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mother dealing with childs adhd

hredd316 profile image
5 Replies

hello i am the single mother of a 6 year old boy with severe adhd borderline autism. recently my son has been going through trying to figure out what meds work best for him and they raised his dose in meds a few weeks ago and it seems to make him worse but the day it was prescribed his prescriber ended up going somewhere else for work and to this day i have to wait another month and a half for someone to fix his meds. now my son has had major meltdowns everyday for the last week and a half to where he becomes extremely violent to everyone around him. today it was because i wouldnt get him what he wanted to eat for dinner because he has become picky and since im trying to nip the pickiness i said no to what he wanted which wasnt very healthy for dinner anyways. tried doing a break outside it seemed to calm him down but when it was time to go outside he'd start up again. he had a meltdown for around 2 hours til i finally found something that made him stop and listen.

i need ideas to keep his mind from going to that its my way or the highway place which causes the meltdowns. if anyone has any please message me.

he is getting to be the same way at school but their way of calming him down doesnt work for me at home. they had done a 504 last year when he was in kindergarten but because the school forgot to send the info to the doctor he now has to do it all over again. luckily enough he is in an ecg program this year at a different school i love the teacher im just hoping they are more organized so this can all get done and they can figure out what exactly is going on with him. there are sometimes when i just wish i could afford to have him in a group home for a little while just as a reset for him.

5 Replies
Cjkchamp profile image
Cjkchamp

First, I think it’s a shame that a medical professional is making you wait when it sounds like your son is not doing well on the medication. There are a lot of medications, and some are just not a good fit. My son was highly aggressive on Adderall. The minute I told the dr she said to take him off and we went in and started something new. Things got really bad with my son at the beginning of this year. Luckily, his psychiatrist recommended broad spectrum micronutrients. We read up and decided to go with Hardy Nutritionals Daily Essential Nutrients. My son’s aggression dissipated and he is now better able to handle his emotions. I encourage you to look into them. Wishing you the best!

555jms profile image
555jms

Is there anyway you can take him back to his original dose or take him off for now until you can see your doctor or find another doctor?

Sounds like the increase is not helping him. If it were my child I would take him off and regroup. All the best to you and your boy.

Pennywink profile image
Pennywink

Wow - 1.5 months is a long time to wait for a med / dosage that doesn’t seem to be working. To me, it sounds like he needs a different med.

Is he worse on the meds than without? If so, I’d consider taking him off until you can get back in.

Is there someone you can at least call & get advice from atvthevplace you are waiting to get in to - even if it’s just whether or not to continue the med? If not, I would consider contacting your pediatrician while you wait to at least get some advice.

Best of luck!

Mmagusin profile image
Mmagusin

The stimulant type meds can cause aggression usually when it wears off, like a crash. Decide for yourself if the current medication is making him worse or better. If worse, I’d take him off! I’d also find a new doctor. Pediatric can also prescribe if a psychiatrist is not available. That said, it sounds like there’s more going on then just meds. My kid developed Opposition Disorder. The word ‘no’ resulted in all sorts of melt downs & aggression. It got way worse after we’d give in, for example, to avoid stares in the grocery store. We unintentionally taught him that acting out is how to get what he wants. We lacked confidence & consistency. He started to run the household, not us. That all stopped when we set 3 house rules. We explained the rules & even role played them a bit so he was clear in what would happen. Rule #1: Be respectful. That includes any form of aggression. Consequence is a timeout. He tested this plenty for MONTHS. Of course we’d send him to timeout & he’d say ‘make me’. I CALMLY but firmly took him by the arm over to timeout chair. Of course, He’d just leave the chair, and I’d repeat taking him back a few times. Early on he’d escalate that to swearing, hitting, kicking, spitting, etc. That action resulted in an additional consequence, losing something very dear to him for the day. For him it was video games. Gone! but he could earn it back for tomorrow by doing an act of kindness to counter his mean behavior. If you are not comfortable with physically taking back to TO, just impose the consequence right after he breaks TO. But do expect he will escalate things in either case! Once reaching such rage, he cannot be reasoned with. Best thing we did was ignore him. At that point, timeout is over. I don’t touch him or talk to him. I’d use distractions to break the episode, like ‘holy shit, is that a deer in our back yard!’ It’s amazing how distraction works to reset things. It’s CRITICAL that you do not show any anger or any emotion when he’s in a rage. That fuels it! Ignore him until he’s calm. Leave room if you need to. He’ll chase you looking to trigger emotion. At some point he’ll give up. When he does, he’ll ask you a question or make a request. If he’s respectful, then you respond cheerfully & recognize how nice & calm he is. Our son was in a negative behavioral cycle. We literally needed to break the cycle by responding very differently to his behaviors. This takes months but eventually the brain wiring for old behaviors weaken & die off replaced by the new wiring toward better coping. This is really hard but worth it! It’s how you take control back from your kid. He’ll love you more for it, trust me.

Pennywink profile image
Pennywink in reply to Mmagusin

This is all great parenting advice! 😊

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