How do you get out of the house on time!?

[Lion_Creek]

My daughter, 10, has ADHD and is on Focalin, which has been working great overall. But we still can't get out of the house in time! She has absolutely zero sense of urgency, and no matter how much time we give her to get ready, she needs every last second of it, plus another few minutes. Everything is a distraction, including the things that need to get done, and checklist charts don't seem to provide any motivation or speed. What works for you?

[BLC89]

Hello Lion_Creek,We had the same problem when my daughter was younger.

One thing that helped for a bit was me telling her "you know what the clock looks like when it's time to leave, be ready by then."

It was hard not to help her but my helping made things go slower.

The best thing I ever did was leave on time with her coming out the door (not ready, no shoes) yelling at me as I backed down the driveway "don't leave me!" Crocodile tears streaming.

We lived 5 blocks from school and her brother was ready on time so he got a ride. After dropping him off I saw my daughter trudging to school. I stopped to see how she was, she didn't ask for a ride, just kept walking. She wasn't late after that.

Time is a tough one for ADHDers. The Time Timer - visual representation of how much time is left, available on Amazon of course, - is another well regarded tool.

I also used chores on little pieces of paper she could pull from a bowl rather than a list in a particular order. That way it wasn't the same thing every day, she liked that.

Keep trying different stuff. You will find something that works for her, hang in there.

BLC89

[Lion_Creek in reply to BLC89]

I love the chore options jar! She still helps, learns new skills, and isn't bored by the same old thing. ... I'm also trying to get out of the habit of reminding/nagging because it doesn't work, increases everyone's frustration, and takes even more time!! Honestly stopping myself from nagging is tough!

[BLC89 in reply to Lion_Creek]

It's really tough!

[penn_adhd in reply to Lion_Creek]

I set the Amazon Echo to remind my kid of things so I could nag less. Of course he eventually ignored that or turned the volume down. So I set it to turn the volume up before the announcement but unfortunately it just stayed loud for everything then even when I turned it down.

[Lion_Creek in reply to penn_adhd]

This is hilarious! I feel like 90% of my strategies backfire in some similar way!

[4travelers]

This is hard

Try giving her medicine right when she gets up so it is starting to kick in by the end of breakfast.

We are trying a music playlist right now that my son has to be at certain points in the am when particular songs are over. Out of bed by this song, etc.

[Lion_Creek in reply to 4travelers]

That's a great idea. We don't do medicine until she's just about to leave so she certainly has no help when we're trying to get out of the house. Thank you!

[penn_adhd in reply to Lion_Creek]

My kid takes meds at 7 so it has time to kick in before the school bus at 7:40 and he is out the door by 7:30.

If she doesn't take it until then because it won't last the day you may need a larger dose or a second smaller pill for the rest of the day depending on what she's on.

[GenX_Mom_Here in reply to penn_adhd]

I am struggling hard with getting to school on time, and someone recommended giving meds at wakeup before breakfast. Regarding the " a larger dose or a second smaller pill for the rest of the day"--would they then take the second pill during the school day, or in the morning with the other pills?

[Mamamichl]

I used to have that issue. I now plan on double the travel time. Say you need to go to the school by 8:00 and it takes 15 minutes to get there. Instead of planning to leave at 7:45, plan to leave at 7:30. That way her being late won’t stress you out so much. It allows me to make sure I’m on time even when I’m late. Traffic sometimes takes some of that time anyway.

[MyDogAteMyRitalin]

Hi, it has helped us to have my son get dressed for school before he goes to bed at night and sleep in his clothes. This way, there is one less thing to do in the morning. Would this help your daughter?

[Lion_Creek in reply to MyDogAteMyRitalin]

I hear you! Anything to make it easier in the morning!

[Profenergeticcoyote]

We also struggle with our 8 year old and I use checklists. I have a series of alarms on my phone at set time points to help me know where in our morning routine we should be to have an on-time departure. I do the morning routine solo (husband starts work at 6:30am and is out the door by 5:15am) but I am also a working mom and have to be on time!

We have separate checklists for the 8 and 2 (almost 3 )year old and it’s tough. I think long checklists can be overwhelming for my 8 year old with ADHD. Thanks BLC89 I wasn’t aware of the time timer clock and just bought one to try.

One thing I’m working on is saying thank you when he does any step. Even if I had to remind twice or three times. “Thank you for brushing your teeth, that helps us be on time and it’s important to me to be on time for work.”

I agree that it’s hard to haggle them. Hard for them and hard for us 😓 my son responds to praise and positivity which can me hard to muster after 5 requests but I dig deep and try to let him know I am glad when he can get these things done!

[Lion_Creek in reply to Profenergeticcoyote]

Oh man, we could all recite the checklists upside down and under water, and even though we can't complete them in a timely fashion, at least we have a common goal? I'm really needing to lay off the nagging... Hard to stop that and find the positive reinforcement sometimes for sure

[Meangreenllamabean]

Routine routine routine. We do the same things in the same order every time. My kiddo knows what to expect and I remind her every step.

"Get ready" doesn't work for us.

Make your breakfast, Eat, Put dishes in the sink, Go to the bathroom, pick out your clothes, Get dressed, Brush teeth, Brush hair... etc

Even when it's time to get out the door I say "shoe time" not "let's go" or something more vague so the expectations are crystal clear.

In my experience the only effective management of ADHD is intense discipline.

[Lion_Creek in reply to Meangreenllamabean]

Oh man, sounds so familiar. Concrete and achievable steps, clearly stated. I just don't want to state so many of them or state them so often!

[MrsD2]

I give my daughter breakfast in bed (cornflakes in a mug to reduce spillage) every day to reduce her distractions around the house. Then it’s just her room and bathroom jobs - she can’t be distracted by the dog and tov because they are downstairs! I still nag though and it’s not perfect but has saved us some time in the morning.