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I am new, need guidance to help my daughter with ADHD.

dogodogo profile image
20 Replies

Hi, I am new at this and never posted anything before. I have a 15 year old daughter that has alot of struggles in focusing which affected her selfesteem. During the school days, she takes medication but complains that it make her brain foggy. We tried three different medications but has had bad results. Her attitude in social gatherings, school, is a big struggle for her. She is doing her best but seems tierd of getting failed results. She is a very smart, loving, funny and creative young lady. I am trying to be patient when it comes to school grades but its hard for her to get things done on time. We just moved into a new state and I am trying to get her an IEP, so she get some kind of support. My husband and I, are learning little by little of what ADHD is and how to help our daughter. I need some guidance in helping her to understand what ADHD is and how she can use tools to make her get better results. Also, get her connected with girls that also have her struggles.

20 Replies
EJsMom profile image

I found this article that explained things in terms that made sense:


I hope the link works.

There are so many good books and articles to help explain adhd. Simply put; it’s a disorder in the brain chemistry.

I know this is really difficult. The diagnosis brings up a roller coaster of emotions. You’re doing the best Jung you can, becoming informed! 😊

dogodogo profile image
dogodogo in reply to EJsMom

Thank you and Ill read the article.

Onthemove1971 profile image

Welcome to the group! We are here to support you and hope to help you. What in school is the hardest for her?

Did you put in writing that you child has ADHD and it impacts her educational process, then submit it to Special Education dept.

Hope we can help you.

dogodogo profile image
dogodogo in reply to Onthemove1971

Thank you for the advise. The school district knows that she has ADHD. I am requesting an IEP evaluation to be done here. One was done over in Washington State but it was done at the end of the school year. So they recommended it to be done here again.

5Flyingeagle profile image

Welcome to the group. You are not alone. I have a 7 year old daughter, she will be going into 2nd grade. I am scared for her, not sure what it will be like for her. She says she doesn't like school but she seems to like it. She is not medicated, I am scared for her, mY husband doesn't want to medicate "she is too young to be hopped up on speed". His exact words, not mine. I am torn, I think if we find the right medication it would help her. She is in main stream at school getting pulled once a week for speech. She has an IEP (for speech) since she started preschool (age 3). She gets extra time to do things. Both the school & I are trying different thing that she can fidget with that won't disrupt the class. She takes forever to do her assignments and she doesn't do her homework ever. The kids seemed to like her, she playes well for the most part, but she is more a follower than a leader. She still gets into to people's personal space, that has gotten a little better. I am knew to this also. I have 2 older daughters that where atypical "normal". So when my youngest wasn't developing like the other 2 I knew something wasn't right. I just wish I went with my gut & not wait so long to find a new pediatrician. I trusted her pediatrician, we had her for the first 2 kids. She just told me each kid us different and developed at their pace. Not talking eligible at 2 years old or even 3. She said a few words but not much we could understand.

Sorry for rambling on. I feel your pain. The school is helping a little but it seem to me they think i am a bad mom. They tell me how I should get my daughter out of diapers at night. "That isn't normal;" how do they know what her normal is. I hope we all can keep up the patients with our kids and the idiots that don't understand our kids, and don't want to know. Good luck!!!!

justine_lynae profile image
justine_lynae in reply to 5Flyingeagle

My child still wears a diaper at night, so if it’s not normal then I guess we’re both hooped! 🤷🏼‍♀️

dogodogo profile image
dogodogo in reply to justine_lynae

From what i see from my child progress, even though it might be slower but she has progressed. With medication she has improved somewhat but the side effects are becomming the problem. Im still debati.g if its worth keeping her on them.

Lovemygirl profile image
Lovemygirl in reply to 5Flyingeagle

I am a school nurse and I was totally against medicating my daughter....at first. This was years ago my daughter is 13 now. I read everything about ADHD that I could get my hands on. We have had so many ups and downs on this journey. At 7 I started her on a low dose of Vyvanse which worked very well but she developed a tic with it so we changed at 9 to daytrana patches and that is currently what she is on. I just worried so much that the meds would do something later in her life...then I realized that she just was struggling so much with focus, attention, social issues...etc that I knew something needed to be done. I also read an article that gave statistics on teen ADHD drivers being more likely to have accidents due to loss of focus and teens and young adults becoming addicts due to wanting some relief so they start self medicating. I tried to find articles to share but could not. This changed my mind. I talked to many Drs about the meds and the thing they all told me was if she had diabetes would you medicate her....well of course I would then why wont you for a different kind of illness???? Once we started meds HER world was different and better. Dont get me wrong the process of raising an ADHD child is very challenging and now at 13 I have realized it is huge for me to learn how her brain works and work with her instead of trying to fit her into the box that I want her to be in. By the way my daughter has had no issues other than good from taking her meds. She is healthy as an ox.

