Any advice: My daughter is 11 years old... - CHADD's ADHD Pare...

CHADD's ADHD Parents Together

23,040 members6,143 posts

Any advice

Ericanason profile image
10 Replies

My daughter is 11 years old and diagnosed with ADHD this is her first year in middle school she is not a bad kid but has typical ADHD behaviours every day she is being thrown out of class and when I ask why was she kicked out of class they will say she talks too much talks at inappropriate times not focused daydreaming moving around alot I explain to them she has ADHD and these are all ADHD related behaviors but still every day she continues to be kicked out of class I requested her to be evaluated for an IEP or 504 plan but was told she does not need either of those in the beginning of the year I did let all of her teachers know that she has ADHD so they were aware of it when they started to notice behaviors related to it I have also been in contact with the teachers via text phone calls email and had 3 mettings with the principal and nothing is changing she is just barely passing she's getting no help and she's barely allowed in the classroom to me it seems like my child is being discriminated against for having ADHD I've made the teachers aware of her having it and request an IEP or 504 plan and got denied not sure what I should do next also her ADHD doctor suggested that maybe you should take less stress ball to school with her and squeeze it and hold it and maybe that could help her during the day but one of her teachers immediately told her to put it away when she explained that my doctor suggested it the teacher told her you are not special in any way put it away smh

Written by
Ericanason profile image
Ericanason
To view profiles and participate in discussions please or .
10 Replies
1Motherof3 profile image
1Motherof3

You need to request the IEP in writing legally they will have to do it. Don’t Stop trying or they will eventually kick your child out of school and put it all on her they need to provide her with an education however it works for her.

Ericanason profile image
Ericanason in reply to 1Motherof3

Thank you so much for the advice I'm writing the letter right now requesting the IEP I'm going to make 2 copies of it and give one copy to the school and other copy to the school Dept I'm really hoping that after this she can start to get the help she needs and stop being punished for having ADHD she got diagnosed with it when she was 7 all thru out elementary school her teachers were amazing with her and never had a issue they worked with her and alot more patience but this first year her at middle school has been horrible she use to love school but now some days it's hard to get her to go she will say the work is getting too hard but I promised her I was going to do anything I had to to get her extra help

JackieMS profile image
JackieMS in reply to Ericanason

Hi, my son has ADHD I had a similar experience to you. During his elementary school years I requested a 504plan and the school approved it with no issue. During middle school they refused and it took all of that first year to get his 504 approved. He's in his first year of high school and I had to fight for the first 2 months to get his 504 approved too.

My advise to you is don't take no for an answer. You are your child's advocate and if you believe a 504 is needed then don't stop till you get it. Think like a lawyer, which means document EVERYTHING. Use emails rather than phone calls because emails establish a written record of what you are requesting for your child and the schools response. Any communication that is verbal can't be proven to have happened. Request the 504 in writing, and also Tell the school you want to be present when they review your 504 request (your right by law). If declined the school should notify you in writing, and you must be ready to dispute their decision immediately. Research the process for disputing their decision in advance, so that you are ready to act quickly because there can be very tight timelines for this process. The more knowledgeable the school sees you are about your rights the more seriously they will take your request. Let them know you are willing to take legal action if needed. No matter how frustrating things get,maintain a professional and confident tone with the school.

Above all don't doubt yourself regardless of the schools response, you know what is best for your child. And again always communicate with the school in writing, it's key! Best of luck.

WendyD1969 profile image
WendyD1969 in reply to 1Motherof3

You may have to threaten legal action unfortunately.

Aniusia profile image
Aniusia

I feel your pain. My son is in 7th grade, has IEP, and still teachers don’t get the point. You need to understand, that adhd will not excuse every behavior. Last week my son threw a tennis ball at the teacher, and got suspension.

Fight for accommodations, for IEP. Run the meetings, tell them what you expect. It is extremely hard. I cry every Sunday evening, because I know there is another 5 stressful school days ahead of me. Good luck .

