removable expander first. Lots of popping it off and rolling it around in his mouth. Me constantly saying “you have to leave it on your teeth for it to work”. Then conveniently he “lost” them. We have the glued in one now and it has come out 3 times in 2 months and somehow he has stripped out the wheel part that turns to open it up. The orthodontist is making a new one and if it comes out, I’m done! We will just wait til he is actually concerned enough about his teeth to be motivated to leave it alone, I guess.
He is supposed to be wearing glasses as well. He would “misplace” them all the time, then finally snapped them in two. The eye doctor said she’d recheck him in a few months but if he doesn’t wear corrective lenses he’ll get a lazy eye, so we will see how that goes in a few months.
Glad to have a place I can hear from other parents going through the same things. It really does make it a little easier to keep trying.
Honestly, it sounds like he’s the kind of kid who is not receptive to “This is what will happen...” and needs to be bothered by something now in order to care and do something about it.
Maybe be might be bothered by his teeth when he is older? I have a couple of friends (and my parents as well) who have gone on in life not being bothered by uncorrected overbites and crowding.
I would expect the vision to bother him before his teeth will, especially if he wants to drive, and the law won’t let him drive without correction.
Is he nearsighted? Astigmatism? Strong enough prescription in both eyes? If so, I am sure he will be bothered by blurry vision as his refractive error progresses, and he will eventually be self-motivated to wear the glasses.
I’d be looking for ways to encourage him to wear his glasses, without making it an explicit rule that he needs to wear them. E.g., if nearsighted, a rule of no watching TV on the floor, must be sitting on the couch across the room? Perhaps some games that require him to be able to see license plates on the freeway?
I’m a big fan of letting kids choose their own frames, even if I might end up paying an extra $50. Maybe something you can do is browse frames online with him, and maybe you are more likely to find a pair that he will like enough to wear. Just be conscious of sizes, and if you do order frames online, get frames only and fill the prescription locally.
Another idea is that if he does find frames he really likes, and you are still concerned with compliance, you could always make the deal that he can get them next time, if he wears the frames he gets and keeps them in good condition (and hope his tastes don’t change too quickly).
Can’t say I’ve been in your exact situation, but my son also self-sabotages school and other things we do for him. He is 15 and our family therapist explained he wants more power to make his own decisions about his life, even if they are terrible! We use lots of reverse psychology on him. If we really want him to do something, we pretend we don’t care and tell him the choice is his to make. Sounds like you are doing the right thing (and saving money!) by stopping the orthodontics. Perhaps when it is his choice, he will let you know and decide to cooperate. If you haven’t already, consider reading 1-2-3 Magic or 1-2-3 Magic Teen (depending how old your son is) by Thomas Phelan. Lots of great advice for these kinds of behavioral challenges with explanations as to why kids do these things.
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