Dealing with a 6yo with EXTREME behavior disorders

[acookson621]

Our son is 6 and has received numerous diagnosis over the years ranging from ODD, SPD, Severe ADHD and mild Autism. He also struggles with Anxiety. We knew there was something unique about him around his first birthday and he has been in therapy since he was 2, medicated starting at 3. We had him on Focalin XR for about 2 years and have now switched him to Vyvanse 20mg as well as Guanfacine 2mg.

I can't even accurately put into words what we are dealing with. Every moment is a struggle with him. He has no self-control and is extremely impulsive. He is very aggressive, although we mostly have that contained to physical objects and not people (anymore). His mood swings are severe and if he gets angry he will flip tables and throw everything he can get his hands on. We can no longer have his little sister (2yo) around him because he is so abusive to her.

He is also incredibly smart. He goes to regular, full day, kindergarten and has no trouble learning and participating at school. He does take sensory breaks throughout the day and has difficulty getting himself back on track if he starts to lose control. He struggles to connect with other kids his age because he has an extreme need to control everything around him and the way that he plays. He has an aide that is with him most of the day, just to manage his behavior

I guess I am just looking for connections with parents who have kids who are on this "extreme" end of this spectrum and have any experience or suggestions on things that we can do to help him with his self-control. We feel very alone in this struggle and it is taking a toll on our entire family.

[Cjkchamp]

Been where you are! Research broad spectrum micronutrients. They were recommended by our son’s psychiatrist and really helped him with the emotional dysregulation he had going on. There are two companies, Hardy Nutritionals and Yrue Hope. We use the Hardy Nutritionals Daily Essential Nutrients. Wishing you the best!!

[Aspen797 in reply to Cjkchamp]

I have frequently seen your posts about your child’s success with micronutrients. I just wanted to share that a very large NIH funded study is being done (following two smaller positive studies) to look at the benefit of a type of bio available folate on children on the spectrum, a majority of which have mitochondrial abnormalities that limit their ability to process an adequate amount of folate from their food.

The results of adding this micronutrient on communication and behavior have been simply amazing. More on it generally here: phoenixchildrens.org/blog/2.... All this to say—yes! For some kids, the right amount and form of nutrient seems to make a huge difference! Thanks for reminding people that it might be well worth looking at biomarkers and nutrition as well.

[Aspen797]

Hello! Our son is gifted with ASD. When he was young, he had a lot of difficult behaviors. Are you working with a (autism community friendly) board certified behavior analyst? Have you had your son evaluated by a speech pathologist and occupational therapist? Getting these services lined up was extremely helpful for us, as was medication.

We later learned that difficulty caused by autism in understanding others perspectives created a great deal of confusion, frustration, and anxiety for our son. Sensory issues compounded those difficulties. All of that led to high anxiety which, in kids on the spectrum, often manifests as defiance. The Social Thinking curriculum by Michelle Garcia Winner (used by speech) helps with bridging the gaps in social understanding. ABA helps stop the negative cycle by consistently rewarding the expected behavior and setting up the environment so that punishment is exceedingly rare (use of routines, first we do this, then we can do that, planned ignoring and walking away instead). OT helps accommodate the haywire sensory system with needed comforts. Combined, these soothe the anxiety and decrease defiance.

An added bonus to doing these therapies is you get to meet parents of other kids like yours in the waiting room! Seriously. You need to build your tribe. Check out “Differently Wired” the book, podcast, website. You are so definitely not alone. Go to the parent support group at the autism society, at CHADD. Get out and meet people who have kids like yours. Be weary of counselors and psychologists who do not specialize in working with children on the spectrum—some “typical” parenting methodologies do not work with our kids and actually cause more anxiety and defiance. Once you are hooked in with good knowledgeable therapists, you will start finding other parents, recommended services, activities, schools, camps, etc. It does get better every year with lots of support for both you and for your son.