So my 9 year old twins have ADHD and ODD. They were adopted through foster care and have developmental delays as well. We’ve had them for 6 years.
I’ve just contacted the school principal about an IEP meeting. I haven’t heard from teachers on an almost daily basis as I have in years past, so I thought they were doing better. Turns out, they are still acting out but the teachers don’t bother me with it unless they have a really bad day. I don’t think the teachers should have to deal with that. They get consequences, but I’m just not sure they are enough, if that makes sense. I think what may work on the other kids just doesn’t have an effect on them. I think they need less chances/firmer boundaries bc they test and push the boundaries constantly.
So all of that to ask if anyone has experience with this and any suggestions of what may be helpful to implement in the behavior plan that I hope will be in place for next school year.
Thanks!!
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Boymom3
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You will get lots of good advice from parents on here. My advice relates to rewards and consequences. Rewards always work better than consequences, with kids and with adults. Sometimes all it takes is changing the vocabulary . Instead of if you don't do this I will take away that; make it if you do this, you can do that. They learn to earn instead of fearing punishment for behavior they have a hard time controlling. As for school, the Pax Good Behavior Game - Pax GBG for short - is a teaching strategy teachers can use to improve behavior and eliminate negative behaviors in their classrooms without taking any time away from teaching. The really great thing about Pax though is that scientific research studies over 40 years show that using GBG in elementary school has long-term effects years later in their lives: increased graduation rates and college admits, decreased violence, crime, special ed classifications, and even smoking. It also reduces ADHD. How? By training the brain in self-control through practicing self-control, not by talking about it. Doing always is better than talking about it. All the SEL lectures in the world do less than GBG does in 30 seconds. And for home, the people who created Pax GBG have release free videos called Pax Tools for parents to learn to use. These were parts of Pax GBG that are fairly simple to learn and to use. Some references:1NIDA Notes. “Behavior Game Played in Primary Grades Reduces Later Drug-Related Problems.” Volume 23, Number 1, April 2010. National Institute on Drug Abuse.
These tools will make your life better and help improve your kids behaviors, but the GBG part actually changes the structure of the prefrontal cortex where decision making and self-control are developed. GBG actually exercises the brain in self-control by getting kids excited in class by winning team contests in which the prize is a physical activity e.g jumping jacks. and then having them get back to work. Done several times a day, the kids develop their own control instead of a teacher having to tell them to sit down. This building of their self-control then has tremendous effects on behavior all through their lives.
Such great advice.. I would not speak to the principal, he does not work in the department that does IEP's. You should put in writing and send the request to the Special Education department. If you have any documentation on their diagnosis that should be enough to qualify them. If you need assessments done, you will have to wait until next year. Most schools have behavior specialist that until and work with children with behavior challenges so they can write a formal plan and help them.
I have a 6 year old daughter with ADHD abs ODD so can completely relate. Similar situation with school. Used to get reports every day then it stopped we thought she was doing better in behavior then the emails started. Drives me nuts but I also have to remember that the teachers have a lot to deal with during the day so I needed to cut them some slack. As for an IEP meeting I would contact the head of your special education department vs the principal, depending on the school district there should be a separate group that handles IEPs. I also would request a behavioral analysis to be completed in the classroom. A behavioral analyst should be able to take data at various times during the day to determine what triggers their behavior. In our case our daughter has a speech disorder as well which triggers frustration and sends her aggression into overdrive. We are targeting her speech issues with therapy and also working on the same things Rich mentioned. All about retraining the brain. Once the analysis is done you should be able to take that data and put it into a formal plan. For our daughter I have founds if I tell her what are you working towards this week and she feels she has a say in it her days go better. Still not perfect but for her rewards work. Each kid is different so one twin may respond to something different than the other one. But the good news is you have help at school to put a program in place for them. There are also family partnership programs that help in the community depending on where you live that can provide assistance at home. If in the US your county board of developmental disabilities should be able to help guide you. Good luck it’s a slow process to change behavior but with time they will adapt. Just takes patience and understanding.
My experience with consequences and an iep in motion is that odd is a control power struggle. They will eventually try to remove consequences, reduce break down communication and remove reward systems at home and school by stealing rewards. If they do this everything breaks down and bad days escalate. My experience. Consequences only work temporarily and they modify behavior to avoid them.
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