Our son is 8 years old with combined ADHD. He is bright and gets good grades but is constantly calling out in class and impulsively not listening to his teachers. Last year he was involved in a bunch of scuffles that hurt other children and we got frequent calls. This year that is better. Our biggest concerns are social. His play is very immature and controlling. He is very self centered. His only interests are video games. He avoids sports unless we coerce him. We have a very hard time setting up play dates due to his lack of interest and inflexibility, and he doesn’t get invitations, even to birthdays.
But the issue that keeps coming and going at home is he lies a LOT. He lies about washing his hands, brushing his teeth, cleaning up, taking medicine, eating his meals (he dumps them and lies). Sometimes this seems to die down a little and we think he’s learning, but we’re in a flare up now. He lies when you have clear evidence he’s lying. These days he gets even more huffy about how dare you accuse him. But he’s terrible at lying and covering things up. He’s starting to tell lies about what his little sister (2) has done and that’s a red line for me. Don’t want to get another child involved in a dysfunctional mess.
Any tips? I know he’s supposedly 3-4 years behind mentally, so lying might be a little more likely. But the relentless sticking to his lies I just don’t get at all. And why would it get worse with time? How long does this phase last? He’s super non-emotional and deadpan about all this stuff so it’s irritating and you never get a feel of remorse. We’ve had endless conversations about how we might punish him for breaking rules, but he’ll get a much lighter punishment if he tells the truth. His counselor has had a few. I’m fed up and want to resort to draconian punishments. But I know that’s wrong and anyway the only thing he cares about is video games. Ack, help!