Low Demand Parenting

[HeartChaser]

Hello!

My son is 12 and just starting medication (which has recently been increased) for ADHD specifically to control his impulsivity. He also sees a therapist and OT.

Through this forum I discovered Tilt Parenting podcast and learned about perhaps saving my own sanity with Low Demand Parenting. The struggles are real with our “tricky” kids and I’m always looking for more supportive ways to evolve my humanness through parenting. It seems like anxiety, OCD, depression is the mixed pool so many of us swim in, but laying off demands seems like a daunting scary road to go down with a child like mine and it also seems like it can be a golden ticket if I were brave enough. I’m certainly accustomed to going against the grain of society so that part doesn’t bother me. I’m just hoping I can dip my toe in and execute it properly. While my symptoms aren’t as pronounced as my sons, I’m definitely seeing how I struggle in some of the same areas as he does so I worry about misusing or misunderstanding this new communication style.

Does anyone else use (or tried) Low Demand Parenting? I’d love to hear your thoughts.

Big supportive hug to you all!

[Onthemove1971]

Thanks for your message..I guess I can YES, at times. When it is after our son's medication is no longer in his system and he is tired. I do not make great demands on him. At other times his chores pile up, his homework still has to be done. I feel like when he was younger he was not able to deal with things when he did not have medication in him.

I also think also mothers and fathers have a different style of parenting and kids know that.

Hope this makes sense. All I can say is maturity has helped our son a lot. As he gets older he is learning how to deal with the demands of everyday life.

Hope this helps.

[eva2022]

This sounds super interesting to me. I will have to look into it more.

Yesterday I sat down and divided my son’s (ASD/ADHD) behaviors into categories: annoying, socially unacceptable, and dangerous. Only four of the twenty were dangerous. So the other behaviors I could see just letting go or managing through a more positive discipline system. Maybe this will help you to feel more confident trying it out?

[HeartChaser in reply to eva2022]

I LOVe how you did categories! I’m finding it freeing (and slightly scary) to throw away the social norms category. We just sat at breakfast this morning and talked about how many things we can just let go of and take a load of stress off everyone! We are rigid parents slowly learning to let go and forge our own parenting path with a more loving accepting approach to ourselves and our children.

So glad to be on the journey with you and thank you for sharing.

[Knitting20projects]

I’ve definitely let go of many things I was raised to believe were important and am focusing on what is important for my 2 kids. They need to recognize their emotions, learn coping skills, and use their words instead of their bodies (my daughter at least) to express anger or frustration.