Ericanason profile image
Ericanason in reply to Aniusia

I'm so glad I found this site because I have been feeling like no one understands how hard and stressful it is to not only raise children but to have a child with adhd parents that don't have a child with this have no idea what we go thru at least now I don't feel alone and it feels so good to talk to parents that completely understand what your going thru I have been feeling the same way about school i already have a count down till summer break because it is going to be so much less stressful then dealing with all of these school issues she has been having all this year everyday there's been nights I stay up all night looking up all sorts of adhd related things online (which is how I found this site lol) just trying to figure a way I can help her and worrying about if the next day is going to be the day they kick her out of school instead of just the classroom when I have spoke with the teachers and even the principal when I mention ADHD it's like they just completely ignore me and keep going on to me as if they don't think it's real but thank you for responding to my post it makes me feel a little better that other moms do understand what I'm going thru I wish you and your son the best of luck

Aniusia profile image
Aniusia in reply to Ericanason

Thank you

Nikkie4445 profile image
Nikkie4445

First I'm so sorry you guys are going through This. Is your baby girl on any ADHD meds? I went through the same thing with my son except for the kicked out of class part. Does your child school have a counselor she or he should be helping with this. From what your saying her ADhd sounds severe and they should at least have a 504 plan to accomidate her. My boy had one since elementary school but they really didn't follow it annoying. When he got to middle school it only got worse he was failing again, he is reading at a 4the&5the grade level uhh. I feel what your going through and your frustration. Finally I couldn't take it no more and got a lawyer and won. I just so happy that he is getting the help he deserves and needs. Your baby deserves it too she is not the problem the school district is. I'm sorry if my response is all over the place I just relate so much. Keep fighting for your baby don't give. I hope this helps a little.....

Ericanason profile image
Ericanason in reply to Nikkie4445

Thank you so much for sharing and giving me advice it makes me have hope that things can get better for her and that's awesome news that you fought and got what your son needs my fingers crossed very soon I can say the same as for meds she jus turned 12 this past Sunday and she was diagnosed at 6 with ADHD at first she was on instant release Ritalin it was working very well in treating her ADHD but she was having really bad come downs as it was wearing off extremely moody sensitive we spoke with her doctor he tried her on the extended release Ritalin again worked amazing in treating the ADHD she was on that for about 2 years but then she started complaining of headaches and she related her meds to her headaches so then the dr tried her on Adderall and she had horrible side effects from it from severe anxiety to seeing things to weren't there so I immediately stopped it next we tried focalin and wasn't working well first 10mg then 15mg now up to 25mg but soon as she tried the 25mg the first day she was complaining of chest pains it got me so nervous I did not give it to her again so we have a appt with her ADHD dr this coming week to discuss everything and see what is next I would love to give the Ritalin a shot again seeing how well she did on it the only thing was the slight headaches but she still gets headaches here and there so I'm not convinced it was the meds causing them but we will see at her next appt but I have prepared myself to go to war with the school and school Dept to get her what she needs to be the best she can in school and not just push her aside and leave her to fail all for having ADHD

Teresa12626 profile image
Teresa12626

They can not denie you a iep or a 504 plan put your request in writing adhd is under other health impairment in the qualification for a 504 or iep. I got lucky enough that my daughter school want to help her in any way they can and gave her a iep with out me asking they asked me if it was ok they told me in the meeting they are giving it to her under the other health impairment qualification legally they can not denie you it there are sample letter you can find online to help you write a letter requesting a iep or 504 plan online just put in Google sample letter for iep or 504 plan for adhd

You may also like...

Any advice

put all his effort she says. He really doesn’t like his reading teacher and he says she screams too...

Advice for teen motivation

semester. She took mostly honors classes (a mistake) and there were a lot of assignments. --Her...

Any advice Re Brain Balance?

this could help her avoid or decrease medicine and just help her be successful in school and life....

Need to vent, any advice is welcome

Hi, I’m new here. I have a 7 year old son with adhd combined type and sensory processing issues. He...

IEP or 504 Plan Feedback: any stigma for your child?

approved IEP or 504 plan. My high schooler does not want me to seek this for him at school. He has...