5Flyingeagle profile image
5Flyingeagle in reply to Lovemygirl

Thanks, I wanna try her on medicine, but all my husband thinks is ADHD medicine is "Speed". :(

Pennywink profile image
Pennywink in reply to 5Flyingeagle

My husband was similar - he definitely used some unkind words implying I just wanted to make life easy for myself. What really helped was bringing him to all doctors appointments, school conferences, and including him in all conversations with teachers, etc. He felt a little better after asking the doctor a million questions before the medication trial - and the knowledge that if it isn't working, we can always just stop. Now, my husband is the one who is more adamant that my son take his meds every single day.

Nla1 profile image

Look into Neurofeedback.

I am starting this with my son next month... painless, no side effects- physical therapy for the brain and trains the mind to build the ability to focus and concentrate. Amazing testimonials (across the board for brain development). It also helps to reduce the medication dosage for ADHD and often eliminates it altogether.

It is expensive $160-175/per session but amazing if you can help them to neurologically develop the areas of the brain controlling their impulses, behaviors and lack of focus.

Look into it.

Drake Institute




dogodogo profile image
dogodogo in reply to Nla1

Thank you. I will look into it.. This gives my hope😳.

Nla1 profile image
Nla1 in reply to dogodogo

Medication is not the only way (And I am not beating up anyone who has chosen this route At All - I almost did)... what I wrote to you gave me hope when I learned about it. Research and visit the sites.... any way we can help our little geniuses is worth it. I keep seeing the medication route and all it does is put a band aid over a bullet hole with side effects... there has to be a real way to help them build the part of the brain that struggles with focus and impulse control. The human body is remarkable especially the brain.


seller profile image

Unfortunately, for most kids with ADHD, stimulant medication is the only way to treat ADHD. Your daughter may not like the effect of her brain "slowing" down. (My son used to complain about this. He liked the feeling of his brain racing!) If she's been taking Concerta and doesn't see any change, then you could always try the Adderall or Vyvanse formulation. They are all stimulants, but have different formulations. My son did much better on Adderall and Vyvanse, although we used a small dose of methylfenidate for evenings. There are some good books for kids with ADHD and both you and your daughter should learn as much as possible about this life-long disorder. It's nothing to be ashamed of, but it can cause chaos in everyone's lives if it's not understood and treated. ADHD kids are 2-3 years behind their peers, so this can cause problems with social activities. If you can find activities and/or groups that are fairly benign, like church groups, recreational sports, things that maybe have a wider age-range, she may have more success and feel better about herself.

dogodogo profile image
dogodogo in reply to seller

I agree with you 100%. Working on it. Thank you.

dogodogo profile image

What i see is that she has blamed herself for not fuctioning as the other kids do either in school or socially. Even when we have explained it to her, its still a hard pill to accept.

Natasha_W profile image

My daughter is 12 almost 13 and we’ve had the same struggles with school, grades, and friends. Y’all are not alone in this. I know it seems so lonely when you feel like your child is struggling and everyone else seems to have it all together. I feel like we’re grasping for a good day almost on a daily basis!!!!!

Baldy70 profile image

For years l have been reading about parents giving kids goats milk,camel milk,raw manuka honey (not kids under 1 yrs old) ,certain essential oils ,cherries etc...to cope with this problem

CoffeeandLove profile image

Hi there!My first suggestion is to look into Ryan Wexelblatt aka "The ADHD Dude" on youtube and Instagram (not sure if he's on FB.) Also, the book "Smart but Scattered" may be helpful for you and your husband. Learn what you can about executive functioning skills and how they are delayed and impacted in children with ADHD. When you start to understand that part, you'll not only have "ah-ha!" moments, but you'll understand how to help your daughter going forward.

For your daughter, I have heard good things about the book, "Attention, Girls! A Guide to Learn All About Your ADHD" by Quinn (though I have not yet read it myself.)

Hope that's helpful!

Luvmygirl profile image

Welcome to the group! I have 2 daughters (9 & 15 yo) that have been diagnosed ADHD - the 9 yo is hyperactive, and the 15 yo is not. Focalin is a short-term drug (only lasts in their system for about 8 hrs) that is working for both girls. The only side effect that either of them experienced is decrease in appetite. I feed them a good dinner (by that time it’s worn off) & have snacks ready if they want them, and they don’t take it on the weekends so I can get food in their little bodies. 9 yo takes 10 mg & 15 yo takes 15mg.I’m also trying to get my 15 yo to start using her phone calendar with alarms to schedule her life. She’s had a tutor to get through rough patches from the pandemic. She does well with one on one learning, but spaces out in larger classes & being in and out of school during the last 2 years has hit most students hard. Good luck!

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