Hello everyone!! It has been 3 years since we started medication for my daughter who has adhd and we tried a lot of medications vyvanse, methylphenidate, guanfacine and the doctor was just increasing the dose but for her the first 2 weeks the medecine works and after that just stopped working. We went to see a child development specialist but even for the doctor my daughter still difficult to read and we don't even know if it is only adhd or autism or something else. She also has been diagnosed with expressive and receptive disorder and she see a speech therapist for that as well as OT. But her behavior still a big problem and my husband and I really do not know what else to do and this situation has affected our family life a lot and I am living with a permanent stress and I feel like I used all the resources that a mom can have. 2 months ago we finally met a psychiatrist who put her under Adderall 10mg twice a day and it was working perfectly but after 2 weeks just stop and right now it is really a nightmare the school call me a lot to talk with her or even going to her school to try calming her down or just ask me to pick her up from school because of her behavior ( kicking, climbing, biting, hitting her para, spetting). Her teachers are really trying to help her with n iep and other behavior approach but they are out of idea and they are suspecting maybe she has anxiety. And she is also taking clonidine 0.2 mg at night to help her sleep buy most of the time she is awake around 2am sometimes before that until the morning and she is never tired. We did the genetic + genesight and both test were normal. The specialist think that maybe the ABA therapy can help her but we are trying to figure out how to make her qualify for that because we already did the autism evaluation twice and she was not diagnosed as autistic. Right now I can assure you that I am out of idea and think to stop with the medicine for 2 days but staying with her without medicine I really don't know if I can do it. If someone experienced or is still experiencing the same situation like us please we need your help.Thanks.
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Thank-you for your post. Parenting a child with ADHD is like riding a roller coaster, there are ups and downs. As much as we hate it behavior is a form of communication. Our son is 17 years old now and I remember getting everything set up: therapy, educational plan, medication which were all exhausting and things had improved but not "all better". I told our son every night- I love you, but I do not like your behavior today, tomorrow let's do better. We also allowed him to do one activity- Tae Kwan Do outside of school and this gave him an outlet for his excessive energy.
Slowly thing started to get better, I believe it was maturity. He started to understand he could make a difference daily.
I hope you guys get the same and that medication start to help with 60% of behavior.
It is hard always struggling with behavior, it feels defeating.
We are always here for you and I just want to give you a big hug.
Take care.
Thank you so much.
Onthemove1971 I always appreciate the time you take to offer great advice and comfort to everyone. Thank you!
You’ve helped me so much over the past 4 years. One thing that I always hold on to is the maturity thing. Some things do get better with age and they really have. But that doesn’t mean we have everything solved.
Purple008 how old is your daughter? What grade?
She is 7 and will turn 8 in September.And she is in second grade
Ok, she’s the same age now as my son was when he got diagnosed. His birthday is in October. He’s 11 now and things are A LOT better! Honestly second grade was the worst for him and is for so many kids I know. There is a lot going on at that age for neurotypical kids let alone kids that are on a spectrum.
Thanks! I just remember being there, saying to myself " I have done everything" why are things not getting better...Been there..
Best to everyone traveling this journey.
I don't have advice but just commiseration. We also tried many, many meds and some would work for a short time and then stop helping, others were awful. None of the medications we have tried "changed his life" or had the dramatic results many people talk about. I don't even see 60% improvement. Maybe 10%. It's frustrating and makes me feel like I'm failing him. We did a full neuropsych eval, tried therapy, OT, met with a psychiatrist, specialized glasses, and no one can really tell us anything or help us. My son is unique and doesn't seem to fit in anyone's box (hence the screen name), even the ADHD box. Every professional meets with him, tells us there's definitely something going on, but no one can put a finger on what. We ended up stopping all services expect Guanfacine -- which doesn't seem to help that much but at least doesn't have awful side effects -- because it was stressful for our child and not doing any good. Our son also doesn't sleep well even with prescription meds and has severe anxiety (but again, counseling did not help with this). I would agree with other comments, it has gotten slightly better as he matures, but we're still in the tween years and there's a lot of growing up to happen yet. I truly hope you find solutions that work for you! (And maybe you can share them with me...)
I stopped the medicine for 2 days and there is only a slice difference about her behavior and I think I will propose to her psychiatrist to try a non stimulant medecine because I feel like the stimulant side effect has an impact on her behavior and her appetite is very very low.
I feel for you. Know that you’re not alone. We tried so many things and each only has a small effect - and then sometimes it all goes downhill no matter what.
Something that was a useful part of the equation was parent training - which I didn’t see you mention. We did PCIT which was helpful and I think CHADD has one too. ADHD dude also has a parent training that seems be useful. His advice on YouTube or Instagram has giving some useful ideas. We also do martial arts. It’s hit and miss if he likes it but I think it’s helpful to him and the instructors at our dojo are great at dealing with kids, even when they’re difficult. (He still gets sent out of class sometimes for behavior problems but the instructors do it in a way that encourages him to do better next time. It’s tough to be the parent whose kid gets kicked out but the other parents seem understanding and not judgmental.)
We also have him earn points that he can turn in for toys for days that he does well at school (eg if we don’t get a phone call or note about bad behavior).
Medication is such a stressful route for me but worth it. The doctor kept recommending trialing different medications until we found one that worked but it is hard to get through those trials when you’re not sure if they’re helping or making things worse. We found 10 mg of adderall XR is finally a good match. Hopefully it lasts a while and we don’t see any side effects get worse.
I’m so sorry this whole thing is draining you everyday 😩 I’m pretty much in the same exact situation as you are with the extreme stress on both my daughter and myself. I have the same story as yours with the stimulant meds and getting ready to try anxiety meds. At this point, maybe treating the anxiety first will bring more answers to everything else and add a stimulant after. That’s what I’m hoping for after trying 7 different stimulants just for the adhd. It’s a horrible way for all of us to live life like this everyday. Praying for you and more affordable professional help, along with more affordable schools designed to help them 🙏🏼🥺
Thank you for your help and I hope one day we will all live better days with our kids.
I’m back Purple008 : ) I think if you read or listen to “Raising Kids with Big baffling behaviors” by Robyn Gobbel you’ll get a head start on understanding how to approach your child’s mental needs. I just started listening and I could’ve used this info a long time ago. Go to her website and she has so many helpful books/podcasts. She describes a lot of the exact situations we go through. Hope you find answers there and of course, there are many other resources to find 🙏🏼
Thanks again.
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