Dealing with Autistic/ADHD child

First and foremost I would like to say I love my kids. But I'm having a hard time with my oldest son who is 5 EVERYDAY his school calls me saying he is throwing things or he won't be still he keeps crying and anything else they can think of. He hasn't been in school a month and they have suspended him and sent him home early I'm honestly at my wits end with them I never had this issue at my sons last school. He is on medication and yet the clonodine(hope I spelled it right) just doesn't seem to be working and I just don't know what to do anymore they call around 9:00am and 12:00pm every day it's like nothing's working I take things from him and nothing changes I'm honestly just clueless about what to do.

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  • Hi Lady, sorry to hear you are having a hard time. It sounds like you have a 5 year old that is really struggling with the structure of a school environment. Don't know what to suggest, but just wanted to give you some encouragement to take it a day at a time and have faith that this is a phase you will move through and things will get better. Maybe you could get a second medical opinion on meds and diagnosis?

  • Thank I have had a formal diagnosis from my local autism center as well as his doctors but thank you. I just get tired of the constant calling to ask my son to do little things like sit down I'm sorry but as a adult how do not know how to handle a child.

  • Ugh. I am sorry things are so difficult for you. I have three suggestions:

    1. Take your child off gluten, dairy and dyes. Our son had behavior problems, high functioning autism, etc., and making these dietary changes made a dramatic improvement in his behavior and disposition. We only saw a difference after 4 solid months on the diet, so be strict and give it lots of time, like 6 months, before you decide it's not working. It will take time for the gut to heal.

    2. Have your child tested for pyroluria. Consider using mensahmedical.com, they are terriffic! Your child probably has pyroluria, treatment with prescription zinc and B6 worked wonders in my child, I wish we'd known about it sooner. Pyroluria is very common in autistic kids.

    3. Hire an attorney. Your child has a right to a free and appropriate education. I am not an attorney and do not know the details of your case but I do know they cannot legally send him home and deny him an education due to behaviors that are part of his diagnosis. The school cannot deal with him, so what school can? He has a right to an education and you need to fight to make sure he gets it. There are many private schools that will be able to teach your child, and your school should be paying for it, but they will not unless you hire an attorney.

  • Thanks will talk to his doctor tomorrow. Thanks for the attorney suggestion I went there already. The only options I have would be to put him in a special needs school somewhere in Atlanta which is too far for him to go to school everyday or for him to stay I will have to take the diet accommodation into consideration cause they don't have any soy based products at school will see thanks.

  • It sounds like your son is in defense mode. I don't know a lot about autism but I do follow The Asbreger Exps because my daughter has a lot of sensory overload issues. The school night benefit from a more structured routine for him. For example a schedule with pictures so he knows what to expect every day, the same caregiver each day, and a quiet space just for him so he has a calm down place. Trust me I feel your pain with school issues. An attitude of helpfulness and cooperation is a priceless resource. Might be worth finding a new school of this one isn't willing to work with you. Good luck!

  • Are you in the US ? and have they done a Functional Behavioral Assessment? Children on the spectrum need a spectrum of services to go with these diagnoses: ABA, counseling & social skills development for example. If he doesn't have an IEP, request an IDEA evaluation in writing so they can get started on figuring out how to help him instead of punishing him for having a disability.

  • Also, they should be supporting him in his nearest school, before suggesting shipping him across town; proving that with proper supports, he cannot learn at the local school. They clearly haven't done that yet. I would talk to another Special Education attorney or advocate about compensatory education paid by the public school. These years are crucial for ASD kids, and they have wasted time.

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